Annie Agar Checks In From A French Beach, 'Hawk Tuah' Memes & Indians Fans Fight
I've got nothing for you this morning
What's on my mind this morning?
- I slipped on the pool stairs last night – yes, they're freshly painted – and thought I broke my big toe. In reality, it's not broken because I can move it and if I can move it I just assume it's not broken, but I'm not going to rule out a severe sprain that will need a few beers at some point today.
- Yes, you can sprain a toe. I googled it.
- The house ball team has a game at 11. We have 9 players. It's going to be 95 degrees. It's going to be a war out there. I know, I know…your travel ball team plays in 95 degrees for fake plastic World Series rings every weekend and your boys are tougher than a $5 steak. Good for your boys.
- Hell yes, I'm dialed into the Stanley Cup playoffs. It was on the pool TV last night for what I believe is the first time at this time of year. Remember when the Stanley Cup would end like a week before the NBA Finals? Monday night is appointment TV. It's too bad that game isn't in Edmonton.
The new Costco rotisserie chicken bags
- Chris B. in Florida writes:
I’ll preface this by saying that I hate going to Costco in Fort Myers. The aisles are jammed with rude people who don’t push their carts out of the way when they stop at the senior buffet stations (I help them by moving their carts while they’re crowding the old ladies with the snacks). I always feel like I’m the only person in the store who has anything else to do that day. You can only buy what they tell you that you can buy, you have to wait in line for everything — to get in, to pay, to leave after showing your papers. I told my doctor, who was raised behind the Iron Curtain, that it was like Soviet-style shopping — and she agreed!
Plus, the company is a big lib supporter — they pretty much funded the Hillary campaign.
That said: when I have to go, I take home a pizza and a roto chicken as my reward. The clamshells have always been cheap leaky crap, so I take three steps over to the meat and get a couple of those big plastic bags to keep the juice from ruining the back of the car (imagine a spot of chicken grease sitting in a car in the Florida sun for a few minutes). It also serves to piss off the libs at the store for the wasted plastic, which of course we later throw in the ocean /s/.
Do you want to read about more Little League/travel DRAMA?
The floodgates definitely opened this week in my inbox. I have a source out of suburban Philadelphia ready to give me a view behind the curtain with the Springfield Little League where some parent paid to fly a banner over the Little League field.
I have parents telling me horror stories across other parts of the United States.
Needless to say, the United States of Youth Sports is a content world that I could tap into and write about until the day I die. It never ends.
I just need a way to make millions off the drama.
Missed autograph chances that you regret
- Brent P. in Carmel, IN writes:
Autograph regret: In 1985 I played 3 on 3 with Larry Bird and two of his college buddies. I never asked for his autograph
The Raiders tailgating trailers
- Lee D. in Tampa writes:
This has to be one of the greatest heists in all of sports. Can you imagine what $20,000 can get you in Vegas? A helluva lot better time than drinking in a camper in a parking lot.
Shit, for less than $5,000 in Vegas you can have your tailgate catered.
A moon rise!
- Keith M. writes:
Not a sunrise or sunset but how about a full moon rise over Bryce Cannon last night? It was spectacular and a great visit to one of our great national parks in this great nation.
Screencaps anthem
- Paul B. emails:
I've had this thought for a while now but I always forget about it and it flies off into the ether of life. Until the next time I hear the song and I repeat the process. The TNML playlist reminded me of this so I'm going to write immediately before I forget, Have you ever heard the song Tired of Being Johnny B. Good by Hank Williams Jr.? I'll link it below. The first time I heard this song I thought "this would be a great Outkick/Screencaps anthem". It's funny to hear him talking about gas being to high when it was only a buck a gallon.
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That's it this morning. I need to get moving. Get my head right for that house ball game and then get home and into the pool.
Go have an incredible weekend. Sear those steaks. Enjoy summer. Let the stress go.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com