No, Australia Shouldn't Ban G-String Bikinis At Waterparks...Stop Being Stupid

For some reason, talk about banning G-string bikinis is all the rage in Australia, and it needs to stop. 

In February, things got serious when a Gold Coast businessman wrote a letter to the mayor calling for a bikini ban. Ian Grace, the guy who wrote the letter, went even further and made the same demands during a TV appearance. 

Bikini supporters revolted. 

Now, on a prominent Australian Facebook page, a huge debate has broken out over whether Australian waterparks should ban the bikinis. 

What the hell is with this fascination, you freaks?

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According to a 2015 LifeHacker.com report, Australians debating this stuff goes back to the 1930s when beach cops would patrol the sand and measuring swimsuits. Things didn't get any better by the 1960s when lifeguards were allowed to kick women off beaches for inappropriate bikinis. 

Eventually, the nerds lost out and topless beaches became popular – and legal. 

Meanwhile, on the Facebook G-string post, thousands of women are ready to ban the bikinis at water parks. "I think it entertains the dads more than anyone else and who wants to sit with a man who can't keep his eyes to himself.. a time and a place for everything.. except leering men. Betting this won't be a popular opinion," Sarah Kate wrote on the post. 

Another woman named Megan went off on G-strings. 

"Ban them everywhere. I don’t want to see that much of anyones bum in public, thanks!" she wrote. 

These ladies just kept going. 

"Where has women’s dignity gone. Ladies you want a real true man then make him earn the right to see it don’t flaunt it," Kim writes.

"I all for women loving their bodies and being happy in their own skin but it doesn’t mean every man and his dog has to see it."

Look, I'm going to say this once: LEAVE THE G-STRING BIKINI ALONE…NO BANS! 

Here's what happens in these circumstances: Once Australia bans G-strings at water parks, some bored American will see the news and then go to a council meeting screaming about G-strings and the next thing you know, we have new rules in the U.S. about G-strings. 

The next thing you know, America ISIS develops and we become a G-string-less society. 

Do you want that? I don't. 

Do you want a world where beach volleyball players wearing burkas? 

This is crazy talk. Nobody would take away bikinis in the U.S. 

Oh yeah? Do you remember what happened to the Miss America pageant during the #MeToo movement? They banned bikinis from competition. 

Trust me, there are women out there who cheered on the change. Read what this woman wrote for Allure.

Say no to Australia's G-string ban. Say no to all bikini bans. 

Good luck changing my mind.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com