Christina Aguilera Has Me Feeling Like It's 2000 & I'm Not A Fat Dad Who Falls Asleep Sitting Upright

One minute you're in college, MTV still has live TV shows, Bill Clinton is the President and you still have a landline phone. 

The next thing you know, 24 years have passed, you're fat, married with kids, you are commissioner of a virtual mowing league, and you fall asleep sitting upright in a recliner as Donald Trump rambles on for an hour and a half as he looks to become President, again.

Where the hell have 24 years of life gone? Unreal. 

Imagine my surprise this morning as Christina Aguilera, 43, headlines were crossing my social media feeds proclaiming that the pop princess IS FULLY BACK to being a pop culture icon. 

Hell yes, I'm going to get sucked into a headline like that. CLICK! 

Is she really BACK BACK? It's not like she's fully disappeared from public eye, but she's been like a guy running in the middle of a NASCAR pack for 15 years. She's been here, but she's not BEEN HERE. Sure, there have been some top-five finishes and some moments here and there, but BACK? Those are big words. 

Then I opened Xtina's Instagram and it was like being transported back to college. It was like I was transported back to those toga parties and getting loaded on Tuesdays. 

And imagine my utter shock when I saw that she's holding a hardwired phone just hours after I fell asleep sitting in the recliner to Trump's ramblings. Talk about my mind being blown. It was like I was hallucinating on mushrooms (I've never done mushrooms, but some of my buddies tell me all about them & swear they're eye-opening). 

Speaking of eye-opening, 24 years of life flashed before my eyes as Aguilera laid there on the couch with her phone. 

Wasn't she just appearing with Britney at the 2000 MTV Music Awards? 

Britney Spears (left) and Christina Aguilera at the 2000 MTV Video Music Awards at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. / Getty Images

Remember when Christina performed with Fred Durst that night? 

Fred now spends his free time tweeting about politics when he's not out on tour with Limp Bizkit. Britney Spears now argues with Ozzy Osbourne, who is pretty much on his death bed. 

Christina Aguilera and Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit performing on the 2000 MTV Video Music Awards live from Radio City Music Hall in New York City. / Frank Micelotta/Getty Images

Remember when Lit was a huge band and carried around Christina at some awards show in 2000? Jeremy Popoff is now a big fan of OutKick founder Clay Travis and has even allowed Clay to sing "My Own Worst Enemy" on stage with the group. 

L-R: A. Jay Popoff of Lit, Jeremy Popoff, Aguilera, Kevin Baldes and  Allen Shellenberger at the 17th Annual ASCAP Pop Music Awards on May 22, 2000. (Photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)

LIT went from carrying Christina to this moment with Clay in 2023. 

What are the lessons from today's news that Christina Aguilera IS BACK BACK?

1. You never know who's going to be President in 24 years. Trump was 54 in 2000. 

Hollywood types who are 54 right now: Matthew McConaughey, Gwen Stefani, Jack Black, Triple H, Trey Parker, Dana White, Hunter Biden, Vince Vaughn, Brett Favre, John Fetterman, Lori from Shark Tank and Ice Man Chuck Liddell. 

2. Ladies, it's not over when you hit 43. Look at how Christina is living life. Just because you're 43 doesn't mean you should be curled up in a blanket at 7 and watching Wheel of Fortune in the dark. 

3. There are going to be young pop stars right now who eventually pivot and argue about politics for hours each day because they're bored. 

4. Your current cellphone is going to look like a dinosaur in 24 years. 

5. A current young pop star could one day be arguing with Fred Durst who could be on his deathbed.

6. There's a young college student out there who can become the next Clay Travis. It can happen, kids.