College Gymnast Sydney Smith Is Coming, St. Patrick's Day With Jennifer Aniston, Robot BJs, Kamala Booed, March Weddings
Does it get any better than starting your St. Patrick's Day night with late-afternoon March Madness basketball? That was rhetorical. The answer is obviously no. Unless, of course, you casually have a Friday evening wedding to attend. Unlike college gymnast Sydney Smith, there's no flexibility there.
Yep. Yours truly is actually at a wedding right now, as you sit and read this with college basketball on in the background. By the way, it's an outdoor ceremony, too. In Florida. In March, where the temperature can range anywhere from 50 degrees (which it was this morning) to 90 degrees (which it is right now).
And guess what, boys and girls? This Nightcaps conductor is a sweater, and I ain't exactly wearing loose-fitting clothing to this thing. Hell, I'm more buttoned-up right now than one of Kamala Harris' pantsuits.
So, you know, I'm having a good day. It's fun. We're having fun.
Alas, though, the show goes on. We don't complain too much around here. Nightcaps is for the blue-collar folks who put their hard-hat on every day, rain or shine, pour a hot cup of Maxwell House with Bailey's (it is St. Paddy's day, after all) and get to work.
That's what we're gonna do. And, thanks to another loyal reader with eyes like a hawk, today's class starts with a college gymnast who may just give Olivia Dunne a damn run for her money.
Sydney Smith has burst onto the college influencer scene
We're in the business of making stars here at OutKick, and I'd like to think Nightcaps has done a pretty good job of that so far. Two weeks ago it was Paige Spiranac impersonator Lilia Schneider, last week it was Cart Girl Cass Holland, and today it's Southern Connecticut State gymnast Sydney Smith.
She was brought to my attention a few days ago by a longtime (seven weeks) reader who knows more about TikTok than I do, which isn't saying much because I don't have one. Ain't getting one either, by the way. I don't want China tracking my every move. I'm more of a Myspace guy, anyway. #TeamTom.
Back to one Sydney Smith, who goes by @SyndeyShmity on the Tok and has nearly 1 million followers. Apparently, we have a lot of gymnastics fans out there.
Can't imagine why!
Yeah, I'm all in. Give me Sydney over Olivia Dunne any day of the week. I love a good underdog story, and this is it right here. We talk Livvy, Livvy, Livvy seven days a week, but it's time to turn our attention up the coast to Connecticut, where a star is emerging.
And you know how I'm even more sure of it? Sydney has started teaming up with someone called Drip King in recent weeks for a little TikTok collab, and rumors are swirling that these two may be together.
If that's the case, it's game over.
PS: don't know anything about this cat, but this made me laugh.
Such a simple joke, but it gets me every time. You never see it coming. Good stuff. And welcome to stardom, Sydney. Go Owls!
Kamala Harris talks to Howard basketball team like they're a bunch of little leaguers
(I'm going to casually ignore that misspelling, by the way. We don't judge here at Nightcaps.)
I know fellow Nightcaps captain Anthony Farris wrote about our VP earlier today, but it's so bad I had to hit on it, too.
For Anthony's scathing review, click here! For those who already read it this morning but have had six green Busch Lights already and need a quick reminder, here ya go ...
It's just so, so, so bad. Not only did these poor Howard players just lose by 30, but now they have to listen to Kamala Harris talk to them like they just lost the little league county championship game.
You guys are so good. So good. You played hard. You played till the last second. Chin up, shoulders back.
Huh? What the hell does that mean? "Shoulders back"? I played sports from elementary school through college, and can honestly say I've never heard shoulders back. That's 20 years of being an athlete and 0 shoulders back references from my 50 different coaches.
Hilarious.
Anyway, everyone is saying Harris was booed viciously during the game, too, but I can't find a single video of it on Twitter. Sure, that's not fishy.
Be better, Elon.
Also, drool some more over Kamala Harris, Brian Anderson. "Oh, there she is!" Nobody is that excited to see a single person. You're not fooling us.
Happy St. Patrick's Day from Jennifer Aniston!
OK, let's get back into the holiday spirit with ... Jennifer Aniston?
Jennifer Aniston!
Everybody knows her as Friends heartthrob Rachel Green (hey, that works!), and that's perfectly acceptable. In fact, Jen turned 54 a few weeks ago, and I wrote about her reign as Rachel Green here. Take a look, and you're welcome.
Anyway, this is about pre-Friends Jennifer Aniston when she made her film debut as Tory Redding in the cult horror film Leprechaun.
And guess what, haters? Go ahead and make fun of Leprechaun all you want, but it was followed by FIVE sequels. Five!
Leprechaun 2 (1994), Leprechaun 3 (1995), Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997), Leprechaun in the Hood (2000), and Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood (2003).
What a damn scene. Get it, Jen. So much to digest.
Absolutely zero logic behind her thinking it was the boyfriend under the truck. How did he get under there so fast? Why would he be there in the first place? And she doesn't even check to make sure it's him? Hilarious.
And, as far as I'm concerned, anyone who goes sticking their hands into a dark hole deserves whatever they get. That's on you, dad.
Anyway, cheers to Jennifer Aniston on this St. Patrick's Day Friday. What a role.
Jennifer Aniston started her career with a bang.
Robot BJs ain't what you think
I mean, come on. That's a funny headline, right? You know what's not funny? The real meaning behind it.
Meet Tally, the robot coming to every single BJ's Wholesale Club across America to spy on you while you browse the cereal aisle.
Tally is coming for you.
This is how it starts, folks. ChatGPT is the big thing right now, and it's only the beginning. The robots have already taken over most checkout lines across the country, and now we're about to get them in our grocery stores replacing hard-working Americans.
Disgusting.
Tally is roughly 38 inches tall and will be tasked to scan every aisle throughout the day to collect information about any and everything, including what needs restocking, and which customers need assistance.
Nope. No sir. Better not see Tally at my local Publix, or it's game on.
By the way, how great is Publix? By far the best grocery store in America, and it ain't particularly close. Unbelievable sub, too.
Fine. Mount Rushmore of Subs time!
For those of you who know what Miami Subs is (was?), you get extra points today. That's next-level stuff.
Quiznos was elite back in the day. I haven't had an mmmmm, toasty Quiznos sub in years, mainly because they're all pretty much gone. It's a damn shame. Great commercials, though.
Emptying the tank for the weekend
Thanks to Screencaps OG Joe Kinsey for unearthing this gem today. What a moment for this news crew.
Unreal. Give that girl a raise, pronto. Elite content. Dunkin' most be thrilled with the ad spot, too. Have to pounce on that golden opportunity for the next commercial.
Next up, let's check in with Buffalo Wild Wings, which was sued earlier this week for allegedly lying about its boneless wings.
Boneless wings, by the way, get a bad rap. People like to crap all over them and act alpha and say, 'You're not a man if you don't eat real chicken wings,' blah blah blah.
But you're all posers, and I know it. Guess what? Sometimes I'm in the mood for chicken wings but also not in the mood to have my hands rendered useless for the next 20 minutes.
Some of us have extremely long, thick beards and eating wings is more complicated than a Rubik's Cube. Get off your high horses.
That being said, this video never gets old. Saucy nugs!
And on that note, I have to go try to squeeze into a suit so I can properly bake in the Florida sun for the next few hours.
Hope March Madness is going well.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Think Olivia Dunne is still better than Sydney Smith? You're wrong, but you can still email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.