Breckie Hill Is A Switch Hitter, Mallory Edens Ditches Aaron Rodgers, Bud Light Clearance Sale, Emerson College Helps Men Menstruate
April showers will bring May flowers, they say, and guess what? After a miserable weekend of rain, wind, hail, tornadoes -- you name it -- we have Sunshine and Summertime (shoutout to Queen Faith Hill) across the US of A today. We also have some serious storm clouds brewing for Olivia Dunne clone Breckie Hill, but we'll get to that firecracker in a bit.
Welcome to a new month -- an underrated month, if we're being honest -- and to month No. 3 of Nightcaps. We started way back in the awful month of February (by far the worst of the year), and here we are -- on the brink of summer.
Love May. You start with the Kentucky Derby and Cinco De Mayo, and end with Memorial Day weekend. After that, it's officially summer, which means the sun stays hot till around 8:30 and the shenanigans have no true bed time.
You slug beers all day every day -- Bud Light's on sale over at Costco! -- and French kiss whoever the hell you want. And hey, Breckie Hill is already way ahead of us!
Let's see, what else do we have on tap for today? Aaron Rodgers showing up courtside in New York without alleged lover Mallory Edens? Yep. Got that.
My alma mater -- Emerson College -- embarrassing me yet again with their virtue-signaling and box-checking? Oh hell yeah, you know I have that. Idiots.
Speaking of virtue-signaling, should we check in with Bud Light? Sure, why not?! There's a Costco out there just BEGGING you take a couple cases.
I've got a couple other things lined up that I'll most likely forget about by the time I finish this, so let's just dive in head first before the Bruins choke away another game.
Olivia Dunne rival Breckie Hill has gone nuts
I know I've been hammering away at this for a week now, and I promise I wasn't going to mention these two in today's Nightcaps. I respect a good balancing act.
But Breckie has gone bananas since Olivia Dunne signed with Sports Illustrated, and I have no other choice but to believe the two are somehow related.
Over the weekend, TikTok's Olivia Dunne with cannons not only teased a couple NSFW shower pics, but then fired off this fastball late Saturday.
Goodness gracious. We're teetering here, I'm afraid, on good crazy and bad crazy. There was a great episode of How I Met Your Mother back in the day where Barney talks about the Crazy Eyes, and I feel like we're getting close to that with Breckie Hill.
While Olivia Dunne is off taking her game to the next level with Sports Illustrated and following the Paige Spiranac influencer career arc, Breckie is giving off Lindsay Lohan/Britney Spears vibes.
Sort of feels like the way Trump lost in 2020 -- or, better yet, the way Biden won. Just let your opponent self-destruct on their own while you just keep your head down and mouth shut.
Side note: it's what Ron DeSantis is doing right now but we're not going political today. Not on the first day of May.
Anyway, what do we think? Does Breckie Hill come off as desperate or are you digging this new bad girl mantra?
PS: what the hell is this video? Olivia Dunne is a gymnast. Pretty sure she could manage the split.
Aaron Rodgers goes Knicks game without Mallory Edens
I don't know -- maybe Breckie is just the perfect amount of crazy? We love a good wild card in this country, and Breckie Hill may be the wild card to give top seed Olivia Dunne a run for her money in the influencer game.
Bet you anything she'd vibe with Aaron Rodgers, too. That guy is a looney tune in his own way, and now he's taking his talents to NYC.
And, of course, you can't sign with a New York sports team without showing up courtside at MSG -- I think it's in the contract at this point.
Aaron Rodgers shows up to Knicks game Mallory Edens-less. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
Looks like Aaron had a great time, too. What do we got working there? A little rum and coke under the seat? I know that ain't a sweet tea.
Anyway, the obvious thing we do here in the #content game when we see a picture like this is immediately scan the crowd -- and, nope, don't see Mallory Edens anywhere.
If you recall, the last time Aaron Rodgers showed up courtside to a game was last December, when he enjoyed a little Milwaukee Bucks action with Mallory.
Definitely two different crowds, and the everyone and their mother noticed.
Luckily, yours truly was ahead of the trend last week and told you that rumors were swirling that Aaron and Mallory were facing some headwinds, even after allegedly making out like teenagers at Mallory's birthday bash last month.
I don't feel like rehashing it, so I invite you to brush up on the details here.
Anyway, looks like Mallory RSVP'd No to the Knicks game because she was out partying with fellow model Moa Aberg according to her Instagram story.
Do with that information what you wish.
Bruins collapse in epic fashion, but was it as bad as the Hindenburg?
While Aaron and not-Mallory were busy watching one Florida team steal one on the road, another Sunshine State squad was handling business over in Boston.
I don't care if you don't like hockey -- Game 7s in the Stanley Cup playoffs are insane. Instant adrenaline rush. Some people say it's like doing cocaine. I wouldn't know. But if doing coke feels like what I felt last night, I may have to dabble.
Just kidding. Relax.
Anyway, the Panthers stunned the fraudulent Bruins IN BOSTON last night, and it was awesome. From start to finish, it was just an insane hockey game.
And for those of you reading this who survived the Hindenburg disaster back in 1937, you probably felt a little nostalgic last night!
Hilarious. Jack Edwards is great, and the pure shock from TD Garden last night was amazing. I used to be a Bruins fan when I lived up there for a few years, but all the COVID stuff turned me off so much from all the lunatics in the northeast I can't root for them anymore.
Couple that with the fact that they lost to a Florida team, and it was the perfect ending. Obviously the same can't be said for the Hindenburg, but it is what it is.
And, speaking of stunning comeback stories ...
Emerson College makes sure the college boys have tampons
From the Post:
Disgraced film director Roman Polanski posed for a smiling photo with Samantha Geimer — more than 45 years after he drugged and raped her when she was just 13.
A grinning Geimer, now 60, draped her left arm around the gray-haired director in what is believed to be their first reunion since the “Chinatown” filmmaker abused her in 1977. Polanski was 43 years old at the time.
It is unclear exactly when the snap was taken but the forgiving victim shared the image to her private Instagram account just after the publication of her interview with France’s Le Point magazine — in which she insisted the 89-year-old had “paid his debt to society.”
Yeah -- I ain't touching that one. We're not canceling Nightcaps on our three-month anniversary!
I do feel sure, however, that I've been very much canceled by my alma mater, Emerson College. Something tells me our current worldly views don't align.
A Change.org petition started by the group Emerson Flows in April 2022 called for the change to take place before presenting the approximately 400 signatures the push had amassed to Vice President of Student Life Jim Hoppe.
"We are Emerson Flows, an advocacy and education based organization dedicated to fighting for inclusivity, menstrual equality, and the de-stigmatization of menstruation and periods," the petition reads.
Emerson Flows!
I'm so embarrassed. I'm so, so, so sorry to my family for making them give one cent to that school. That's on me.
I went to Emerson from 2012-15, played -- and starred, by the way -- on our crappy baseball team, and loved every minute of it. Met some of my best friends there, most of whom I still talk to all the time.
But this is so bad, so pathetic. so embarrassing. Men don't get periods. Stop it. I can't believe I'm writing that today, but I also can. It's just the world we live in right now -- one where we've just stopped respecting actual women.
It's hilarious how far left the left has gone. Every single woman on this planet should be furious over what's happening in society -- from Bud Light, to Nike to this current insane asylum of an institution.
I'm sorry to every single one of you. You deserve so much better.
"Emerson Flows." Hilarious.
I wouldn't last one second in that school today. Thank God.
Who wants 40-cent Bud Light?!
It wouldn't be a complete day here at OutKick without taking a dump on Bud Light, and I'll gladly keep the streak alive here.
Would a 36-rack of Bud Light for $14.97 convince you to drop your Anheuser-Busch boycott?
Tempting, huh?
Holy moly -- what a deal! 41 cents for a beer?? In THIS economy? Talk about putting your guts to the test.
You gonna give in and buy a case or three to save a few dollars, or you standing your ground and buying a couple racks of Yuengling instead?
Let's go ahead and watch the film to see what this cat chose:
Dodgeball, baseball and Kathy Ireland
Couple quickies on our way out so we can all go see if Breckie Hill's kissed anyone else during this class.
I saw this over the weekend and had to make sure it was real -- and buddy, I'm proud to report it's very, very real. And it's happening.
Incredible. Dodgeball was absolutely one of the funniest movies of my childhood, and it holds up big time today.
Vince Vaughn is criminally underrated in the comedy field, Ben Stiller is absolutely at his best here, Patches O'Houlihan is a legend and this scene still makes me laugh out loud to this day:
Such a perfect movie. Don't know how they're gonna top it, or at least not ruin it, but I'm here to find out.
Fine. Mount Rushmore of Vince Vaughn movies!
Fine, that last one is a joke. People forget Vince Vaughn was in the OG Jurassic Park. What a throwback.
I'd put Fred Claus at No. 4, but feel like you'd all judge me pretty hard for that. So, I'll put Old School there, but just know deep down I'd prefer Fred Claus.
Let's give Major League Baseball some love on our way out.
We're one month into the new season, and I'm not sure a rule change in the history of sports has been more successful than the pitch clock.
I know everyone was a little skeptical at first, but my goodness it's been amazing.
Attendance up, time-of-game down -- that, boys and girls, is called a home run.
By the way, not everything has changed, either. Yankees fans are still in absolute panic-mode over a crappy April, and Jacob deGrom still gets hurt every other start.
Oh yeah, and dads are still playing with absolute fire at the ballpark.
Dad Power at baseball games is unmatched and undefeated, even in 2023. Love it.
Here's a cool Kathy Ireland picture that for some reason came across my timeline over the weekend to take us into Tuesday.
Let's all start May with a bang.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Think Breckie Hill is too crazy to catch Olivia Dunne? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.