Bikini Congresswoman Cranks Up The Heat In Maxim, Riley Gaines' MAGA Hat Triggers The Left & Gas Station Karen
Yep, still here! I'm like Leo in Wolf of Wall Street. Ain't going anywhere, baby! Because, of course, there's still no … baby!
We are now six days past due, the First Lady got something called a prenatal massage this morning – I didn't ask, and I surely do not want to know – and I'm beginning to have serious doubts about my fantasy draft next Saturday. I thought this kid would be walking by then. Hell, he may not even be here by then at this point.
What a week.
But, we press forward. We've got DNC roll calls to make and a Hump Day to honor, so let's get to it!
Welcome to a Wednesday Nightcaps – the one where we sit back, relax, and enjoy Florida Congresswoman Anna Paulina Luna's Maxim tape together like the great Americans we are. What a treat!
What else? I've got DNC roll call footage that put my brain in a pretzel, Masters Girl Aaliyah Kikumoto is ready for a big fall after an even bigger summer, Peyton Manning topping one off the tee like a true Man of the People and Riley Gaines infuriating the libs in a MAGA hat.
Whew. What a loaded potato of a Hump Day menu! And to think, I was supposed to be on paternity leave right now. Take that, Mayor Pete!
Grab something cold and full of enough alcohol to make president Trump scold you, and then settle in for a Wednesday 'Cap!
Peyton Manning is one of us!
But seriously, did y'all see the Trump-Theo Von interview that dropped yesterday? What a podcast. In my opinion, Trump is at his absolute best when he does these real-life, genuine sit-downs with real people that other people resonate with.
I don't know much about Theo, but the First Lady loves him. Thinks he's hilarious. She won't watch a Trump rally – and I can't say that I blame her – but she'll watch 45 minutes of 45 with Theo Von. And guess what? She actually learned something along the way.
She had no idea how against drinking Trump was, and no idea why. I knew, because it's partly my job, but she had no clue. The cocaine stuff is funny, but these nine minutes, in my opinion, are the best things that Trump does and can do over these next two months.
Watch it now, watch it later, bookmark it for your next poop. I don't care. It's worth your time, though:
More of that, please. I'm begging you. The DNC is a predictable train wreck so far. Let's pounce on these guys and get in the end zone before the half!
Anyway, all of that to say … I listened to some of that while golfing yesterday, and it was a delight. Didn't think I'd get yet another round in before the second kid, but I also didn't think he'd be a billion days late. What a rollercoaster.
Decent day. Shot 91 with two triples. Had six Ultra Rights, lost four golf balls, just missed a birdie on 18 to end the day. Not bad. Not great.
Better than Peyton:
Choose your fighter!
Luckily, I did not do that yesterday. I've certainly done it before, but not so much right now. Right now, I'm dealing with a sudden slice off the tee. Been a ton of fun. Love adding that to my already shitty arsenal.
Oh well. Onward.
You know who I guarantee you pipes it 300 down the middle? Anna Paulina Luna. Our favorite Florida congresswoman continues to lean into the fact that she's a hot ex-Maxim model who is now a lawmaker in a MAGA bikini, and I, for one, am HERE for it.
One week after she smothered the internet in her Trump bathing suit, Anna returned just yesterday with a little Q&A with the fine folks over at Maxim – otherwise known as that one magazine you used to find tucked away in your dad's bathroom.
By the time she was nine years old, Luna had already survived an armed robbery. Her teen years weren’t any easier. She witnessed a fatal gang shooting at her high school and mourned the murder of her young cousin.
Luna barely graduated high school due to all the turmoil, but one night, at a party, she overheard a conversation that would change the trajectory of her life. Two guys were talking about their college education. Intrigued, Luna asked how they managed to pay for it. Their answer – the U.S. military. The next day, she joined the U.S. Air Force.
In a nation founded on the promise of opportunity for all, Luna stands as proof that the American Dream is thriving and evolving – and sometimes, it wants to sport a MAGA swimsuit.
Amen, Maxim! I'm a little confused as to why Nightcaps wasn't mentioned anywhere, seeing as we were literally the first class on the internet to break this story, but whatever. As long as Anna keeps fighting the good fight and angering the libs, I'm happy.
Speaking of the woke lefties …
Riley had a big night at the fair, gas station freak out & Saved by the Bell turns 35 today
I could watch that clip 100 times today and still not chuckle every time I see the panel's reaction. They're just sitting there, silent, getting stuffed in a locker on their own show. Hilarious.
And he's right, by the way. It's such a great point. The Democrats have literally controlled this country for 12 of the past 16 years, yet we're the problem? Yeah, OK. Whatever you say!
Rapid-fire time on this second-to-last Wednesday in August. First up? Speaking of angering the left, looks like OutKick's Riley Gaines had a big night at the Tennessee State fair last night!
Fried butter on a stick?! God, I love the south. Why in the hell would you ever live anywhere else? I couldn't imagine.
Next? Speaking of lunatics who don't live in the south …
(WARNING: headphones ON)
Remember when I said choose your fighter? This is what I mean. You wanna be on Riley and Anna's team, or you wanna be on this one?
I will say, that's some solid and I mean solllllllid shit-talk right there at the end. She was pulling out every offensive female term in the book and just lobbing them up there like grenades. Impressive. Respect where it's due.
Finally … you know where you don't hear that sort of language? On a little 90s show called Saved by the Bell, which premiered 35 years ago TODAY.
Feel old yet?
Happy birthday!
Masters Girl Aaliyah Kikumoto takes us home
Does Tiffani Thiessen still have it or what? Unreal. Kelly Kapowski was an absolute rocket ship back in the 1990s and she set the standard. Topanga Lawrence and Kelly Kapowski, and THEN everyone else.
Those were the rules then and they still are today.
PS: we had some wild Saved by the Bell episodes, huh? Jesse Spanos getting high on speed, Zack and Slater beating the crap out of each other over a girl, Leah Remini dating Zack for a weird summer arc of episodes, Bob Golic was inexplicably a main character for a season.
The best. What a show.
OK, that's it for today. Good class. Good effort, everyone.
Take us home, Aaliyah!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You with Anna or the gas station lady? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.