Amanda Balionis Sheds Her CBS Work Clothes On Vacation, Angel Reese's Bikini Dance & Olympic Anti-Sex Beds
Whoaaaaaaaa Nellie! What a weekend. The second half of 2024 is the craziest stretch of episodes since the back half of Breaking Bad. Just nuts. All gas, no breaks. Forget the slow burn. Forget the buildup and the character development.
That's all out the window now. It's all action from here on out. Does president Kamala Harris like Nightcaps? No shot! Does Nightcaps like her? Nope! But here we are.
It's a different America than the last time we spoke thanks to the democrats' insurrection – this one is an actual one! – and now we just sit back and wait to see what's next.
What a cliffhanger. Can't wait till the next episode drops!
On that note, welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we dance with Angel Reese and her friends by the pool and see if we can jog the Google Algo on this fourth Monday of July.
Fourth! And guess what? There's still one more to go! Is this the longest month of the year?
Whew. Football can't get here fast enough. And hey! We have all 32 teams reporting for camp this week. Let's GO. It's time to lock in and get ready for a big fall. Can't wait.
What else? I've got CBS golf star Amanda Balionis on a Midwest vacation as Rory melts away across the pond, an American patriot just enjoying the moment at yesterday's Indy 400, a cat fight at the Dodgers game yesterday that had the dugout's attention, and anti-sex beds in Paris. Sound good?
Good!
Grab you something cold and alcoholic – it's a scorcher out there! – and settle in for a second-to-last-week-of-July 'Cap!
Fine, let's go ahead and get the Kamala jokes out of the way
I mean, how am I not supposed to start with the obvious? I can't believe we're actually getting a Trump vs. Kamala Harris battle for all the marbles in 2024. Just wild. They really did it. They really pulled off the biggest coup of our lifetime.
Honestly, hat's off to the libs. Sometimes, as Pedro once said, you just have to tip your hat and call them your daddy. Just when you thought you'd get Trump in a landslide in November, they successfully pressure Joe Biden out of the race and insert KAMALA HARRIS!!!!
We're living in the Twilight Zone. Might as well enjoy the ride at this point, folks.
Anyway, the Kamala takes were flying so fast and furious this weekend on Elon's Twitter that I couldn't keep up. I doubt you could, either. Here are a couple gems I tucked away for today's class:
Amanda Balionis' vacation had the internet talking this weekend
That last one? I mean, that's what makes Twitter the best. Remember when people told Elon he would end up killing that site? It's become so much better over the past year it's not even funny.
PS: would be cool if the Dolphins could give Tua his money before camp this week. I don't know, seems important to me. Whatever. Poverty franchise.
OK, let's open the bookmarks and get to everything I saved from the past few days that'll be obsolete here pretty soon. We'll start with CBS golf reporter Amanda Balionis, who dominated a Jackson Hole vacation while Rory melted in The Open.
What a heater:
Angel Reese's pool party, Dodger stadium tussle & Olympics anti-sex beds!
That last one made me tear up. Has it really been 15 years since we lost Billy Mays? My goodness. Time flies. Sad.
Hi, Billy Mays here!
Man. Those were the days. The best. Back when we were a proper country with proper standards.
OK, let's rapid-fire this puppy into a big week. First up? Mail time!
From Charles:
Hey Zach
Sorry to hear about your truck. What a bummer. At least they got caught and didn’t take your clubs for what that is worth. Or maybe they should have so you could have a new set??? Hopefully, like this James Woods tweet, this sort of nonsense will be over soon.
We didn’t work this hard to have our country ransacked by organized crime and presidential candidates needing divine protection from up above. The missus had her mini van stolen several years ago. Quite a story, but didn’t have a helicopter chase…
Hope the summer has been great for you!
Thanks, Charles! Appreciate the kind words. I needed a pick-me-up today. Speaking of pickup … finally got a new pair of truck keys this afternoon, courtesy of our local locksmith. Only $345! Great. Thank God for food stamps!
Police still have my garage clicker and original keys in custody, which is fun. Maybe I'll get them back sometime in the next year. Who knows?
Anyway, I wish I would've put some money on Nick Castellanos to hit a homer after the Biden news. Could've used it. I saw the Hard Rock account tweet the odds after the news hit and thought to myself, man, I need to go sprinkle $20 on that.
Sure as shit …
Seriously, it's insane. I'm such an idiot. I ain't missing out next time.
Next? Let's check in with Angel Reese's big All-Star weekend out in Phoenix:
What a time to be alive. The WNBA continues to be an unexpected #content machine this summer. Just banger after banger. I know nobody actually likes it, but at this point, you have to respect it.
Speaking of content … let's head out to Gavin Newsom's state!
Honestly, it's not even a great fight. But it had Shohei's attention, and that means it has ours. WILD move with the Mich Ultra, too. Who does that? Why waste a beer like that, especially when you know it cost him $20?
I'd make a joke here about living in the free, law & order state of Florida, but I also just had both vehicles broken into, along with my garage, so I don't really have a leg to stand on at the moment. Sad.
Finally … let's all have sex on a cardboard bed!
Take us home, Aleah Finn
I don't care about the Olympics for the most part. Just not my thing. But every few years when we get these anti-sex bed stories, or the ones about how many condoms they're passing out in the Olympic Village, I can't get enough.
That place must be insane this time of year. I can't imagine what goes on in there. Not sure I could handle it.
PS: this Rhys McClenaghan character seems like an absolute animal in bed. What the hell sort of moves were those? Don't let your wives see that, fellas! I pulled a hammy just watching.
OK, that's it for today. Good luck in Paris, Aleah Finn! And welcome to class.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You worried about Kamala? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.