Country Bombshell Hits The Beach In Pink, Melania Cripples FEMA & Jen Aniston Debunks Nasty Obama Rumor!
You know what I'm about to say, right? You KNOW.
The Libs let us do it … AGAIN! They let us make it to another Friday. Another weekend. I figured once Trump released the JFK files, it was over for us. No shot (unfortunate pun) they'd let us make it one more day.
But here we are. The first full work week for Trump under our belts, and we're still here. Frankly, we are THRIVING. And now we get to enjoy a few days off? My God. What a country.
Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where we enjoy some R&R with country music bombshell Megan Moroney and go from there.
What else? I've got the best of the rest from a big week of #content, I cannot get enough of this Jennifer Aniston/Barack Obama rumor (no SHOT it's true, by the way … right?), and I'm going to show everyone in class today just how insufferable and disgusting the fake news media really is.
That's right. I have a chart and everything! Notepads open, boys and girls. We're digging IN today.
Oh yeah! Melania will stop by to show the Libs how to properly dress.
Grab you a beer can for National Beer Can Day – any will do! – and settle in for a Friday 'Cap!
Start your weekend with this BANGER
Love a good old-school beer can. They don't make ‘em like they used to. Not even close. And I’m not even talking about the old-old-old ones. I'm just talking about the old Bud Light and Miller Lite cans/bottles.
The Busch can from the 80s/90s? Insane. Old Milwaukee? The best. Old is always better. Always, always, always. It's why old shit from the past always comes back in style years later.
The First Lady recently told me that the old disposable camera you'd buy from the Eckerd's down the street are making a comeback. True story.
Amazing. What a way to start a Friday class! You ain't getting this kind of shit on woke CNN.
You are, however, probably getting THIS. Listen up, and listen good, because the Libs are starting their comeback tour today:
What a week of #content!
What a chant from the left! This is how they start their comeback tour. This is it. We're cooked. It's over. We had a good run of #winning, but I fear it's coming to an end.
This is the song of the winter right here, boys and girls. You wanna go out and party with the boys? You throw on BIPOC. You wanna play 18 and get the fellas going on the back nine? BIPOC. You're out at a bar and they have a stupid touch tunes machine in the corner? BIPOC on LOOP, baby!
Black and indigenous people of color, black and indigenous people of color, lesbian, gay, bi, transgender, and queer, lesbian, gay, bi, transgender, and queer, Asian American Pacific Islander.
Look out, Billboard Top 100. Molly is COMING for that ass. Buckle up.
OK, let's get to the best #content from the week that's been sitting in my Twitter bookmarks for days now.
First up? A quick lesson on the insufferable fake news media:
Readers fix the CFP ratings problem
What a WEEEEEK! Couple things …
1. That last one? Cannot get enough of it. For those who don't follow these things like the OJ trial, there's a nasty little rumor floating around that Barack and Michelle are barreling towards divorce because he slept with Jennifer Aniston.
Yes, THAT Jennifer Aniston!
Incredible. I need this to be true like I need air to breathe. Now, there is no chance it is. Well, scratch that. There's, like, a 0.1% chance there is. But still, no chance.
That being said, I cannot think of a bigger bombshell for the Democratic Party than Mr. Do-No-Wrong Barack Obama banging Jennifer Aniston. It would be chaos. The Dems would faint. Incredible.
But also – and I know she's become another typical insufferable Hollywood elite – but I won't tolerate Jennifer Aniston slander in this class. Sorry, I grew up on Rachel Green and I will defend her till I die. So piss off, internet! Leave her alone.
2. Melania is on a run right now that we will never, ever see again. She's somehow gotten hotter since her first go-round as First Lady. Amazing.
3. See what I mean about #FakeNews? It's THAT easy. They're THAT disgusting. It's why you always have to have your head on a swivel. Not in this class, though. We don't do that shit. We mean what we say and say what we mean.
OK, rapid-fire time on this chilly Friday afternoon. First up? Reader mail – CFB playoff edition!
From Paul:
Just an idea, but I'll use the schedule of this year's games.
1. To start the college season Army/Navy on Aug 31 (the Daytona/Masters of the sport).
2. NFL starts their 17 game season on Sep 1st.
3. College starts their regular season on Sep 7th.
4. College plays their 12 games, with 1 bye week.
5. Championship weekend on Dec 7th.
6. Playoff teams get 2 weeks off. Rnd 1 on Dec 28th, Rnd 2 on Jan 4th, semis on Jan 11th.
7. Bye week for the final two teams.
8. Championship game on Jan 25th.
9. NFL wild card would be on Jan 5th.
10. Divisional round on Jan 12th.
11. Conference championship on Jan 19th.
12. Bye week for the final two teams.
13. Super Bowl on Feb 2nd.
You will get your college championship hype on the dead weekend where there is no football. Also, just think about watching CFP games on Saturday and NFL playoff on Sundays as well as back to back weekend championship football games. I think it will be awesome.
Thanks, Paul!
It is interesting, essentially having the NFL and CFB seasons swap start dates. Not the worst idea I've ever heard. They pretty much did it during COVID. Don't love moving Army/Navy, though. Not sure Trump's gonna let that shit fly.
Solid plan, though.
Next? Jon weighs in on yesterday's discussion:
They just take way too long with too many interruptions between rounds.
Just need to go weekend after weekend with no time off. Could possibly make the championship game on New Year’s Day if things lined up correctly.
And one more thing – have every round except the championship hosted on campus. I know that will never happen because of $$$, but would bring a ton of energy and save fan bases from traveling all over.
Megan Moroney enjoys the offseason, but it's time to go racing!
Thanks, Jon!
Love the idea of having all the games on campus sites. The first round games this year were by far the best of any, atmosphere-wise. They'll never do it, but they should. It's especially dumb giving the top four seeds all a bye, but then not giving them a home game. Don't quite get that one.
I do agree that the whole thing was too long. Too much of a drag. And here's another one: stop giving us weekday games. We don't want our college football playoff games on a Thursday and Friday – and a MONDAY. That's nonsense. Let's start there.
OK, two more on the way out. First? Welcome back, motorsports! The Rolex 24 goes green tomorrow afternoon, and that means the racin' offseason is over.
Oh, who's the honorary race official tomorrow, you ask? Miss DAMN America, baby!
Welcome to Daytona, Abbie! Nothing like crowning an SEC cheerleader as the next leader of this great country. God, are we BACK or what?
PS: great start for the fellas! Nothing like a shitstorm on Lap 1 to kick off the season!
OK, that's all for today – and for this week. Let's all go have a big ‘ol weekend, and remember to welcome country music bombshell Megan Moroney to class on the way out!
Welcome, Megan!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You ? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.