CBS Golf's Amanda Balionis Let's Her Hair Down, Carrie Underwood Sends Message To The Libs & Pitino Vs. Boobs

Well, here we are. The final full week of March. Seven days from now, 2025 will be 25% over. I think … right? Does that math check out? 

If it does – it's scary. But, not too scary. Let's be honest, the yearly calendar is one of the few things in life that gets better with age. Each quarter is better than the last. The worst part of the year is nearly done. 

We're on to Q2. Let's ride. 

Welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we work in some R&R with CBS golf girl Amanda Balionis with Augusta right around the corner, and go from there. 

What else? I've got the best of the rest from a big weekend of #content, Elon trying not to stare at Karoline Leavitt's leather ass, Carrie Underwood checks in, we take a hard look into Beth Mowins' buzzer-beating call last night, and I think I despise Dan Hurley. This dude is the WORST. 

I know I'm late to the party on this one – mainly because I don't watch basketball (and this weekend once again proved why) – but my God … this dude is a total nutjob. He lives in fantasy land. It's insane. 

OK, grab you a cocktail for National Cocktail Day – that one works perfectly for this class! – and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!

This is why I stopped watching basketball

I don't like starting a new week by shitting on March Madness, because I do love this tournament. It's fun. It breathes life into an otherwise lifeless part of the year (see above). It gives me a reason to gamble again. 

But this weekend sucked. Let's just call a spade a spade here. It was a dud. Last night's Maryland walk-off saved it – more on that in a minute – but otherwise? Eh. 

For me, the most intriguing game of the weekend was St. Johns-Arkansas on Saturday. I made it a point to have my ass on the back deck for that game. Made sure to perfectly time my kids' naps to sync up with tip-off, and then halftime. 

And it really tried to deliver, especially in the second half. It tried to be fun, and entertaining, and worth the hype … but I just couldn't ever get into it. And you know why? 

Because there was a foul on literally every single possession over the final 15 minutes. Every single one. There were just constant whistles, and most of them were awful calls. 

And then it hit me – this is why I can't do basketball. It's just awful. Frankly, the NFL is well on its way to joining them after last season. It's just a ref-show. That's all it is. How the hell can you build any momentum when every single possession ends in free throws? 

What a weekend of #content!

Yeah, I mean – it was just horrible. I'm glad I wasn't alone. It just wasn't a great weekend of March Madness. Frankly, it may have been the worst I can remember. 

Has the transfer portal/NIL just completely ruined the Cinderella? Feel like that may be what's going on here. Between that, and the refs, it wasn't a great showing. 

Well, and Beth Mowins …

Let's get to the #content!

Insufferable Danny Hurley, Amanda hits the refresh button & Trump's new portrait!

Another undefeated weekend of #content. Ending Q1 on a strong note. Well done, internet. Some thoughts …

1. I know Beth Mowins is generally terrible at announcing – especially when it comes to a nooner on ESPN2 in the fall – but I didn't think it was that bad. Was it an Ian Eagle or Kevin Harlan call? Come on. Of course not. But that's an awfully high bar to set.

2. The chick behind Petino? Incredible television. More exciting than anything else we saw this weekend. 

3. Anyone here watch Severance? I'd put it up against any show in the history of TV, and that includes Breaking Bad. It's worth whatever the wokes over at Apple want you to pay. 

4. This Ashton Hall morning routine literally bent over my Twitter algorithm this weekend. Just nuked it. This guy is ALL I see now. 

And I cannot get enough. He's insane. His Instagram is unbelievable. At the end of this video, he just takes a bite of a giant watermelon. Who does that?

I can't stop watching. This dude is nuts. I'm also 99% sure he's full of crap, but most influencers are. And how about the Saratoga obsession? What's that all about? 

And here's the best part – he was a college football player back in the day and STUNK!

I've never seen an ascension to internet glory quite like this one. It just came out of nowhere, and it's now all I see on Twitter. Saratoga water sales are through the roof today. So is the stock price. It's amazing how you can become internet-famous in 2025. Incredible. 

Good for Ashton. Tape on the mouth while you sleep. Banana peel to the face. Head dunked into giant bowl of water 14 times a day. Two minutes of journaling. Rinse, wash and repeat. Let's get rich, kids!

Take notes, losers. 

OK, rapid-fire time because that was a longer rant than I originally planned, but Ashton deserved it. First up? Like I said at the jump, this Dan Hurley is insufferable:

Good God. Unlike Ashton's rise to glory, THIS is such a predictable career-arc. I've seen it a hundred times. 

- Lead team to championship in record-breaking fashion

- Appeal to majority of fans along the way because you're quirky, but different, and we like that

- Have a bunch of weird kinks about you, but it's OK, because you're winning

- Win championships, and immediately get shoved down our throats

- Forget who you are, what got you here, and why people liked you in the first place

- Head can no longer fit through door

- Become insufferable, and entire world roots against you

It's the Patrick Mahomes theory. Or, to a lesser extent, the Tom Brady/Belichick one from the mid-2000s. Brady and Belichick were HATED during their run – as was "The Patriot Way" – but then Tom left and instantly became likable again. Same is happening with Bill right now. 

I assume Dan will become likable again. But goodness, he is intolerable right now. Complaining about the refs – right or wrong – when you've won 470 straight tournament games is insane behavior. 

Next? How's Trump's new portrait looking? Any thoughts on this bad boy?

He's a fat lesbian. Let's just call it as we see it, right? This is Nightcaps – we don't sugar-coat around here. We don't bullshit. 

That picture of Donald J. Trump looks like a fat lesbian. I just don't know how else to describe it. 

"The artist also did President Obama, and he looks wonderful" is lowkey hilarious. Love that Trump has time to break this down while tariffing the shit out of the rest of the country. #MyPresident. 

Finally, let's all hit the refresh button to start the week with CBS golf girl, Amanda Balionis. The Masters is in three weeks, you know!

Carrie Underwood shows Libs how it's done

T-minus 17 days till Round 1 of The Masters. First tourney of the year where all the big, bad LIV guys are back in town. Cannot wait. Let's make some #content, Amanda!

OK, that's it for today. SOLID start to the week. Let's finish the month strong. 

Show those disgusting, Tesla-hating Libs how it's done, Carrie!

See you Wednesday. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Did Ashton take over your Twitter this weekend? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.