Christina Aguilera Kicks Off Halloween With Dracula Vampire Costume, Crazy 2009 Ford Taurus Fact & MEAT!
Tonight is when I remind Screencaps Jr. and Screencaps the III how the IRS works
Questions and observations entering Halloween:
1. I've been teaching my kids all about how the IRS works ever since daycare would send them home with a treat on Fridays. They know the Daddy Tax is coming and they DO NOT like it. Welcome to your future, kids.
Get in on the conversation on Twitter or on the Screencaps Facebook Group page.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
2. I'll be in costume this morning at 11:35 ET on the "Ricky Cobb Show" (WATCH HERE: https://www.outkick.com/watch)
3. Screencaps the III loves Kit-Kat bars, which means I need to make him hand over a couple of them to feel the real pain the IRS will hit him with later in life. If I take a 100 Grand that he doesn't want, it won't have the full effect.
4. My dad always put candy bars in the freezer which means I do the same thing. Mrs. Screencaps thinks I'm nuts and that it leaves the candy bars with a plastic-y taste. Am I crazy for enjoying frozen Halloween candy bars?
5. I have to hand it to the Millennials without kids who moved in a few years back for keeping up with their tradition of wheeling out a full bar to the end of their driveway and serving the parents who are on kid duty. Take note, Millennials.
6. We MUST stop the Boo Basket trend! One of these days I need to build a flow chart on all the bullshit that happens to turn women into Stanley-suckin' Travel Ball Moms®.
This is excellent Halloween content from Timmy2Cuts
This is why the guy is a Thursday Night Mowing League Hall of Famer.
'The Craziest Class On Your College Transcript'
- Keith W. went to Arizona State…you know where this is going:
Great responses to the interesting college courses, so I had to chime in.... I went to college at ASU and I also had a couple of PE classes that I always remember,
and back then it kind of blew me away that I could get credit for playing PE.
One was archery. We set up targets inside this big old school gymnasium, we each got our own bow and arrows, and we just shot at targets the whole class. I won the end of year tournament, so I definitely passed.
Second was softball, played on the rec fields in the center of campus. I'm still friends with a couple buddies I met in that class to this day. Not much better in spring time than crushing a couple home runs as tons of ASU coeds in their new summer dresses walk to class around you.
- Vols fan Ridge Runner writes:
Hey, Joe, got a kick out of your weak-ass college courses topic, I had some real winners at University of Tennessee in the early '80s. Forget about Military Science, well-known as an easy-A for jocks, where I was classmates with HOF lineman Reggie White and Cowboys great (and Hershel Walker victim, check out the YT vid) Bill Bates. Then there was History Of Rock and Roll, where the one thing I remember is the "professor" saying "I Wanna Be Your Dog" by Iggy Pop was the "scariest song ever." I also remember getting credit for separate classes on Volleyball, Badminton and Racquetball I. The latter, the first day of class this cocky instructor said anybody who could beat him would get an automatic A; well this skinny kid from Memphis hammered his ass 21-3 then 21-1 in back-to-back games, very memorable. I remember hearing later that Memphis had been a real hot-bed for the then-emerging sport of racquetball in that era, this kid must have been a product of that.
One more thing: the headline Wednesday said "Mikayla Demaiter....pumpkins," I saw no Mikayla Demaiter but a few nice pumpkins. Deceptive advertise, dude.
- William R in Reisterstown, Maryland shares a good one:
At my last semester at UMBC (University of Maryland Baltimore County), I took a bowling course. As a longtime duckpin bowler, I pretty much dominated the class on the lanes. The interesting part of it, for the purpose of your column, was the final exam. It consisted of 1 question:
Question: Why is bowling the world's quietest sport?
Answer: Because you can hear a pin drop.
I don't know how many people answered correctly, and I don't know if it was actually graded or if it was just a gimmick, but it was almost 30 years ago and I still remember it.
I remember a few years ago you were in a bowling phase and were looking for your first strike? Did it ever happen? I guess you would have written about it if it had.
One last thing, regarding yesterday's column. Any column with a mention of the Mikayla in the headline is going to get my attention. However, I didn't see anything from her in the actual column. What's up with that? Highly unlikely that I missed her.
Shout out to you, Vern, the beer man in the Nebraska and all the great readers and mowers out there.
Kinsey:
It was duckpin where I couldn't get a strike. It needs to cool off around here so I can head back into the bars to play duckpin. I'll get back into it.
As for bowling, I was on the lanes back in February or March. I'd have to dig up the photo, but I believe I had a 175 after not picking up a bowling ball in at least 10-15 years. Bowling strikes aren't the issue. I need to figure out the wax patterns on the duckpin lanes.
- Tyler V. had a crazy class final exam he'll be talking about for years:
My second senior year at Alabama, 2001, I took golf and the season consisted of going to the driving range/putting green once a week for class. Our final exam was supposed to be chipping and putting for points, but it rained the day of our final. Instead, we met in the team meeting room and our teacher gave us a one-question final exam which was, "Name one of the 5 majors."
I said, "Coach, there's only 4 majors!"
His reply, "Get out of here, TV, you get an A."
The Current State of Visiting Colleges With Your High School Kids: Don't sit in the front row
- Gerard writes:
We took our son on Columbus Day to an "Elite College" in St. Paul Minnesota for a college visit. We arrived a few minutes before the Welcoming Session started and my son, wife and I had to sit in the front row of the 300-seat auditorium. It was full of prospective students and their parents. The clearly male faculty member starts the session off by giving his pronouns. He then mentions that it is "Indigenous Peoples Day" and proceeds to say a prayer to the Indians apologizing for stealing their land. (Not sure what the hell he was talking about because he looked about 40 years old and not 140….) I had seen enough and would’ve walked out if we weren’t in the front row, but it actually got much worse….
With in a few minutes, I hear a chant "From the River to the Sea Palestine Shall be free!" 15 or so Current students at this college come marching down both sides of the auditorium chanting this. They have all kinds of Genocide signs and their "leader" had a bullhorn. They got on stage and proceeded to demand the board of this college divest from Israel. This was at the Welcoming Session to try to get students to come to this Insane College! WTF. My wife and son had to physically grab me so I didn’t walk out. When the kids left, all the He / Him faculty member said was that protesting was allowed on campus. No apology.
We did stay for the tour and every student gave their pronouns. I started looking around and there was not one "normal" looking kid on this campus. (One beautiful Co Ed walked out of class dressed like a sex worker. I am not kidding) None of these students could really look you in the eye. The majority seemed to have some sort of mental problem. I truly believe that the Wokeness these kids have been exposed to in their youth has given them severe mental issues. I am no longer angry at them, just sad for them.
There is hope though. My son has been accepted at a very conservative college in Michigan just an hour from Perrysburg. Didn’t see one mentally ill child on that campus when we visited. Fingers crossed he attends there.
What did you do for beer money in your early 20s?
- Rob has a great story from back in the 1970s:
It's been awhile. Still a regular reader, but I think the last time I checked in with you, I was cruising off the coast of Antarctica a couple years back.
I've enjoyed the stories about the unusual college courses. Mine would be taking Christian marriage at UD. Not so unusual for a Catholic university, but I skipped most of the classes, wrote all the essays on the last weekend and got the only C of my college career. Fortunately, that hasn't translated to real life.
It got me thinking about all the crazy things we used to do to earn beer money. I never sold blood, but I did take part in a psych thesis experiment for a quick 10 bucks. Others that come to mind were selling flowers on Valentine's Day on the corner of 724 and 741 by the Dayton Mall while standing in 6ft snow pile (it was the year of the blizzard of '78).
I froze for 5 hours and didn't sell a thing until evening rush hour, and then sold out in 45 minutes to all the guys desperate for a last minute solution. There was also a part-time job as a night janitor at a local preschool. That first night, vacuuming and buffing the floors wasn't too bad, but cleaning all the p*ss of the boys' bathroom floor was the end of that job for me.
Thanks for running the best column on the internet.
Screencaps readers who bought BIG HDTVs in 1998 when they debuted
- Jason S. shares a great story:
I started dying laughing today when I saw the post about the first HDTV’s. I was just out of college in Austin and there was a small family owned business called Oscar Snowdens that had been around for like 40 years selling appliances.
They were an official dealer of Mitsubishi products. Me and my friends would go in from time to time to admire the audio and video equipment and the owners son would always indulge us by showing clips from the laser disc collection.
Long story short one day we went in and maybe had been smoked a little too much that day and bought one of those bad boys with the matching sound system on credit, with the zero down, zero interest for the year.
Out 6k and took me years to ever pay it off. Bad chose fresh out of college but man did me and my friends enjoy it.
Get your election texts in before the election!
Just make sure to crop out your phone numbers!
Remember, this project is FAIR & BALANCED. If you're a lib who wants to scream at an election text, fire away. Let it OUT! I'll post it in a heartbeat.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
This video must've been sent to me at least 50 times
10 years ago, readers would tag me on photos and videos of crazy sports fans. Now I get remote controlled mower videos. Times sure have changed.
So I'm not the only one who noticed this at Costco on a Wednesday
Mrs. Screencaps and I ran to Costco FAST on Wednesday to get Halloween candy and the first thing I noticed was that the place was absolutely HAMMERED at lunch and it wasn't a bunch of guys getting the $1 dogs.
We were there to get in, get out and get back to work. Turns out the place was full like a Saturday afternoon.
What the hell is going on?
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That's it. It's 8:59 and I have to run.
Let's go have a great Halloween. Have fun drinking with your neighbors and stealing candy from your kids. Try not to be too hungover for work tomorrow.
As for you retirees, hopefully the kids don't run through your flower beds.
Take care.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com