Alina Habba Dares The Fake News To Gaggle Her, Danica Patrick Turns 43 On The Beach & Jim Nantz Is Retiring!

It's our final Hump Day of March. Baseball starts tomorrow. The Libs are melting over Pete Hegseth's group chat. Alina Habba AND Danica Patrick celebrated a birthday yesterday. 

I mean, how the hell am I supposed to fit all this #content into one class? The good news is that my now 7-month-old slept all night in his bed last night for the first time since Christmas. 

Do you understand how long ago that was? We're nearly in April. What a journey. What a battle. What a TRIUMPH. I was up at 6 a.m. sharp this morning ready to smash skulls and crank out clickable #content. 

Haven't felt this refreshed in months. I forgot what it felt like. I missed it. Let's roll. 

Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where Alina and Danica smack the Libs upside the face like the pistols they are. 

SIGN UP for The Daily OutKick. New Look, Same Attitude.

What else? I've got Karoline Leavitt doling out some heat, Jimmy Nantz finally stepping away from The Masters (mark your calendars!), a couple of big-time birthdays, the XFL checks in, and we say goodbye to Gary Danielson. 

Sadly for Gary, people stopped watching CBS when the SEC left last year. I like him, though. I know you Bama fans didn't, but I did!

OK, grab you two big ‘ol slices of birthday cake for Alina and Danica, and settle in for a Hump Day ’Cap!

Are you outraged by this group chat debacle?

I'm honestly asking here. I'm not shilling for the Big Rs. If they messed up, then by all means, I want to know how badly they messed up. 

But, I'm gonna be honest with you … this all seems a little much at this point. I realize the Dems are gonna pounce on it because the Trump Admin just threw them an unnecessary life-jacket when they were all but sunk, but still. 

My question is – does this really resonate with the American people? Is this gonna sink Trump? I just don't see it. For starters, nobody trusts the media anymore. Like, at all. And don't even get me started on the garbage that comes from The Atlantic. 

Do you know who contributes to The Atlantic? Jemele Hill. JEMELE HILL! Right off the bat, I'm skeptical of anything that comes from that place. 

It just seems like another scandal – like the Jackie Robinson one from last week – that the lefty media cares a whole hell of a lot more about than the public. They take something, and then just go way too far with it. 

Does someone need to be blamed? Probably. Seems like Michael Waltz. Does someone need to be fired? I dunno. The mission was a success, right? Bad communication skills. No doubt about it. Good, though, where it counted most. 

Most importantly, for this class at least … it's given us some great #content!

I despise that the NFL keeps leaning into this dumb kickoff

"Beautiful day to gaggle us." Get ‘em, Alina! That’s our girl. She clearly shares the same sentiments as I do towards The Atlantic. Smart woman. 

God, between her and Karoline, the woke media really is cooked. They just don't stand a chance. 

And hey! Alina turned 41 yesterday. What an absolutely awful way to spend a birthday. Dealing with the lefty media? My God. I just can't imagine a more miserable birthday. 

PS: this cat seems like a ball of fire!

Hey, buddy – leave our girl alone. If Alina wants to jump her ass into a ball-pit, who are you to tell her not to? Piss off! We stand with Alina Habba!

OK … next? You know what we (I) do NOT stand with? The stupid NFL kickoff from last season that was basically glorified touch-football. 

Good news! It's gonna get worse:

Jim, Gary & Danica, oh my!

Disgusting. We're so doomed. Our game is cooked. It's flag football at this point. Between this dumb new kickoff –  which the NFL is now leaning into – and the stupid helmet condoms some players wear, we might as well just rip the band-aid off entirely and take the pads away. 

You can't use ‘em to hit the quarterback, anyway, so what’s the point? 

Look, maybe I'm in the minority here – but I truly despised this new format last year. Did you guys? I said it during the HALL OF FAME game (as you can see above), and I stood by it all season. It felt weird. It looked weird. It didn't feel or look like football. 

I'd rather both teams just start at the 20. Just nix the kick entirely and start it at the 20. Having both teams stare at each other for five seconds while the ball floats in the air is so silly. 

But Zach! They took it from the XFL because everybody loved it in the XFL!

No, they didn't. Nobody watched. Nobody cared. The XFL hasn't been good since 2001. 

Oh, hell yes. If the NFL wants to copy the XFL, copy THAT! Forget this pansy kickoff crap. Let's have the fellas smash some skulls to see who gets the ball first. 

We used to be such a great country. Sad. 

OK, rapid-fire time on this final Hump Day of March. First up? Brace yourselves, Jim Nantz is stepping away from The Masters … in 11 years!

Thanks, Jim! Nothing like a little 11-year heads up. Plenty of time to get our affairs in order. I'll be sure to mark my calendar, Jimbo! Wouldn't want to miss it. 

Goodbye, friends. 

Next? While Jim is riding some serious job security, poor Gary Danielson sees the writing on the wall:

Honestly, this one is sad. I know SEC fans generally hated Gary towards the end, but goodness, did I miss him last year. 

Sure, he was still on at the same time every Saturday, but a 3:30 Illinois-Rutgers game hit a bit different than Bama-LSU. I grew up with Verne and Gary. The BEST college football theme song, until, of course, CBS sold its soul to the Big Ten last year. 

I don't blame Gary one bit for hanging 'em up. Can you imagine how miserable he was last year? When Big Noon gets most of the marquee games, and then the NBC primetime slot gets a handful of the remaining solid options, poor Gary and Brad were left with the scraps. Sad. 

Let's have a big final year, Gary! You deserve it. Chin up. 

Again, we used to be such a great country. Sad. 

OK, that's it for today. Weird class, I know, but I think we pulled it off pretty well. 

Happy birthday, Alina. And happy birthday, Danica Patrick! She turned 43 yesterday, and the internet celebrated accordingly. 

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You gonna miss Gary? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.