A Clogged Toilet At A Birthday Party Caused A Man's Girlfriend To Dump Him
What do you do when you're away from home, you clog someone’s toilet, and there isn’t a plunger to be found anywhere? We've all been there, and it's not a great situation to find yourself in.
If you're J.J. Watt, you take matters into your own hands. You reach into the toilet and unclog it with your hands. If you're this guy who was in his mid-20s at the time, you flush the toilet again then make a break for it after it overflows.
He was at his girlfriend's cousin's house at the time celebrating her cousin's 30th birthday. As he explained on Reddit, it was summer, the party was in the backyard for what he described as an "awesome setup" with a lot of people in attendance.
During the festivities, probably after sucking down a hamburger and a couple of hot dogs, he had to use the bathroom. He then found himself in a tough spot and panicked.
"Anyway, I needed to use the bathroom. So I went. #2. Average poop size. I don't know why, but clogged the toilet. I couldn't find the plunger," he explained.
"I flushed it again and disgusting poop water overflowed onto the floor. I got the hell out of there. Went back outside. I wasn't drunk or stupid or anything. Just unlucky."
After about 20 minutes or so, his mess was discovered by the wife of his girlfriend's cousin. She was livid and came out of the bathroom screaming. She wanted to know who the guilty party was that destroyed her bathroom.
Rather than confess to clogging the toilet then letting the mess overflow all over the floor, he let the blame be placed on some people who had just left the party. He "felt awful and like a total scumbag," but not awful enough to reveal he had done it or even help with the cleanup.
"The birthday boy found the plunger (in the other bathroom of the house), fixed it. A crew of people raided the paper towel rolls stash and did cleanup. 20 minutes later it was clean and done. Someone mopped and cleaned. The wife was happy," he said.
Everything happens for a reason, even a clogged toilet at a birthday party
The party continued, but the wife was determined to find out who the culprit was. The mystery of the clogged toilet caused drama for weeks after the party. Eventually, the drama ended without the truth being revealed.
That was until three months or so after the birthday party. She was in bed with her girlfriend playing the classic "tell me a secret" game. They started with sex secrets before he told her that he was the logger of the toilet at her cousin's birthday party.
That confession, it turned out, was a mistake. He said his girlfriend went nuts, "She jumped out of bed, naked, and started screaming at me calling me a disgusting pig. She said it caused friend/family drama because the wife accused others and arguments happened."
She then told him to get dressed and kicked him out. The clogging of the toilet and the aftermath was something that this relationship could not survive.
The cousin wanted to beat him up, his girlfriend dumped him, but it all turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Five or so years after the bathroom mishap, he met his wife.
She's a much nicer woman than his ex-girlfriend.
He admits it was a scumbag move to clog the toilet, not say anything, and not help clean up the mess, but he did send an apology card with a restaurant gift card to his ex's cousin and his wife.