America Is Fed Up With Tony Romo, NFL Agent's Wife Rocks The Internet & The Wokes Are Turning On Each Other!

Happy Monday! I started my week by shelling out $65 to a locksmith because I locked my keys in the car last night, which would've been fine except the key fob died yesterday afternoon, meaning there was no way to open the car. 

Which meant I was calling a locksmith at 8 a.m. this morning and paying him $65 for literally 45 seconds of work. Nobody to blame but myself. The week can only get better from here. Let's turn it around NOW. 

Welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we give Tony Romo the day off for obvious reasons after yesterday, and go from there. 

What else? I've got Drew Rosenhaus's wife rocking the internet to its core, the best of the rest from a loaded weekend of #content, the woke media continuing to be just insufferable, and we shoutout SeanJo for going internet-viral yesterday!

We'll check in with Sydney Thomas on his behalf. It's only fair. 

OK, grab you a beer and a smoked chicken thigh from the Traeger, and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!

A tradition unlike any other: Tony Romo drooling over Josh Allen!

Look at that bad boy! That's right. I took the Traeger for another spin yesterday after last week's disaster, and she responded like an absolute champion. 

Five-pound bird. Brined her all night (hello!). Rubbed her down (hello AGAIN!) with an array of spices. Stuffed her (my GOD!) with lemons and garlic. Smoked her for four hours on 225. Let her rest for 10 minutes. Ripped her apart. 

You tell ME:

My three-year-old even liked it. Do you realize how hard it is to get a toddler to eat chicken? My only complaint was the skin, which looked and felt crispy as hell, but it was just rubber. But, as is life when you smoke something. You want crispy skin? You need to fry it. I assume there's no way around that, right? 

Regardless, a huge rebound for the Traeger. We're off and running now. Can't wait to see what's next. 

Now, while I was early on in the smoke, I had the fortune of listening to Tony Romo melt over every single Josh Allen dropback yesterday afternoon. I knew it was gonna be a long day, and buddy, it WAS. 

America, did you notice?

What a weekend of #content

Look, I think Josh Allen is incredible. Believe me, I have to see him twice a year, and he bashes the Dolphins' skulls twice a year. It's amazing, really. Personally, I think whoever wins this weekend should win the MVP. 

I know the mob won't like that, but it seems fair to me. One side thinks Lamar should win and calls anyone who says otherwise a racist. The other side thinks Josh Allen should win and calls anyone who thinks otherwise woke. Why not just give it to whoever plays better this weekend?

Now, we all know who Tony would vote for: 1. Patrick Mahomes (!!!). 2. Josh Allen. 3. Patrick Mahomes!

Oh well. Can't wait for Tony and Jimbo on the call for Ravens-Bills this week. Rest up, Tony. And head on a swivel, Nantz! 

Come on. That's a good one! Fine, enough self-promotion. Let's get to some of the actually good #content from over the weekend. 

First up? Racism is still very much alive in America:

What a weekend for sports media, Rosenhaus's wife & Amanda Vance!

I mean, just a loaded weekend. Insane. 

1. The Zane Gonzalez thing from last night? Amazing. I know it's some sort of OCD thing he's been open about, but it was still wild to watch unfold in real-time. What a kick, too. Sad that Baker was eliminated, though. 

2. Hot Texas girl? Welcome to the big leagues! That really is a tradition unlike any other. 

3. Speaking of … what a find by SeanJo yesterday! That above tweet about Sydney Thomas? Over 5 million views! So, who we going with, class? Lane Kiffin is the overwhelming favorite, but that's too easy. 

Lane would open as a -700 favorite, at least. Hugh Freeze would check in at +250. What about a guy like Sark, though? Divorced just last summer, first year in the SEC, wants to make a splash, on a high because his team is the last SEC team left … it's not implausible. 

What about the ex-SEC guys, too? Coach O, anyone? Spurrier? Phillip Fulmer? Nick Saban doesn't have time for Instagram, so he's out. But I think we need to think outside the box here. 

I mean, Bobby Petrino jumps off the page, and he's technically an SEC coach, just not a head coach. 

Oh well. I assume we'll find out one day. I'm going Sark, though. We zig, they zag. Don't you forget it!

OK, rapid-fire time on this second Monday of January. First up? The Patriots hiring Mike Vrabel yesterday had all the wokes in a TIZZY:

My God. It's insane. These people are just insane. 

I said it last week, and I'm going to say it again now. Listen up, Libs: THE ROONEY RULE IS BULLSHIT. There. Happy? It's racist. The Rooney Rule is the dumbest, most racist thing in sports. There. Happy? It's insulting to minorities. 

Don't blame Robert Kraft for half-assing a stupid rule. How about this? Get rid of the DEI rule, and let Robert Kraft hire whoever the hell he wants. There. Saved you all a bunch of fake tears. 

And believe me, they are fake tears. Don't let the Libs fool you for one second. They don't give a shit. They just need to virtue-signal as much as possible so they appear cool and hip and progressive. 

But they're none of those things. They're annoying as hell, and so unbelievably fake and exhausting. You don't want minorities used as props? Don't insert a racist rule into the sport that encourages that behavior. There. Easy fix. Idiots. 

Whew. What a rant! Did that sound like someone who was down $65 before breakfast or WHAT?

Let's unwind with a quick visit with Drew Rosenhaus's wife!

Holy cow! Did NOT see that one coming. And I looked it up – I don't think we've ever covered Lisa Rosenhaus. How did she fall through the cracks? 

Looks like she's part of a three-headed monster at a fancy Miami real estate firm, and her and Drew have been married for … 11 years! Eleven! 

Good for super agent Drew. Didn't see it coming, but I respect it. Now, if he could just get Tyreek traded for a couple first-round picks, I'd be all in. Get outta here, Reek. We don't want quitters!

OK, that's it for today. Big start to the week. Let's end it with a very sad Amanda Casey Vance after her Steelers shit the bed on Saturday. 

Sad. 

Take us home, Amanda. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You angry at the racist Patriots? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.