Bud Light Sucked Before Dylan, Aileen Hnatiuk With Erin Andrews, Viral Ohio Bus Driver Is Rich, Southern Girl Turns On Entire Bar
It's the opening Thursday at The Masters, sweaty Tiger Woods was on the course looking like he just went for a swim on 16, and everyone is finally realizing Bud Light is a garbage beer.
Not Busch Light. Bud Light. It's a sticky subject right now, but I'll toe the line best I can.
Bottom line: Life, boys and girls, is goooooooooood. And that's before I saw Aileen Hnatiuk rep the LSU women's basketball team in a perfectly executed collab!
What a day. What a way to start the post-hump day portion of our week.
Let's see, how else are we gonna kill some time between Masters commercials? You wanna watch a video of a gator eating a python? We got it!
Interested in a southern belle turning on an entire bar by playing opossum? Fine. We have that, too!
Oh, you wanna talk about how the Simpsons predicted the Trump arrest AND the Barbie movie 29 years ago, appreciate Luke Combs going fast AND listen to me rail on how terrible Bud Light is?
Check, check and check!
Grab a beer -- fine, it can be Miller Lite if you really want to punish all of Anheuser-Busch -- get comfy for your Day 1 Masters nap, and do some light reading before hitting that first REM cycle.
Nightcaps is going LOW today, baby!
Bud Light defends Dylan Mulvaney collaboration. (Credit: Instagram and Twitter)
Bud Light was gross way before Dylan Mulvaney
All right, let's go ahead and tackle the transgender elephant in the room.
No -- I'm not gonna rehash everything that's already happened. It's just not for this column. Obviously the world is insane right now, but we already knew that. Nothing surprises me anymore, not even a girl who's actually a boy being plastered on my beer.
That's just another day in today's US of A. Sad, but it is what it is.
I'm here to point out the obvious -- if THIS is what made you finally stop drinking Bud Light, shame on you.
Bud Light STINKS. It's a garbage beer that tastes like water, and that's actually insulting water, because I happen to enjoy a nice glass of H20 every now and then. It also keeps me alive, so there's that.
I've never understood why Bud Light was the go-to beer, or when it happened or why it happened. It's not good. It's never been good.
You know what's better? Miller Light. Way better. Not even close.
Corona Light is better. Yuengling is better. Coors Light is better (not by much, but it is).
Obviously, Mic Ultra and Busch Light are both lightyears better than all of those above beers with Miller Lite being the exception, but those two are under the Anheuser-Busch umbrella, so I understand if you want to punish them right now. That's your call.
I'm clearly not not drinking Busch Light. Not yet, at least. As of today, I don't group them in with the idiots over at Bud Light just yet. If they're smart, they'll stay as far away from this as humanely possible.
Same building -- different floors. That's how I look at it. At least that's how I get through the day.
*on thin ice.
PS: how about Nightcaps author Amber Harding with this tweet yesterday after Nike joined Bud Light in the world of crazy? Electric.
Aileen Hnatiuk teams up with Erin Andrews
OK -- let's get back on track.
Before Bud Light stole the news cycle, all the talk centered around Angel Reese and LSU. I hit on it in Monday's Nightcaps, so feel free to take a peak.
Anyway, Reese and the girls returned home to a heroes welcome Tuesday, and our girl Aileen Hnatiuk was on hand to take in the big day.
Hnatiuk, as you probably know by now, has become a star in the media world after going viral with this heater of a post after football season:
That puppy went bonkers viral when NFL fans realized the talent they had on their hands, and Aileen's taken off like a rocket ship ever since.
Her latest beat has centered around all things LSU sports. She was at the football team's Pro Day last week, and then on hand for the women's parade earlier this week.
And, right on cue, it appears Erin Andrews -- and absolute legend of the game -- has decided to bring Aileen aboard her clothing company (WEAR, by Erin Andrews) in the wake of the Tigers' win last weekend.
Simpsons predicated Trump arrest years ago
Unreal collaboration there. The NFL media world is in an unbelievable spot right now and in excellent hands moving forward.
Speaking of good hands -- how about the Simpsons absolutely pummeling the cartoon-TV world for the past three decades? I'll be honest with you, I'm more of a Family Guy guy, but you have to tip your cap to the greats, and the Simpsons paved the way.
Frankly, the only time I really ever watch any Simpsons stuff is when social media sleuths point out accurate predictions the show made decades ago. And, right on cue ...
Two birds, one stone! What a flex here by The Simpsons. How do they do it?
Admittedly, the Barbie reference here is a bit of a stretch, but you can't really nit-pick too much at this point. Simpsons creator Matt Groening did it again. When you're hot, you're hot.
Fine. Here's the Barbie trailer only because we're very much pro-Margot Robbie here.
Here's how to get the juices flowing in the south
Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie? That movie is gonna recreate the Summer of Love around the world. Spicy.
Speaking of oozing sex -- how about this southern heartthrob taking care of the boys down in Texas?
Goodness gracious -- I'm in love. You know where they ain't drinking Bud Lights anymore? Banita Creek Hall. Our girl here ain't allowing it.
A+ commentary throughout, too.
That's a f--king opossum!
What a badass!
Can I get a picture of you with it?
#MyPeople.
Speaking of wild animals doing wild animal things in the south, let's head down to the great, big, beautiful, free, hot as hell state of Florida.
Seriously, it's like 94 here today. It ain't a cool 94, either.
Anyway, this is what the heat does to our pets.
Remember that legendary Ohio bus driver? She's now rich
OK, time for me to get out of here because Tiger just left another putt short at Augusta and my computer's about to go through the window.
Let's end with Luke Combs and the old bus driver who went bananas on her kids last week. No, the two ain't related.
OutKick was all over this late last week, so I'd suggest reading Joe's breakdown when you get a second. For the thousands that did read it -- yes, I saw the analytics on it and it did WELL -- here's a quick refresher.
Maybe one of the greatest rants of all time -- if not the greatest. Incredible. This line makes me laugh out loud every single time:
Do you hear me? My foot’s gonna be so far up your g*ddamn a** it’s gonna dangle at your g*ddamn nose. I’m done with you. That phone in your bag now, give it to me.
It's perfection.
Anyway, that little tirade got Jackie Miller the boot (she resigned, but we all know what happened), and that specific line was so legendary a local t-shirt company started printing shirts. Brilliant move.
The proceeds all go to Jackie so she can retire and, as of this writing, it's already up over $60,000.
What a comeback! Get yours today!
Luke Combs takes us home
If you don't immediately pounce on that, I don't know what to tell you. This ain't the column for you. #TeamJackie all day.
Finally ... bet you didn't know that Luke Combs' cover of Fast Car debuted on the Billboard Hot 100 at No. 44 this week. Actually, bet you didn't know Sir Luke had that cover in his bag at all, did you?
Well, he does, and I heard him first sing it years ago -- I think it was from a viral Facebook post of his? Anyway, the second I heard it I knew it would be a massive hit if he ever actually did it, and lo and behold it's already well on it's way.
It's worth the four minutes during this commercial break. Trust me.
Can't think of a better way to dive into a Thursday night.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Think my Bud Light ban needs to include Busch Light? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.