AT&T Lily Juices The Algo With Some Anti-Trump Tips, Apple TV Baseball Girl Hits The Pool & Mets' Pride Night!

Whew. What a weekend. Not our best, but we got through it. Frankly, at this point, we just need college football back in the worst possible way. 

The only king I want to write about on Saturdays are the kings of college football! Also known as the SEC. Sorry, Big Ten truthers. 

Yes, I know how the last two years have gone. Whatever. I still stand by it. 

Anyway, welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we bring in AT&T Lily to help me celebrate my nine-year wedding anniversary, and go from there. 

That's right! Today is the big day for me and the First Lady, and she gave me the best present possible …

… no, you animals. Not that! Something even better!

She forgot it was our anniversary until about noon today. Do you understand how great that is? It's truly the greatest thing she could've given me. 

The balance of power immediately shifts back to me for the rest of the day. I caught on around 7:30 this morning that she hadn't realized it yet, and I was gonna milk it for all it was worth. 

Nine years in, it's rare that I get to hold all (any) the cards anymore – so when she tees one up for me like this, I'm gonna make sure I find a gap and put myself into scoring position for later tonight!

What else? I've got the best of the rest from a big weekend of #content, Apple TV's baseball girl, Tricia Whitaker, pumps out absolute THIRST from Alaska, the Red Sox ripped my heart out yesterday, and maybe we'll check in with the Mets after a big Pride weekend!

Sound good? Good. 

Grab you a pitchfork and a whiskey-soda as we all head on over to Yawkey Way, and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!

Are Red Sox fans OK with our apparent deal with the devil?

I realize not all of you are baseball fans, much less Sox fans, so feel free to skip this part if you just want to get to the hot girls and funny #content. I won't take it personally. 

For those of you who stayed … yesterday was the worst Father's Day maybe ever? Has to be up there, right? 

One time, as a kid, I had poison oak in places you didn't want poison oak for Father's Day, so that one was pretty bad. I'd gladly take that over what the greedy scumbags in Boston did to me late yesterday afternoon. 

Rarely am I stunned at anything anymore. Seriously. I blog about so much #content on a daily basis, that I'm pretty numb to anything life throws at me. 

When I saw the Devers news start to drop around 6 p.m. yesterday, I legitimately thought it was fake. I refused to believe it. I lived through the Nomar trade, and the Lester trade, AND the Mookie trade, AND the shitshow that was the end of 2011. 

None of that compared to the Devers trade. Not even close. It was that shocking. 

It did get me thinking … what would the NFL equivalent of this trade be? Obviously, everyone is throwing out the Luka comparison from the NBA, and that's a good one. But what about in NFL terms? 

Justin Jefferson to the 49ers for a couple linebackers who are decent against the run but can't defend the pass, along with a ham sandwich and a 6th round pick in next year's draft? I don't know. That one seems close. 

Regardless, I've lived through four World Series championships. I realize that. But this organization is a disgusting, greedy, pathetic mess right now, and I'm starting to realize why my dad was so miserable up until 2004. 

At least ownership did right by the fans this time!

What a weekend of #content!

I mean, it's just so perfectly on-brand for a John Henry-led franchise. He's such a scumbag. Waiting until the team A) finishes a homestand against the Yankees, and B)then jets out of town for a 10-game road trip 3,000 miles away to make THIS trade is the most petty thing I've ever seen. 

What a bunch of CROOKS. On top of that, they're waiting until 8 p.m. tonight to have a press conference about it. A full 24 hours after the trade. 

When I use the phrase Pussification of America, this is exactly what I mean. At least Raffy doesn't have to see that stupid BLM signage in the Fenway outfield anymore! 

Although, to be fair, he's going to insufferable San Francisco, which makes Boston seem like a confederate state.

OK, let's get to the best #content from a weekend full of it. Speaking of insufferable major league baseball teams …

Meet the Mets!

AT&T Lily has a message & Tricia in Alaska 

Whew. What a weekend! It wasn't the easiest of weekends, but y'all did it. You made it work. 

Couple things … 

1. How about the Mets? Maybe the BLM signage at Fenway isn't so bad after all?

2. I didn't think the puddles were that big of a deal yesterday at Oakmont. It's the US Open. Everyone is playing in the same conditions. Play it as it lies, as Shooter once said!

3. Welcome back to class, Bucks Heiress – and Aaron Rodgers' ex – Mallory Edens! Big summer on deck.

4. Courteney Cox is now 61, for those of you who want to feel awful about yourselves today. 

OK, let's quickly get to our first rapid-fire of the week, because I've got places to be. First up? Big weekend of insufferable marching from a bunch of white boomers who couldn't tell you what they were marching for. Seriously, it was a cesspool. 

Luckily, AT&T Lily offered her assistance!

Just a barrel of bullshit from a legend here, but I specifically loved the final slide:

"Use stories, not stats."

Hilarious. That might as well be the Libs' motto at this point with literally anything. "Don't say anything that counters your argument, just make up a bunch of crap and see if they buy it."

Thanks for the tips, AT&T Lily! And thanks for juicing the Algo. You're always #PuttingAmericaFirst!

OK, that's it for today. Sorry to cut class short, but life has reared its ugly head at the Dean house. 

See you Wednesday. 

Take us home, Tricia:

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

What's the NFL equivalent of the Devers trade? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.