Alabama Rush Girls Report For Duty, Ole Miss QB Cheating Scandal Rocks The SEC & The Latest Sex Craze

First Hump Day of August! What a day. What a week. 

We've got Hard Knocks BACK, preseason football in full swing, exactly 17 days until college football kicks off, and the content out of Paris continues to flow like fine wine. 

For an early-August class, we are LOADED today, which is nice because it means we're slowly coming out of the summer lull. 

There are only so many times I can keep going back to the Jennifer Aniston/Danica Patrick well before you all get annoyed. I get it. It ain't easy in the summer, you know. There's a reason schools take these two months off every year. 

But I think we're safely on the other side of all that, and we're stronger for it. Let's get to humping. 

Welcome to a Wednesday Nightcaps – where we celebrate the return of fall class with the Alabama sorority girls. A tradition like no other, as Jimbo Nantz would say. 

What else? I've got Aussie hurdler Michelle Jenneke – who has the heart of a lion – checking in with a couple nosedives, a cheating scandal at Ole Miss that's rocking Oxford, Skip Bayless nearly taking a punch from Cris Carter, and the newest sex fantasy that's all the rage right now. 

Allegedly, of course. 

Grab something warm from that cabinet tucked away in your kitchen, mix it with something cold, and settle in for a Hump Day 'Cap!

This Aussie hurdler has the heart of a lion, but is it enough?

We're gonna go ahead and start in Paris and work our way back to the states. Sound good? Good!

Credit to Joe Kinsey for alerting me to this – big brother's always looking out for the ugly sibling! He sent it my way this morning, and I've been locked in ever since. Can't get enough of it. 

This Michelle Jenneke is a pistol, and I'd go to battle with her any day of the week. 

The Alabama sorority girls report back for duty 

Unreal fight. If I took a tumble like that on the national stage, there is absolutely no shot I'd get back up and keep going. None. I'd quit so fast, heads would spin. Take my ass and go straight home. Would've even wait for the rest of my team. I'd just vanish. 

But not Michelle Jenneke. She's been a pistol since Day 1, waaaaaaay back in 2014 when she stole our hearts as a little-known 21-year-old hurdler from Australia:

She burst onto the scene then, and she's BACK now with even more #content. It's not how hard you fall, it's how fast you get back up. 

Our girl dragged herself across the finish line just to remain eligible for something called Repechage. No idea what that is, but I'm watching. 

OK, back to the states! Look who's back on campus … 

What a pickle at Ole Miss

The comment on that last video, at least for me, summed it all up perfectly …

Bama Rush is defrosting.

Like flowers blooming in April, this is how we know a new season is upon us. When the Alabama girls start firing off ridiculous social media videos ad nauseam, and dancing to songs none of us have ever heard, THAT's when you know fall semester is about to begin. 

And how about the cameo by Nate Oats?! What a recruiting tactic. 

PS: no shot that's a Ray Rice jersey, right? It HAS to be JK Dobbins. Lord, I hope it is. Who has a Ray Rice jersey just lying around, anyway? No chance. 

In any event, welcome back, Bama Rush girls. Can't wait to see what these new few weeks hold in Tuscaloosa. No more Nick Saban, so it's open season there right now. Nobody knows what to expect, and I sort of enjoy that. 

Roll tide!

Luckily for them, they don't have to face Ole Miss and Jaxson Dart this season. The Rebs are LOADED this fall. Surely nothing can derail them, right …

Skip Bayless, new sex fantasy (not related!) and a solid day for Colorado football

I mean, what a disaster for Lane Kiffin and Co. on the eve of a new season. When Lane talks about Rat Poison, this is what he means. Don't yell at me, Lane! I'm just the messenger!

You can't have your QB1 dealing with relationship drama with an SEC gauntlet staring him in the face. Will Jaxson Dart handle Furman, Middle Tennessee State and Georgia Southern whilst dealing with Lola Sexton fallout? Sure. I could do that. 

But SEC play begins Sept. 28. Georgia comes to town in November. A trip to Florida looms around Thanksgiving (although the Gators will be like 3-7 by then). We need our man to lock it in and handle this head-on. 

Did he cheat on Lola for a year straight? Who knows? Doesn't matter, though. We've got a football season to prepare for. Lock it in. 

OK, rapid-fire time on this Hump Day in August. First up? Let's stick with college football, where we had a social media war break out today between … Colorado and Arkansas?

So, everyone on social media accused the Buffs of faking that first video and editing it together to look like a completed pass. It's not the best video, if we're being honest, so I can see why everyone was so cynical. 

A few hours later, Arkansas fanned the flames with a video of their own, prompting Colorado to issue the full video. 

Is it all petty? Sure. But we LOVE petty around here. It's the lifeblood of blogging, frankly. Without petty drama, this class would be miserable. What, do y'all wanna talk about actual, real-life topics? Come on. Econ 101 is right down the hall!

Next? Let's check in with Skip Bayless and Cris Carter!

My God. I forgot how electric that show used to be. Remember when it was Cold Pizza? What a time to be alive. How about the nuts on Skip? He really is/was a loose cannon. An idiot, but a loose cannon. 

I can say that now that he's gone, right?

Finally … for those wondering what the latest sex trend is, rest easy, I've got your answer: infidelity! 

Heidi Klum hits the beach and takes us home

From the NY Post:

Nova Hawthorne has worked in the sex industry for a while now and while she’s always had clients who were married or in relationships, she’s noticed an uptick in the affair fantasy.

Hawthorne, 29, said she thinks it comes from the "thrill of the forbidden fruit" and people wanting to lean into the taboo of ignoring monogamy.

"The thrill of secrecy and the taboo nature of an affair can really heighten someone’s sense of arousal and pleasure," she told news.com.au.

If the affair trope is your jam, Hawthorne said there are "safe and ethical ways" for individuals to explore that fantasy without cheating.

"Make sure you’ve had a conversation with your partner about your sexual fantasy and check they are on board with some sexy exploration," she advised.

"Roleplaying can be a fun way to tap into a cheating fantasy without compromising your relationship."

Hawthorne said you can really put some effort into it, go out, get dressed up, and pretend to meet your partner for the first time.

Obviously, you all know where I'm going with this, right? Come on. You've been in this class long enough to know what show I'm about to reference:

God, TV used to be so great. 

OK, that's it for today. Enjoy your role-playing, everyone!

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You excited for Bama Rush Week? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.