An Alabama Woman Has Sued Lane Kiffin, Donald Trump Jr. & JD Vance For $6 Gazillion

Oh, you think you're having a bad day? At least you didn't wake up to a $6 gazillion lawsuit! 

That's exactly what happened to four of the finest folks America has to offer: Ole Miss coach Lane Kiffin, Donald Trump Jr., Ivanka, and, of course, Florida Gov. JD Vance. 

Nope. That ain't a typo. Not that last part. Not any of it. 

God, I love this country. 

An Alabama woman – Amanda Anne Keller – woke up today and decided today was the day for justice to finally be served. For some reason, she has decided to go after the former president's son and daughter, his running mate, and Lane Kiffin for $6 gazillion in damages. 

That's gazillion with a G!

America reacts to this bombshell

Get 'em, Amanda! Fight the good fight. 

What a humdinger of a lawsuit, huh? Now, nobody can read this thing. It's not just you. It's all of us. It's the most elegant, yet most illegible, handwriting I have ever seen. It's impressive, really. 

There's so much to digest, but we can also only digest so much, because you can't tell what she's suing these fine folks for. 

The first thing that jumps out, to me, at least, is that she appears to refer to JD Vance as the Gov. of Florida. Apparently, he lives in Mar-a-Lago. Color me shocked. Welcome to the Sunshine State, JD!

The second thing, which the internet is really trying to decode here, is the exact amount Amanda is suing for. Some think it's $6 gazillion. Others think it's a measly $1 gazillion. That's a big difference. Feel like the Trumps and Lane Kiffin could cobble up $1 gazillion. But six? That's asking a lot. 

Also … since when did Don Jr. and Ivanka Trump start working for the FBI? Wild little revelation right there, too. I knew the Deep State was deep, but I didn't know it went this deep. Insane. 

Finally … how does Lane Kiffin tie into all of this? Is Alabama Amanda just trying to distract the Lane Train from the upcoming season? It's a shrewd move, but also, it just means more in the SEC. Haven't you heard?

The Rebels are loaded this year. Nick Saban is gone. It's a new era for Alabama and Ole Miss, and you just don't know how folks are gonna react. 

Anyway, I hope justice is served. Amanda clearly has some beef with these four, and it needs to be rectified before the Rebs host Furman here in a few weeks. 

No distractions.