Amish Men Shunned After Emergency Test Exposed Their Secret Phones

We all had it drilled into our heads earlier this week that there was a test of the emergency alert system on the way. Sure, whoever was in charge of it got trigger-happy and sent it out two minutes early, but no harm, no foul.

Unless you're Amish.

I grew up in Central Pennsylvania and surrounded by Amish Country. I even played an Amish team in a men's league hockey game one time. The dude's couldn't skate well, but dammit, if they didn't play with heart.

This is to say I've been stuck in traffic behind a few horse-and-buggies in my life.

One thing that always left me scratching my head with the Amish was the seemingly arbitrary point in time where they said, "That's it; no more technology." I'm sure others wonder that too, including some Amish people themselves. That's why a lot of Amish folk have taken to getting cellphones on the downlow.

Now, since these are supposed to be secret, what they didn't needed was a tractor trailer horn blasting out of it to let them know that everything is cool, but that this is the sound they'd here if it wasn't.

A TikToker who was formerly Amish, says that's precisely what happened.

Amish Buggy and Sunbeams at Daybreak

Emergency Test Reportedly Led To A Rare Amish Double-Shunning

According to Daily Mail, Eli Yoder (the name checks out) said in a TikTok video that he knew several fellas who have now been shunned by their communities because of the emergency test.

"Guess what, I just got a couple of my Amish buddies shunned today by the Amish Church," Yoder said.

He explained that he has helped get some of his friends who are still in the community get phones. Yoder said that on the day of the emergency test, one of these guys with an illicit phones was about to get a talking to from community elders for something.

He said a shining was on the table, then the alert came.

"Right when that was going on, the alert went off and it was in his pocket. Now he’s getting shunned for both," Yoder said. "Whatever they were about to shun him for and also the cell phone."

Just like that. Double shunned. As they'd say in Pennsylvania Dutch, Sehn dich schpeeder. See you later.

Good luck getting back in. You could bake the greatest Shoo-Fly Pie know to man and you wouldn't even have a chance.

As annoying as the emergency alert was for the rest of us, imagine if that annoying noise had life altering consequences.

Just a real shame. Thanks, FEMA.

Follow on X: @Matt_Reigle