AT&T Lily Has A Filthy Message For America, Kash Patel's Girlfriend Triggers The Libs & Kay Adams Gets Drilled
The lefties spent all week breaking down a group text like the Zapruder film, and they forget all about us. Sad. Now?
Now, they've let us get to another Friday. Another weekend. Beer, baseball, tournament basketball, and – for those of you Libs who accidentally stumbled into this class by mistake – probably a trip to see Snow White!
See? There's something for everyone. Let's have a big weekend.
Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where we shoot down the bad guys with Kash Patel's smokeshow girlfriend, Alexis Wilkins, and go from there.
What else? I've got our weekly best-of-content from the internet, MLB had just the worst day yesterday, Bubba Watson made perhaps the most outrageous golf declaration in the history of time, and Kay Adams wore a golf ball like the VET she is.
Oh yeah! We'll probably check in with AT&T Lily, too. Why not? She has a message for America that caught my attention earlier this week.
How does THAT sound for a final-Friday-of-March menu? No days off, boys and girls. We hit it hard today, so we can play hard tomorrow.
Grab you enough alcohol to get you through the final Zoom call of the week, and settle in for a Friday 'Cap!
Banner day for MLB yesterday!
Two days in a row now that I have to start class by shitting on something involving Major League Baseball. Sad.
Yesterday, it was ESPN, which showed a whopping two games all day on their vast network of channels. That's as many games as insufferable First Take reruns, for those counting at home.
Today, though? Unfortunately, all my anger is pointed directly at MLB, and MLB alone, because yesterday was a trainwreck. Just a trainwreck.
It was the Snow White of Opening Days, if you will.
No games before 3 p.m. That's on Rob Manfred. You're telling me you'd rather stick Paul Skenes– arguably your most recognizable player outside of Ohtani – in the 4:05 time-slot, on regional TV only? That was the best move?
Here's a novel idea for Manfred and Co. – have the Marlins-Pirates game start at 1:05 on ESPN for a national audience. Make it a standalone game. Put Olivia Dunne's boyfriend on your main network, all by himself. Weird, I know, but trust me on this one.
Instead, nobody outside of South Florida or Pittsburgh saw it. Lunacy.
Next gripe? Oh, I don't know, how about the MLB App, which is expensive as hell, not working at all for the first slate of games yesterday? Fans shelled out hundreds of dollars to be able to watch every game, and this is what they got:
What a week of #content!
Yeah, I mean – what are we doing here? I backed Manfred in yesterday's class for his decision to tell the wokes over at ESPN to kick rocks. But fair is fair, and yesterday was a disaster for a sport that can't afford disasters.
And I didn't even think about the sheer stupidity of starting your season … 10 days ago!
The whole Japan series is next-level stupid on MLB's part. Nobody cared here in the states, and the ones that did A) didn't know about it, or B) weren't awake at 6 a.m. EASTERN to watch it. Lord knows the Dodgers fans out west weren't up at 3.
At least the grown-ups with jobs and kids weren't.
I know I've harped on this for two classes in a row, and for you MLB-haters, I'm sorry. I am. Let's be honest, I talk mostly politics, football and hot girls around here. The rest of the time is usually filled with funny internet jokes. I needed these two days to vent.
I'd like to say it won't happen again, but, let's be honest, it will. I appreciate you giving me your time.
Here's that funny internet stuff I was talking about to make it up to you. And, just for good measure, a hot girl!
Kay gets drilled, dumb Joy Behar & dumbest Tim Walz!
Another #winning week from the internet. You guys are still undefeated in 2025!
Some thoughts, as always …
1. Welcome back to class, AT&T Lily! Tits up, Ass out! Love a good Friday Night Lights callback. Texas Forever!
2. Friday Night Lights? One of the most underrated shows of all time. The First Lady and I need something to watch in bed after our 30 seconds are up, and I may bring this one back to the table. We'll see.
3. JD in Greenland? Elite entrance. When the Dems cuss, it's so fake and manufactured. You can tell. It's like their first time ever doing it. At least when the Big Rs do it, it's authentic. It is, in fact, cold as shit in Greenland.
4. Never really had the drive to watch Human Centipede II after the first one, but being worse than a movie that's literally about sucking someone's ass has to be an all-time low. Nice work, Disney!
5. Bubba? Bubba. Come on. Don't be silly.
Yes, I know – going up against Bob May ain't exactly competing against Rory and JT and those fellas on a weekly basis, but come on.
Last I checked, Scottie also wasn't facing the LIV guys on a weekly basis, either, and I hear that Bryson guy is pretty good. So is Brooks. And Rahm, when he's not angry at everyone.
Silly comment.
OK, rapid-fire time because we've got tourney games on tonight and my Red Sox are still in the mix for 162-0, so I have to tune in.
First up? Speaking of golf, the Kay Adams run on the course lately has been Hall of Fame stuff:
Another big week for Kay, who continues to dive head first into the golf influencer world. I think we're in for a special few months of #MajorSZN with her. Stay tuned.
Next? From the hottest sports host in America to two of the dumbest people in America, let's get a quick pulse check on the Democratic Party as their approval rating sinks to a hilarious 26 (!!!) percent:
It's amazing, really, how stupid that side is. THIS is their message to America after getting stuffed in a locker last fall.
We didn't embrace DEI and wokeness ENOUGH!
Incredible. How Tim Walz and Jasmine Crockett became the faces of the Democratic Party in 2025, I'll never, ever know. But buddy, I am so thankful for it.
Alexis Wilkins and Tampon Tim take us HOME!
Couple things for Tampon Tim on the way out:
- DEI is the most racist thing on the planet. Our country is collectively dumber because of DEI. That's literally true, because the very definition of the policy is to not hire people based on merit.
- I think Donald Trump's record on immigration speaks for itself. Joe Biden could have closed the border at any point over the past four years. It's evident at this point, because Trump did it in about five minutes.
Joe kept it open on purpose. If you're wondering why, think about who illegals vote for in elections and you'll probably get your answer.
- And, as for the whole "woke" bullshit thing … yeah, y'all can have that one, too. Run with it, Tim! We're done with it. Sane Americans reject any of the woke bullshit at this point. The Dems are, and have been, the wokest people on the planet for years now. YEARS.
Keep it up, though!
OK, that's it for today – and this week. Good one all around. Strong end to March. Let's bring it home this weekend, and jump into April next week with enough piss and vinegar to kill a horse (whatever that means).
Let's allow a Big R Republican – Kash Patel's smokeshow country singer girlfriend, Alexis Wilkins – to take us home. It's only right.
Grip it and rip it, Alexis!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You get screwed over by the MLB app yesterday? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.