Canada's Famous Boob Flasher Shows Off Her Rack After The Big Win, MAGA Hats Infiltrate ESPN & RIP Hooters!
Well, I guess we're the 11th province now. Sad. But, fair is fair and a deal's a deal. USA wins, Canada becomes the 51st state. Canada wins, we're something called a province.
Patriots don't go back on a bet, so we have to take this one on the chin and face the music. Let's lose with some class and get it over with, eh?
Trudeau wins this round. It's OK to say it. At least we all had a reason to feel ALIVE for a few hours on a Thursday night in February. Frankly, it's all we could ask for. Good game, fellas. See you at the Olympics.
Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where we check back in with the viral Edmonton boob flasher from last summer for obvious reasons, and go from there.
What else? I've finally made my coffee-maker decision after a ton of thought and deliberation, so we'll pull back the curtain on my selection here in a bit.
I've also got the best of the rest from a big week of #content, MAGA hats taking over TD Garden, ESPN continuing to be just the WORST & MLB's Ariel Epstein shedding her work clothes for some comfy spring training attire.
As I bitterly said last night, it's baseball season anyway!
Grab you a boiled peanut for National Boiled Peanut Day – an underrated gas station snack, BTW – and settle in for a Friday 'Cap!
What a night, but does it come with a caveat?
LOVE a good boiled peanut, especially the Cajun ones. The best. Nobody ever talks about them, but, somehow, they've managed to survive this long at literally every gas station in America.
Condoms, tobacco, scratch-offs and boiled peanuts. Those are the four things you can bet your bottom dollar you'll find at any gas station across this great country.
Doesn't matter if it's a brand-new Buc-ee's or a rundown Circle-K in a shady neighborhood with bars on the window, At the very least, you know you're walking out with one of those four items. And for some of you hardcore animals out there, you're walking out with all four!
Now, let's get down to business …
Where do we stand on last night's game – and the tournament as a whole? The NHL is being universally praised today for being the one league that actually made an All-Star week fun, and I agree. This tournament was a slam-dunk. Lord knows the NBA could take notes.
That being said, I do wonder if last night's game has the same appeal if we weren't on the brink of a major trade war with Canada?
Here's my point: the First Lady walked in last night before dinner and asked if we were watching the hockey game. True story.
I can assure you, that's the first time she has ever uttered that sentence in her life. Might be the first time I've ever heard her say the word hockey.
I'm quite sure that doesn't happen if Canada doesn't boo our anthem. And, I'm quite sure that doesn't happen if Trump hadn't just spent the past four months bending Justin Trudeau over like the crybaby Lib he truly is.
I'd imagine there were a ton of folks who watched last night for that very reason. So, would this same tournament have had the same eyeballs if the term "tariff" wasn't recently introduced to all of our vocabularies? I doubt it.
Not saying it wasn't great – it was – but remember, we zig while others zag around here. We're deep thinkers, you know! We take this stuff SERIOUSLY.
Exhibit A:
What a week of #content!
I mean, if that doesn't make you love this freaking country, I don't know what will. We may have lost on the ice, but buddy, we won in the stands.
Speaking of … let's get to the best #content from a surprisingly loaded week for the middle of February. First up? What great product placement for MAGA hats!
They need all the help they can get, you know:
Woke ESPN, unwoke Ariel & coffee time!
What a week! Few thoughts ..
1. SOLID Waffle House brawl. 8/10. You know where that doesn't happen? Cracker Barrel. We respect the vets around here.
2. Paige saving Hooters? I'm all in.
3. The Yankees finally allowing their players to grow beards in 2025? What a concept. It's almost like not winning a World Series in nearly 20 years had nothing to do with dumbass policies.
My high school team had the same policy, and I can assure you it didn't matter. We still lost in the first round of the playoffs every year.
Now, to be fair, my DIII college coach didn't care, and we won five games in four years. So, you know, it goes both ways, I reckon. He was also an idiot, though.
4. That last one? Partially true. Yes, ESPN and MLB are parting ways after this year. No, college baseball is not replacing Sunday Night Baseball, as far as I know. Would be a great idea, though.
I am, however, going to use it as a jumping off point for our rapid-fire portion of class:
Yeah, piss off, ESPN. They stopped caring about baseball years ago. Frankly, it started to die when those two were kicked off our screens back in 2010.
I don't blame MLB one bit for cutting bait. ESPN hates baseball. They NEVER talk about baseball. Baseball is literally on for seven months out of the year, and you'd never know it by watching ESPN.
They pay for it … and then ignore it. Typical Liberal behavior.
I have no idea where MLB goes from here – some sort of combination of MLB Network, FS1 and Apple TV, perhaps? – but I don't care. Let ESPN ride the NBA wave. Go ahead, dummies. Die on that hill. Good luck!
Next? Spring training started yesterday, and MLB's Ariel Epstein is ready for a big season – unlike woke ESPN!
You wanna bring eyeballs back to the color TV? Give us more Ariel, and less Jeff Passan! She's ready for a big season, and so is Nightcaps. Red Sox vs. Northeastern this afternoon from JetBlue. Can't wait.
Finally … let's put an end, finally, to the three-day coffee-maker crisis – once and for all!
I've decided that I'm bringing my talents to … #TeamPercolator!
Take us home, Edmonton flasher!
I got about 20 emails over the course of two days over my coffee-maker crisis, and the results were all over the map. I will say, the most popular suggestion was the Chemex. I bet five different folks vouched for this bad boy, which I hadn't heard of until this week:
That one came courtesy of Justin from Illinois, who chimed in this morning right at the buzzer:
I've been through every coffee maker – drip/percolator/french press. Chemex is essentially a pour over. Grab an electric kettle to boil the water, pour over the fresh ground beans and boom. Best coffee you may ever taste. I drink my coffee black and have for nearly 25 years.
Here's my thing – I'd love that thing. I would. But, I'm just not in the right time of life for it right now. I've got two kids. I pump out #blogs and #Nightcaps all day, but I try to get a bunch of it out of the way in the morning before anyone wakes up. It's a race to the start, really, and one that I NEED to win.
Every minute counts at my house, and I just don't have the time for that. I wish I did – and I may get one to play with on the weekend – but I don't.
So, I went with the percolator I shared above because A) it came highly recommended (thanks, Dan in Arizona!) and B) it's a changeup from the same drip coffee I've used for a decade now.
I've always wanted to dabble in the perc game, and this is my chance. Plus, it's stainless steel, so the First Lady is happy because she tells me it won't give me cancer. Win-win!
Anyway, it'll be here tomorrow morning. Can't wait to see where this rollercoaster takes my family. Don't know how I'll sleep tonight.
OK, thanks for a big week. LOVED the energy from everyone this week. Let's keep it up this weekend.
Take us home, Edmonton boob flasher Kait Flynn! She started circulating the internet for obvious reasons last night as Canada ripped our hearts out, and it turns out she's capitalized quite nicely on her fame from last summer.
See you Monday.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Did I make the right coffee choice? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.