Cop's Manhood Insecurities Allegedly Sparks Sex Toy Shop Beatdown

Oklahoma law enforcement officer David Dewitt is on the wrong side of the law after an alleged sex toy store fight.

The Pottawatomie County sheriff's commander was charged with assault and battery after an alleged incident in Oklahoma City at Christie's Toy Box, according to Fox25.

Dewitt allegedly entered the store with a woman and repeatedly argued with her when she wanted to purchase something…..for possibly the funniest reason imaginable.

The issue was the main sex toy in question the woman wanted was "bigger than him."

Oklahoma law enforcement behavior David Dewitt arrested after alleged sex toy store beatdown. (Credit: Getty Images)

David Dewitt accused of beating sex toy store employee.

That led to Dewitt allegedly raising his hands in threatening fashion, and a clerk intervened. The Oklahoma LEO responded by stating, "Fuck you, I'm a cop."

Eventually, the situation cooled down before eventually going off the rails when the clerk asked Dewitt if he needed batteries for the sex toy, according to the same report.

Dewitt allegedly asked the clerk, "What the f**k you say to me, fat boy?" He then allegedly attacked the clerk and repeatedly struck him in the face and ribs.

He was eventually arrested but not before telling the clerk, "Call the f*cking cops. I'm an officer of the law. You don't f*cking assault me. I can have you arrested, jailed to where you never get out."

Yes, threatening a guy with life in prison after allegedly beating the hell out of him over a sex toy. Very rational, normal and calm.

David Dewitt arrested on assault and battery charges. (Credit: Getty Images)

Sex toy store beatdown leads to officer being arrested.

I'm not sure a beatdown is ever super funny, but I might have to make an exception here. Not because a guy getting lit up is funny. It's not - most of the time.

However, it's the alleged root cause here that is among the funniest things I've heard in a very long time.

How insecure do you need to be that a sex toy leads to a fight? If the allegations are true, then David Dewitt told on himself.

Generally speaking, confident people don't feel the need to overcompensate in any aspect of life. Whether it's work, relationships or your manhood, if you're good, then you're good. It's the Barry Sanders rule. Act like you've been there before. I actually discussed this a bit with my own relationships on Charly's show.

I don't want to question David Dewitt's manhood because I enjoy not getting punched, BUT (what a beautiful word), he's not leaving me much of a choice here if he truly got into a fight because a sex toy was "bigger than him."

There's simply no coming back from that. David Dewitt should cut up his credit cards, cut internet access and head for the hills. Seriously, how do you bounce back from the country learning this detail? I'm pretty sure you don't.

Best of luck to David Dewitt moving forward. Honestly, it might be fair to just drop the charges. He's suffered a kind of humiliation no man can go through. He might have already paid the price. Call this one a wash. Hit me with your reactions at David.Hookstead@outkick.com.