Colbert Accidentally Made Us All Howl

The funniest thing late-night host Stephen Colbert said in ages wasn’t uttered from his “Late Show” perch.

The far-Left comedian shared it with Variety co-editor-in-chief Cynthia Littleton during the outlet’s streaming room platform.

Colbert opened up about creatively surviving the pandemic, bringing more “diversity” to his writers’ room and his show's prime directive.

Warning: Don’t drink any liquids before reading it.

“Job no. 1 is comedy,” Colbert says with a straight face, as if he didn’t personify the term, “Clapter” since President Donald Trump took office.

“Our self-imposed mandate is, ‘what is everybody talking about today?’ Unless it's inescapably tragic we’re gonna find a way to joke about it,” he says.

That’s not remotely true, of course. 

Colbert’s CBS show, like every other late-night series without the name Gutfeld in the title, is first and foremost a partisan affair. Team Colbert ignores juicy Democratic targets like Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Senate Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and the "big guy" behind soaring gas prices and raging inflation.

You know the thing. And forget about poking fun at First Son Hunter Biden and the Cackler in Chief, VP Kamala Harris.

Instead, Colbert attacks former President Donald Trump, Fox News’ Tucker Carlson, and other right-leaning figures no matter what the news cycle delivers.

Next, Colbert falls victim to some classic projection.

“People lay a lot on any hosts who talk about what’s going on today as if we’re news. Or if we’re here to instruct people or if we’re here to be a form of Xanax ,” he said.

That’s exactly how many see Colbert these days, assuaging Democrats who realize a big, red wave is approaching and progressives have little power to stop it.

The hard-hitting Variety interview saw Colbert playing footsie with President Joe Biden, the man who should be his number one satirical target. 

“When he’s Pops Joe, the aviators can come out. But not all the time because the stuff is too dark,” said Colbert, who admits 75% of Americans think the nation is heading in the wrong direction.

The veteran cutup can’t connect the dots, alas.

Littleton cheers on Colbert for embracing a more diverse writers' room in recent years.

“You really made an effort to bring a lot of different perspectives,” she coos.

“I’m really happy that it’s much more diverse, much more varied than it used to be,” he said.

Why?

“You’re going to get fresh and surprising perspectives that you couldn’t get from yourself,” he said. “The more diverse room, the more diverse takes you get.”

Imagine black, brown, Asian, and white scribes from all walks of life sharing the same Trump jokes night after night.

Diversity!

Colbert, oblivious to reality, doubles down on his show’s “strengths.”

“I want other points of view. I want to be able to understand stories in a variety of different ways and how they affect different communities and different parts of my audience,” he continued. Like the time he channeled Marie Antoinette and said he didn’t mind soaring gas prices because his fat salary can cover them?

DOES STEPHEN COLBERT STILL THINK RECORD-HIGH GAS PRICES ARE WORTH A ‘CLEAN CONSCIENCE’?

Or how he mocked lockdown protesters trying to save their family businesses.

Again, hilarious stuff. Except Colbert wasn’t trying to be funny. And he might not be laughing after the U.S. Capitol Police get through with some of his production team.

A gaggle of “Late Show” members, including frequent guest Robert “Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog” Smigel, were arrested June 16 for illegal trespassing in a U.S. House of Representatives office building.

The crew had gained permission to shoot interviews during the Jan. 6 committee hearings, a completely fair and not remotely partisan affair, earlier in the day. Capitol Police said the “Late Show” staffers were told to exit the premises but allegedly overstayed their welcome.

Still, Colbert is right about a few things (even if he doesn’t actually mean them).

Diverse opinions can make for richer comedy, especially with inside the Beltway yuks. The latest headlines should be prime monologue fodder, regardless of political party. And comedy should always be job no. 1 for any late-night host (along with following the letter of the law).

Instead, “The Late Show” and its ilk teem with lectures, talking points and recycled HuffPo op-eds. Is it any wonder Fox News' “Gutfeld!” beats most, if not all, the late-night competition?