Catholic Priest Dropped Over $40K On Games Like Candy Crush And Slot Machines

A Catholic priest is in trouble for allegedly dropping tens of thousands of stolen church funds on in-app purchases for games like Candy Crush and Pokémon GO.

According to CBS News, it happened in Pottstown, Pennsylvania — not to be confused with Pottsville, Pennsylvania (I grew up in that part of the country and still get them mixed up to this day) — where a criminal complaint and affidavit of probable cause allege that the former pastor of St. Thomas More Parish, Lawrence Kozak, used a credit card associated with the parish to charge $44,000 worth of purchases.

These purchases — some 2,000 — are alleged to have been associated with his Apple ID and made between September 2019 to June 2022.

However, the $44,000 was just part of the $214,000 Kozak reportedly dropped on games and slot machines over that time.

Look, I've played some Candy Crush back in the day. A little Mario Kart and Pokemon GO too. They're designed to frustrate you to the point that you say, "Dammit! Here's $2.99 to let me go to the next level!

If that happens hundreds or even thousands of times, it certainly adds up.

By the way, I was at the grocery store recently and walked past the big rack of gift cards where I realized that they sell Candy Crush gift cards. Who likes Candy Crush so much that their friends and family would skip useful gift cards to stores or restaurants in favor of that?

Not someone I would want to be friends with; that, I can assure you.

A Pennsylvania priest is accused of charging tens of thousands of dollars to a church credit card on games like Candy Crush. (Photo by Didem Mente/Anadolu via Getty Images)

The Priest Is Accused Of Gambling — I Mean, ‘Powering Up’ — Slot Machines

But it wasn't just games that Kozak is alleged to have blown church funds on, he's also accused of playing virtual slot machines. Which is weird, because they have real slot machines at casinos across the Keystone State. However, he told investigators that money wasn't being used to gamble but was instead for "powering up."

Imagine spending so much on these games (again, allegedly) that you have to say that to the police.

"Nah, guys it's cool. I was just powering up."

Kozak is also accused of using the parish card to buy gifts for his niece, including an Amazon Fire tablet and a chemistry set. He reportedly paid $10,000 on the card through an account that does not belong to the church.

"I am so sorry that I made this mistake which has been any source of stress for you. I have been paying the Credit Card since April when this all started," Kozak wrote in a letter to the Parrish's new priest, which was also accompanied by an $8,000 check. "Thank you for your patience!"

It seems like he knows he messed up (once more; allegedly) and is trying to make things right.

Hopefully, the next step is kicking that Candy Crush habit.