Bebe Rexha & Miranda Lambert Put Fans On Notice, HOA President Ruins A Kid's Day & Baking Banana Bread In Cars

A few months ago, I volunteered to be a part of the Screencaps Ragnar team.

If you're unfamiliar with a Ragnar, it's a 200-mile relay race with a 12-person team. So each person runs around 16-17 miles. And the one we're doing is in October along the Kentucky Bourbon Trail.

I thought to myself, Early October running weather is perfect. It will be beautiful!

And I wasn't wrong. However, I forgot about the fact that an October race means training in June, July and August. And y'all… SHEESH. I am feeling it. It is hotter than the devil's armpit outside, and if I don't do my training runs at 6 a.m. when it's still bearable, I'm in a world of hurt.

But just when I start to get tired, and I feel like it might be more fun to lay on my couch with a cold beverage, I remember the inspirational words of Anthony Kim…

Are we going to let a crackhead outwork us? HELL NO!

A related sidenote: Back in 2019, my niece (not a crackhead) had her first kid. She was only 18 when she had her and was kind of freaking out about the idea of being responsible for a whole human life. I went to visit her in the hospital in Birmingham, and she was having a post-partum meltdown.

I told her, "Baby, there are crackheads down the street who are raising kids right now. If they can do it, you can do it."

Later that night, my niece — having calmed down — sent me this:

I am the best aunt ever, by the way.

Five years later, my niece is a wonderful mother. And I take full credit. So if anyone would like to hire me for a motivational speaking engagement, you can email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com. (Listen, if Hawk Tuah girl is getting paid thousands to make appearances, why can't I?)

Anyway, let's beat the heat together with a cold adult beverage. Settle in. It's Nightcaps time!

Dashboard Convectional?

I was going for a cooking pun — like a convection oven. Not sure if that landed.

Anyway, as much as I'm complaining about this ungodly heat in Middle Tennessee, I try to remind myself that it could always be worse. For example, I could be in Arizona.

But it's a dry heat!

No. Shut up. I lived in Phoenix for four years. And while there's a lot of things I love about the desert, that summer heat ain't one of them. Because 120 degrees is 120 degrees, no matter how you spin it. 

Your oven is also a "dry heat," but you're probably not volunteering to pop your head in there to escape from the humidity, are you? That's what I thought.

I digress. Let's check in with the rangers at Saguaro National Park to see how they're holding up. 

Question: What makes everything better? And I do mean everything — even 110-degree heat with no source of water in sight?

BANANA BREAD, obviously. And here's handy life hack: In the dead of summer, your car doubles as an oven.

So the rangers whipped up banana bread loaves then set it on the dashboard of a car to bake. They started at 11 a.m., when the outside temp hit 97 degrees, which meant the dashboard clocked in at a toasty 163.

Fast forward to 2 p.m., and the outside and dashboard temps had reached 105 and 211 degrees, respectively — the latter being the equivalent of a "cool oven temperature."

At that point, the tops of the bread turned golden brown.

At 3 p.m., the loaves were browned on the outside but still a little squishy in the middle. The rangers ultimately concluded it might be better to use an oven for baking of this caliber. If you're just looking to whip up some cookies or fried eggs, though, your automobile will work just fine.

I bet that car smelled amazing. Way better than those little hanging trees.

Also, this feels like a good time to remind you never to leave your child, pet or passed-out-drunk friends in the car in the summertime — even if you're just going to be gone for a few minutes. You might come back and find out they turned into banana bread.

Bebe Rexha Loses It On Unruly Fan

Do not mess with Bebe Rexha.

The pop singer stopped her show recently to scold a so-called fan who was attempting to throw something at her on stage. And she ripped him a new butthole.

"If you hit me with something on the stage, I'll take you for everything you've f*cking got," she said. "Do not f*cking play with me right now... Out, get the f*ck out."

"Which one? Which one?" she yelled, looking for who threw the object. "Point to the person. I want to see him."

"Out. Get the f*ck out. That's it. It's done for you," she told the person.

A couple of nights before that, she had to put multiple fans in their place at a show in Green Bay.

One clip shows her telling the idiot to stop, cautioning, "Or if you want to hit me in the face, I had to press charges to the other guy; I would love to become richer." The crowd burst into applause.

She further clarified, "But I'm not inviting that, please, I'm just joking — it was a joke." 

As the video continued, a young man was placed in handcuffs and escorted out of the venue.

And she's not overreacting, either. Just over a year ago, Rexha was hit by a phone thrown on stage that gave her a black eye and led to the arrest of the person who threw it. Since then, she has repeatedly dealt with fans inexplicably trying to launch projectiles at her — because people suck and are very stupid.

Aside from the fact that it's just unkind to throw objects at people's faces, concert tickets are already expensive enough. Do you really want to have to pay a lawyer, too?

Miranda Lambert's Rules For Fighting

Speaking of unruly concert-goers, Bebe Rexha isn't the only singing blonde lady who had to (figuratively) stomp some throats recently.

Miranda Lambert had to stop her show in Midland, Texas, last week to break up a fight. She stopped playing her song "Tin Man" to ask if they were fighting and added that she was "going to come down there."

"And you don’t want that today," she said while the crowd cheered. "We’re not doing that today."

And it's not that Miranda doesn't like fighting. She is a "rootin' tootin' pistol from the Lonestar State," after all. (Those are lyrics to a song, not me being a hokey weirdo.)

"If you want to fight at my shows, I’m all about it," Miranda said later in a social media video. "Give 'em hell."

The only stipulation is that you're only allowed to fight during these five songs:

• "Fastest Girl in Town"
• "Kerosene"
• "Little Red Wagon"
• "Wranglers"
• "Gunpoweder and Lead"

But — for fudge's sake — don't even think about taking a swing during the heartbreak ballad "Tin Man."

"It’s not the time," she continued. "I know you can hear the sh*t talking because it’s a ballad, but that’s not the time, so pick your times. You’ve got five songs. Look at the setlist and choose wisely."

This isn't the first time Miranda has flipped over disrespectful behavior during that song. Last July, the country music star stopped in the middle of a show to scold a group of fans who were taking forever to get a selfie and blocking everyone's view in the front row.

Another look showing how obnoxious the selfie-takers were being:

Say what you want, but I get where she's coming from. As a writer who loves good writing, I'm a sucker for beautifully crafted lyrics (something much of mainstream "trucks-girls-beer" country music is severely lacking). And "Tin Man" is a damn masterpiece. It's a shut-up-and-listen kind of song.

Plus, if you've got something bad to say about Miranda Lambert, you can go argue with a wall. I love that woman. I love her music, I love her attitude, I love the fish tacos at her bar on Broadway. I will tolerate no slander.

Tell you who we will talk sh*t about, though…

HOA President Breaks Kid's Fishing Pole

Imagine you're a little kid partaking in a nice wholesome activity, like fishing in a neighborhood pond. Then suddenly, a grown man comes out of nowhere, snaps your fishing pole, screams in your face and then tells you he's going to press charges.

That's what happened to a couple of kiddos in Tennessee's Admirals Landing neighborhood (which Google tells me is somewhere out east). Luckily, they caught the whole thing on video.

Watch:

So I guess this guy is president of the HOA? And that tells me everything I need to know.

I live in the suburbs, and my neighborhood does not have an HOA. But the adjoining neighborhood does. And the only difference is that they pay a whole lot more money than we do, and sometimes our neighbor's grass gets a little long.

But I'll walk my dog past some long grass all day if it means I don't have to put up with d*cks like this policing what I do on my own property.

Granted, maybe fishing is prohibited in that particular pond. Or maybe they are on someone's property. But he probably could have tried asking them nicely to leave. And it's not like they're back there selling drugs or something. I'd happily let a kid fish in the pond behind my house if he's just enjoying himself and not bothering anyone.

And you know that HOA Nazi is probably one of those old guys who complains about "lazy kids on their phones all the time, blah blah." Yet here are a couple boys minding their business, doing something active outdoors, and this bully has to swoop in and ruin it.

So now I'm curious: I've heard some nightmare stories about HOAs in the past. So those of you who do have one, send me your experiences — the good, the bad and the ugly. Email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com.

Let's open the mailbag.

Duke Is On Board With Proper Boat Etiquette

Last week, I shared a video from a TikToker who goes by "3 Finger Guy." He made a series of social media posts detailing proper etiquette for those who are invited out as guests on a boat.

If you didn't read my Nightcaps last week (SHAME), his 13 rules are worth checking out.

Duke writes:

3 Finger guy is dead on the money, on all of it. 

The questions on return time are enough to leave folks behind, because as he stated, you're on my time and my dime. Fuel money is a drop in the bucket for what the operating costs are, and the season is short (at least here in the Northeast), so you have to get your bang for your buck.

Also, the red wine isn't on you. You didn't know.

Stacy Is Adding To The List

We spend a lot of time on the water and have owned a boat/boats since 2012. Most people would think that is crazy, but it is the one thing we can all agree that we want to do for fun, and I am pretty handy and can keep the things running pretty well on my own without huge maintenance bills. Your TikTok guy has some good points, but let me throw some others on there.

1.  When you walk on a boat, the FIRST thing you ask is where the lifejackets are stowed, and where the fire extinguishers are mounted.

2.  No, it is not okay for your 7-year-old to drive or to move the steering back and forth like his Tonka Truck. As a matter of fact, keep them away from the helm at all times. If he pulls the throttle back to full stop while we are running at 30 mph and no one is wearing a seatbelt, someone will get hurt. People have literally died from this.  

3.  I never expect anyone I invite to pay for gas. That is part of my treat. It is a nice gesture though. Most people would be shocked at how much gas for a boat costs and how much one burns, depending on what you are doing.

4.  If you are bringing your kids, make sure to bring some water, food and snacks for them, but be smart about it. A cheese tray is not good. Needs to be compact to fit in a cooler or a storage compartment. A plastic bin with fried chicken or wings is usually our go to. Have had several instances with a certain couple showing up with a cooler of beer and nothing else. I guess they figured their two kids could just have whatever we packed for our kid.

5.  No bottles. And yes, if you do bring bottles and I do not find out until later, I will get upset if I find you in the back, breaking them against the hull and throwing them in the river to get rid of the empties. (Yes, this actually happened.)

6.  It's always a good gesture to surprise the host with a little something extra to show that you appreciate the invite.

7.  Offering to and actually helping wash the boat at the end of the day OR coming back the next day and helping is almost a 100% guarantee for an invite back.

The point is, if you like to go out on a boat, then do things that make the boat owner want to invite you back. We have taken a number of different friends and family out for a day on the water, but the list of those that got invited a second time is much shorter.

Additional rules for fishing:

1.  Turn the GPS on your phone off. This is especially important when fishing reefs offshore

2.  Bring bait or offer to pay for the bait. This can also be applicable to ice.

3.  Tell everyone at home you do not know when you will be back. That depends on the fish.   

4.   If this is something you will be doing a lot with friends, not a bad idea to buy your own handheld vhs, just in case

5.   Blood in the boat is washed off immediately. Find out where the bucket is or the hose and pump switch.

6.   If you do not know how to clean a fish and cannot help with that, make sure you are there at the cleaning table packing fillets, rinsing the table, doing whatever you can to help.

Stuff I Liked

Let's end this with a video I've watched no less than 75 times and still haven't stopped laughing:

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.

Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.