British Zoo Has Some Parrots Who Swear Like Sailors And Needs To Have A Plan To Get Them To Stop
A zoo in the UK has a problem with some profanity-tossing parrots and it's going to take more than a swear jar to get it to stop.
Although, zoo officials do have a plan to soften the birds' language... just not a very good one.
Lincolnshire Wildlife Park has a grand total of eight African gray parrots that can cuss like they're reading a Tarantino script. In 2020, they tried to isolate five of them from the flock to see if that would get them to stop swearing.
It didn't.
“When we came to move them, the language that came out of their carrying boxes was phenomenal, really bad. Not normal swear words, these were proper expletives,” Steve Nichols, the park's chief executive, told CNN.
So, the zoo has three new four-letter word-loving birds: Eric, Captain, and Sheila. They're going to try the opposite approach to try to curb their swearing habits: integrating them into the flock.
The thought is that the other 92 birds that make up the flock will influence the three R-rated birds into becoming a little more G-rated. Nichols said they could teach the three ne'er-do-wells “all the nice noises like microwaves and vehicles reversing.”
Actually, I think I'd take the swearing over microwaves and backup beeps.
Aren't Swearing Parrots Sort Of What The Public Wants?
Of course, the plan could backfire and they could wind up with 92 more birds that can't help but toss around expletives.
I feel their pain. Laying off the swear words is a tough habit to break. It would probably be easier to teach these birds how to smoke cigarettes and get them to quit.
Still, God love them for trying.
The zoo already has a sign in place warning visitors that their language can get a little salty, however, Nichols said no one has ever complained.
So, what's the problem then? The swearing is a selling point!
Who wouldn't round up some buddies, have a couple of pints, and then go listen to some surly parrots drop some of the foulest (fowlest?) language you've ever heard?
I know I would, and so would you.
The public has had about enough of that "Polly want a cracker" nonsense. They want edge, they want grit, and they want to be called the C-word by a bird.
Give them what they want.
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