Chicago Pizza Is Better Than New York Pizza | Bobby Burack
People got mad at me on the internet last week.
As a guy who believes in groupthink and is afraid to challenge my gatekeepers, the negativity triggered me.
That's what I got for naming Chicago pizza better than New York pizza.
Keep in mind, I prefer small-town pizza above both. And it's not because the single-slice pizza I get at the local party store after 20 minutes in the heater is better. It's not. Rather, it's because each time I attend one of these major cities I realize my town of 300 people is a better fit for me.
The traffic, waiting for Uber, eerie smells of the city, the Pride Progress flags hanging from the buildings, and murders are, uhm, overrated.
But nonetheless, I took a trip to Chicago for my birthday and took a side in the pizza debate.
I chose Chicago. As my friend Ryan Glasspiegel noted, it is the most controversial thing I have ever written.
He's right. The pizza debate is subjective. The cowardice of the trans movement, war on the truth, escalation of fake racism, manipulation of messaging, and gross incompetence of our leaders are objective facts.
Still, New York pizza is a bit overrated. It's essentially a thinner, more expensive alternative to pizza in every other city.
Chicago-style is unique. And the sauce makes a pizza. New York-style often neglects enough sauce To Be Elite (sorry, Chicago, I was there Saturday night -- I know you hate them.)
Don't just take my word for it. The editor-in-chief of The Babylon Bee, Kyle Mann, tweeted he agrees with me. The Bee knows comedy. And apparently pizza.
That said, his didn't look quite as good:
Still looks better than what you get in New York...
OutKick host Dan Dakich also agrees, calling me a "genius." Check out Dakich every morning on OutKick, by the way. He's great.
But in the same locker room, I was told I was getting "less wise" because of my pizza take. That came via Hayley Caronia.
My response: get back to TikToking, Hayley.
Same with OutKick writer Sean Joseph. But, see, that's okay. The team at OutKick "forgot" to invite me to their fantasy football league last year. So, I'm used to being the outlier at the company.
Plus, this account called "Everything is awesome!" seems more credible than my colleagues anyway.
"For someone who's right a lot, this could be the most right you've ever been," they tweeted at me.
Speaking of being right. Karol Markowicz is often right. But, uh, not here.
Another person also called my pizza a "quiche." Another follower called Chicago-style lasagna. He seems confused. Though I appreciate the follow.
RoadMN is a must-follow on Twitter. He posts daily cable news charts, ranking each show by way of viewership. He's a particularly amusing follow for those curious about the state of CNN and its former viewers...
Anyway, he says Chicago pizza is not a pizza but an unappealing pie.
"No way. Lori Lightfoot pizza can never be better than NY," said another commentator. He's right, Lightfoot sucks. But if we talking about past mayors, may I remind you of Bill de Blasio?
(Actually, he's right. Lightfoot is worse.)
Joe Pags Pagliarulo has a top-rated radio show. But he doesn't know pizza. Obviously.
Stick to radio, Joe.
The real annoying people, however, are those who tweet at me "New Haven pizza" is better than both. That wasn't the debate, guys.
And who wants to go to New Haven?
There are also people afraid to give a take in the debate. Fox News personality Lisa Boothe, one of my favorite people in media, and one of the most talented, told me "I just like all pizza."
Will Cain producer Patrick Hatten was too worried about his perception when asked to weigh in: "No comment," said Patrick.
With that said, we ask you to vote: