Britney Spears Can’t Stop Dancing In Next To Nothing
Oops, she did it again. Her words, not mine. Yep, Britney Spears is again dancing in less clothes than I wear to bed. And fortunately for the Britney Army, she’s doing so on Instagram for her 42 million followers to see.
The former Mrs. Federline started her latest dance revolution on Wednesday, equipped with little more than a tiny pink bikini bottom, a black hat, black boots, and a gun holster of a white top. She paired the outfit with some tunes and the type of dance moves that resemble an equal mix of erotica and, well, crystal meth.
And Britney sure looked like she was enjoying herself.
One day later, she set the iPod to Live’s Lightning Crashes, let the hips loose and captioned her IG video: "Feel it coming back again !!! I want pancakes"
Girl, who doesn’t?
Spears followed up her hotcake craving with some more sweet moves, this time to Kings of Leon’s Sex on Fire. The only difference between her performances from the days prior and this breakfast-craving banger? Britney ditched the hat and swapped the gun holster top for a white number that could easily be confused for Jerry Seinfeld’s puffy shirt – assuming the puffy shirt stopped immediately below the chest and opened like a Honda's sunroof.
The video stopped us from scrolling but didn’t keep Spears from dancing in front of the camera nearly naked. On Friday, she kept right along two-stepping, this time trading black boots for white, which gave her the impression she’d shrunk in more ways than one.
Britney Spears spent the better part of the week dancing for the camera. (Photo by Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images)
"Weird wearing white usually makes people look bigger !!! I look like I drop 5 sizes and shorter when I wear white !!! Useless information but I think it’s odd !!! Maybe white is my color," Spears captioned her Friday post, which has been liked more than 60,000 times.
Remind me to wear more white.
Britney Spears Kept Dancing Day After Day
Just before Friday turned to Saturday, Britney was at it again. Seinfeld blouse: check. Pink bottoms that are barely bigger than one of my socks: check. White boots: you betcha. All that was missing from this party was a case of PBR, Foghat pumping from the Bose, and a couple of bad decisions.
Britney's barely-clothed dance party started Wednesday, three weeks after insisting we say hello to her ass, and continued through Friday evening. Now that the weekend's upon us, it's probably a safe bet we'll see plenty more dancing. Oh, and pancakes too.
Follow along on X: @OhioAF