Barstool Sports Employee, 5 Other Heroes Stop Lunatic From Opening Plane Door By Duct Taping His Legs

Published|Updated

Nobody at OutKick has been piloting (see what I did there?) the 2024 is the Year of the Road Trip plane more than yours truly. 

I've always hated flying, and what's transpired just over the past six weeks has led me to officially swear off planes for good. 

Doors flying off at 30,000 feet in the air, engines blowing up after take-off, wheels popping off … if you read Nightcaps – of course you do – you know we have a running list of aviation instances that have happened since the first of the year. 

And it's a loooooooong list for such a short period of time:

  • Alaska Boeing Max loses a door mid-flight.
  • Atlas Air blows an engine in the sky.
  • Guy in Utah gets sucked into a commercial airliner while running on tarmac.
  • Another Max plane gets dinged because of pesky loose bolts.
  • Wheel nearly comes off commercial flight right before takeoff.
  • United CEO is also a drag queen.
  • Virgin flight missing bolts.
  • Holes mis-drilled in new Max planes.
  • A pair of JetBlue planes collide at Logan
  • NYC bound plane makes a U-turn because of a fire in the cockpit

See? Stunning. 

Anyway, just yesterday we not only had reports of a United flight RIPPING UP midair, but a crazy dude on another flight try to open the emergency exit door after reaching cruising altitude. Not great!

The latter was documented by Barstool Sports employee Wonton Don, who not only took pictures, but was one of five American heroes who dealt with the lunatic with the game on the line:

Barstool Sports employee documents American Airlines incident 

My God. Seriously, why does anyone fly anymore? I understand in this situation you sort of have to – this American Airlines flight was Chicago-bound from Albuquerque, sort of a tough road trip – but if you can avoid it, AVOID IT. 

It's getting worse by the day, folks. Seriously. That's not even hyperbole. The wings on a United flight literally started tearing apart yesterday. 

I mean, what are we doing here?

Where the hell is Pete Buttigieg? Is he still on his six-month paternity leave? Is he gonna do anything before the Biden administration stumbles off into the sunset in a few months?

Ridiculous. 

Year of the Road Trip, people. Make it cool again!

PS: electric hat here. You know a dude is all business when the sticker is still on the lid:

Tags
Written by
Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.