Annie Agar Takes A Vicious Shot At The Detroit Lions, Sad Eagles Fans & Chuck Norris Doing MMA
Just imagine how Eagles fans are feeling today at work after tailgating for 12 hours and then watching Kirk Cousins hit Drake London for the game-winner
Full disclosure: I went to bed at 11 thinking that game was over. I assume many of you did too. Then Cousins pulls off one of the most improbable wins that Next Gen Stats has ever seen.
The Eagles are 2-7 over their last nine games. To put things in perspective, the Giants are 4-5 over their last nine.
I know…I know…ESPN made it out to be like the Eagles were coming off a Super Bowl victory with its pregame show and shoving Jason Kelce down our throats.
Are you tired of the Kelces yet?
Tell me about it: joekinsey@gmail.com
Twitter Community Notes states this video is staged, but let me tell you about the time I was staying at an Airbnb in Indianapolis and came out of the bathroom after taking a dump & the owner was sitting outside the door
Let me take you back to the 100th running of the Indy 500. I was in town for a week with a bunch of Internet types to document the big event for Verizon, which was a huge sponsor at the time. One group was staying in a very nice house. Verizon spent some money on that place.
Then there were those of us who were staying in a pretty big house where the owner claimed she wouldn't be around and would purposely avoid us. Let's just say there weren't many places left to stay and we had to take this house.
Oh, and the owner's elderly mother would be staying upstairs, but nobody would bother us while we were in the house. The owner agreed to stay away.
That lasted like one night.
I'd say it was the second morning when I was in this tiny half-bath taking a huge dump. I'm talking completely blowing up this toilet off the kitchen. I was probably in there a half-hour. I call off the troops, wash up, open the door and holy shit…the owner was right there sitting at the kitchen counter.
"You know there's a bigger bathroom upstairs, right?" she says.
Talk about one of the most awkward post-dumps in Airbnb history.
I'm also convinced she was going through my stuff during the day while I was at the track. It was 100% a nightmare. I'm probably lucky to have not be carved into pieces and buried under the foundation.
Hoco proposals (this might actually be a duplicate topic, but it drives me nuts each fall)
The more I think of this stuff, the dumber I think it is for these proposals to exist. I saw one the other day where a girl just happens to be in the backyard as the teen hops over a fence with his sign and flowers. She's in a perfect spot for the boy to show off his sign and moms could get the perfect shots of the content.
And we wonder why this country is going to hell in a handbasket. Stanley-succin' suburban moms and their goofy-ass rituals are partly to blame.
- JBS writes:
I am not naming names but I personally know of a daughter’s mother who made the boyfriend make the poster with her at her house to ensure it was done right!
Kinsey:
Stanley-succin' suburban moms wanting this to be all about their own dopamine rush. Why am I not surprised?
- Steve B. in Grand Junction, CO tells us how scripted this all is:
Yeah, these proposals for "Hoco" (as they call it now) are becoming more elaborate than many of our marriage proposals. Of course, they all have to be filmed.
My 15 year-old daughter had to do the sign and flowers thing, and she was just going with one of her female friends.
One of her friends with a long-time boyfriend got the proposal the night before. Since the camera was running, she had to act all surprised and happy, when she's known for a month he was going to ask.
The school's IG page doesn't help by allowing everyone to post their proposals and then having kids vote on the best proposal. (Top vote getter got free tickets to homecoming). On the bright side, one of the top vote getters was a proposal from a disabled boy asking a disabled girl, so hopefully that one won.
Texas A&M tailgating meat and quitting tobacco
- Bob C. is back with a report on two subjects near and dear to our hearts:
I retired 2 weeks ago, and we are busier than ever. I have a new email address, but I’m the Aggie that tried to host you for an Aggie/Bama game a couple of years ago.
I lit the pit at 6:45 am, and smoked up 4 pork butts for a tailgate this weekend. Pork butts take 9 hours on my trailer pit, and I don’t want to pull an all nighter to smoke the butts and have them ready at 2pm.
Saturday we will smoke 8 racks of baby back ribs, 8-12 pork tenderloins, and at least 10#s of sausage.
The first picture is tonight’s dinner; smoked meat loaf.
I quit chewing was 2 pouches of Levi Garrett chewing tobacco 18 years ago. It was costing me $40 a week for a dozen pouches. I pulled $40 a week from my checking account and put it in my Vegas/travel fund.
I upped it to $60 a week, and that $3120 per year comes in handy on the Black Jack tables. I like the $ more than the tobacco.
Love your column, keep up the great work.
NFL fans need to vent a little bit
- Paul in Cincy says:
I don’t think I can take anymore. Life is too short to let those guys short-circuit weekends of one of my favorite times of the year. Super Bowl 56 was apparently our only shot at getting the Lombardi trophy.
Chase thinks he deserves a monster contract and that’s what we get out of him yesterday? And Higgins can’t even suit up. When did this irrational amount of spending for prima donna WRs begin?? And RBs are a dime a dozen and paid a pittance compared to the WRs. Just way, way out of balance. I can see big bucks for the QB and guys on both side of the line, maybe even an all-pro CB deserves the cash. But the gap between RB and WR needs to be brought a bit more in line.
But that’s not really what ails the Bengals. My default position during the decades of apathy was to blame the tight-fisted, short-sighted owner. Perhaps that’s still the case? Maybe we’re just cursed.
Losing that game sucked and then having to listen to the Nantz/Romo bathhouse romance about everything Kansas City was nauseating. At this point, I may root for the detestable Steelers to beat KC if it means there’s no 3-peat.
Thanks for understanding. At least we’re not Cowboys fans
- Mark T. in Florida checks in:
It's officially time to call out the NFL for the Chiefs biasness. Sunday as I'm watching the end of the Bengals / Chiefs game I literally told my house guest; watch this there will be either a defensive holding call (5 years & automatic first down) or a DPI before the snap on 4th & 16. Just like there have been no Chiefs offensive holding calls in the last 3 Super Bowls; everyone knew the flag was coming. And sure enough the official couldn't get the flag out of his pocket fast enough.
I know the league wants Mahomes to pass up Brady but at this point just quit pretending. Since 2018, Mahomes has had 17 interceptions overturned by a defensive penalty. Non Chiefs fans are sick of it; its time for this to be nationally called out....on a weekly basis.
Best Inventions You Discovered Late
- Steve B. in Grand Junction, CO also writes:
I don't know where this outdoor fly trap has been all my life. I've probably bypassed this thing a million times at our local Ace Hardware, but for some reason I made an impulse buy in hopes of being able for to eat with my family on the backyard patio without being constantly dive-bombed. Something about the smell of hamburgers grilling brings out every fly within a 20-mile radius.
Until now.
This Outdoor Pop fly trap is amazing. (#notsponsored). Directions said to clean out "when full." I thought: "full of what?"
Now I get it. The HOA needs to waive my annual dues because I think I've single-handedly killed every fly in the subdivision.
For the first two days, I couldn't stop staring at it. I even bagged a wasp or two.
Enjoy weekends while you can
- Mike N. writes:
We watched my youngest son play Friday Night Lights in Naperville. Saturday we watched our oldest son play rugby in College Station for A&M. On Sunday night we watched the Bears defense play in Houston. I would do this every weekend for the rest of my life if I could.
Should Tony Romo's basketball golf shorts be banned from legit golf courses?
- LA Don chimes in:
OK so, what is going on in the golf attire world is that some players are thinking that since Lululemon (ABC Shorts OR Pace Breakers) and Vuori (Pebble shorts) now make golf shorts (images below) look cool and still classy… that other workout shorts pass… UMMMM, NOPE... this is where it needs to stop. Tony Romo's shorts tell me that Tony doesn’t really give a flying poop what he's wearing. It’s tacky and an embarrassment IMO.
So, point being, as we evolve in the golf attire world, things are changing a bit… but baggy looking running shorts do not pass.
So, I call a 15 yard penalty on unnecessary attire to look like bum on Romo.
I have maybe 15 pair of the Lulu's ABC shorts for golf and by far the most comfoabtle golf shorts I have even owned….
BTW, do you know what the ABC stands for in lululemon shorts? lol. (hence why they are so damn comfortable)
You guys might have some money coming back from those Home Depot 2X4 runs
It's not much, but it could still be money in your pocket.
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And that's all for this sunny Tuesday in mid-September. I can report that it still hasn't rained here and it's 100% not going to rain here for the next 6 ½ days. The local weather guys say that if we don't get rain next Tuesday (just a 30% chance) we could be looking at around two weeks out without rain.
This is by far the craziest stretch of weather I've ever seen around here, including stretches of winter. It has been CRYSTAL CLEAR and sunny for like 7-8 weeks. I can't remember the last time we had a cloudy day.
No complaints.
Now let's go have a great day.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com