Bud Light, Dylan Mulvaney Force Daydrinkers To Find New Summertime Beer | Mary Katharine Ham
I have a confession. My summer libation has met with calamity. I have been for many summers now a Bud Light Lime girl. Long past my Hot Girl Summers, I am solidly in my Attempt To Remain Responsible While Lightly Daydrinking Summer era.
Due to the Dylan Mulvaney debacle, my easy day-drinking beer by the water has now become an invitation to discuss culture-war politics. That is the opposite of what an artificially lime-flavored light beer should do. So, I have decided to expand my barleyed-and-hopped horizons, searching the market far and wide for another light and perhaps fruity new option.
Because we live in a prosperous, capitalist society, what I mean by “searching the market far and wide” is that I drove 7 minutes to my local Total Wine at 9 a.m. and bought roughly 12 different kinds of weird summer beers and bevs within 20 minutes.
Why 9 a.m.? Well, how does one evaluate day drinking vacay beer unless one tries them at an at-least slightly inappropriate hour. I was planning for around 11, with my friend Vic Matus, with whom I host my podcast, “Getting Hammered.” He also wrote an entire book on vodka, so he can be trusted on such matters.
Forthwith, then, our assessment of the options for Summer 2023, starting with the tops.
Leinenkugel Juicy Peach
This Coors-owned beer retains the Midwestern nice of its Wisconsin origins with a subtle, great flavor to match the idyllic lake scene on its label.
Light enough for daydrinking, interesting enough to add variety to my summer libations, and chill enough to have several without succumbing to flavor overload.
Verdict: I declare this my new beer of the summer.
Golden Road Mango Cart Wheat Ale
I mixed it up with some more crafty beers so I was getting a true snapshot of the fruit beer landscape. Brewed in Los Angeles and/or St. Louis, this promises a “perfectly balanced wheat ale with real mango,” and I gotta say it delivered. If you don’t like a wheaty beer, this won’t be your thing. It has a very unfiltered, Hoegaarden-y flavor, particularly in the aftertaste.
It is, dare I say, complex. I felt a little sophisticated drinking this beer. I will say when I revisited it after a few minutes, it seemed sweeter than at first blush, so I'm going to do what I do best with beer— keep trying it!
Verdict: Pretty dang good.
Sunny D Vodka Seltzer
A Millennial nostalgia pick if there ever was one, and there it was displayed at the very front of the store and, sure enough, I could not resist purchasing.
This calls for a new version of the 90s commercial, with moderately out-of-shape 40-somethings coming into their childhood kitchens and rummaging through the fridge through “OJ, purple stuff, White Claw,” and finding the Sunny D vodka seltzer of their grown-up dreams. “Thanks, Mom!”
Verdict: Very strong flavor, Zima vibes, it is placed here almost entirely for nostalgia, but your Millennial guests will appreciate seeing it in the cooler so much, it’s worth it. (Also, zero sugar, but with an artificial sugar finish.)
Shipwreck Melon Wheat
This beer originates at a Portland, Maine brewery.
The nose is strong, but the flavor is not. This is my preferred combo for a fruity beer with nose providing the fruit essence while the beer does not punch you in the face.
It’s very dry, almost no sweetness except in the scent.
Verdict: Would definitely drink, but wouldn’t seek it out as a fave. Worth a try.
Busch Light Peach
Anheuser-Busch offers this summery twist on one of your undergrad faves. Hailed as the “taste of summer 2023,” peach is everywhere.
And it’s definitely everywhere in this beer. The nose is notable here because it smells exactly like a bag of gummy peaches. As my friend Vic put it, no matter how much flavor there is on the front end, the finish is still pure Busch Light. Your mileage may vary on that.
Verdict: I’m a nope. Too much extra flavor on top of the original flavor, which is also a nope from me.
Modelo Cheladas
Having just surged into the No. 1 beer ranking in America thanks to Bud Light’s self-inflicted stumble, Modelo might have gotten a little cocky with its summer Chelada variety pack. It includes four flavors, which I will dutifully translate for you here with the help of the Internet and my rudimentary Spanish: Spicy Orange; Mango and Chili; Lime and Salt; Spicy Pineapple.
Modelo does not offer this translation service, posing an interesting option for adventure-seeking drinkers: Don’t Google, just drink!
Here’s the thing. These flavors are A LOT. A Chelada is traditionally a light, Mexican light beer with salt and lime added. (This is different from the Michelada, which is more of a Bloody Mary, but with beer as your alcohol, and fantastic.)
Modelo’s version of pre-prepped Cheladas come with a strong nose and heavy-handed flavor.
Verdict: More of a canned cocktail than a beer, I’d make my own Chelada at home.
Samuel Adams Epic Squeeze
I enjoy a Sam Adams Summer Ale. Perhaps these are comparable, I thought. Narrator: They were not comparable.
The Epic Squeeze variety pack promises “crisp, refreshing, fruit-flavored beer,” in Mango, Berry, Citrus, and Tropical flavors.
Now, this is a bit of a red flag for me. Whenever a specific fruit is not designated, you are generally in for a riot of artificial flavors. That is the case for Berry and Tropical, here. Tropical, in particular, has a strong coconut note, which even as a coconut fan, tasted like a Hawaiian Tropic spritz.
Verdict: Too much flavor, too little beer. Stick to Summer Ale.
An Omission
I should have tried to include some sour beers on this list, but hey, I had 20 minutes at Total Wine and I did my best.
As we always say on “Getting Hammered,” thank you for getting hammered responsibly. I hope this helps your dockside cocktail-sipping game this summer.