Australian Restaurant Owner Is Not Happy That She Can't Order Profane Fortune Cookies
A restaurant owner in Australia is not happy about her fortune cookie situation, and it's not because most fortune cookies these days are incredibly lame.
Her problem is that the company she used to order fun, profane cookies from won't sell them to her because of a mistake they made.
I don't know if you've had a fortune cookie lately, but I feel like they've really lost their fastball over the last few years. Sure, the cookie was never that great, which is why you were banking on a fortune or some pearl of wisdom from Confucius to make choking down a cookie kind of taste like someone splashed vanilla extract on a hunk of cardboard worth it.
We talked about it in a classic edition of The Gripe Report, but the last time my fiancée and I got Chinese food, her fortune cookie told her to keep a journal.
It gave her a homework assignment. I half expect the next cookie I crack open to say something to the effect of, "Hey stupid, how about doing some multiplication tables… and would it kill you to read a book? One without pictures."
So, for all I know, this could be why Nahji Chu, who owns a Vietnamese restaurant in Sydney, Australia decided to start selling profanity-laced fortune cookies as a gag.
Chu put in another order to restock her vulgar cookie supply for Valentine's Day (which is like the Super Bowl for salty-speak cookies, however, the company told her they wouldn't be happening.
A fortune cookie company will not send an Australian restaurant owner the profane cookies she order because one of the last times they filled her order, they sent some of them to the wrong place. (Getty Images)
A Goof While Filling A Previous Order Spelled An End For Profane Fortune Cookies
The reason the company calling it quits on salty fortunes?
It wasn't that the cookies were too offensive, it was that on a previous order, the company had mistakenly sent some of Chu's cookies to customers hoping to get some tame, run-of-the-mill cookies.
"I said, 'This is a personal attack, and you're discriminating against my messages'," Chu said in an interview with," 9news.com.au. "It's for my customers, within the context of me and my brand… If you're getting it mixed up with other restaurants, that's not my [fault]."
I mean… she's right.
The company said that the mistake led to other customers being "quite upset" about getting the dirty cookies, but they offered a solution.
They said Chu could order empty fortune cookies and insert her own slips of paper.
First, this sounds like a massive pain in the ass, and 2). this information that I was not privy to, and now I just want to make my own fortune cookies and give them to people. That sounds fun.
But, unfortunately for Chu, it sounds like this may be her only option if she wants to give her customers what they want, which is filthy fortunes.