40 Monkeys Escape A South Carolina Vaccine Bio Lab...Everything Is Fine

South Carolina residents are being urged to close their windows and lock their doors as more than 40 monkeys escaped a vaccine research facility yesterday. 

In a situation similar to a modern day version of Outbreak, the monkeys were able to escape due to human error as the person cleaning the cages forgot to shut one of the doors behind him, allowing the monkeys to run loose as if they were starring in Jumanji.

What could possibly go wrong?

MONKEYS WERE PART OF A VACCINE DEVELOPMENT PROJECT

As of Friday afternoon, authorities said that the 43 Rhesus Macaque monkeys were still on the loose from the Alpha Genesis research facility located in Yemassee, South Carolina. Primarily found in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Southeast Asia and India, this group of monkeys were brought into the United States for medical research purposes and are part of the much larger nearby ‘Monkey Island,’ that houses more than 3,500 of the Macaque monkeys.

Awesome.

But don't worry everyone, as workers were trying to entice them to return by leaving food out! That'll do the trick - just follow the apples!

The primates are believed to all be females and weigh approximately 6-7lbs. But before you start thinking that this is COVID 2024 only with monkeys instead of bats, the facility assures the public that none of these particular monkeys were purposely infected with any type of diseases.. In fact, a spokesperson for Alpha Genesis says that the monkeys are too young to carry disease.

Some on social media, however, are not buying it, especially as a CBS News investigation found that in 2022, Alpha Genesis received eight violations from the U.S. Department of Agriculture. 

MORE PEOPLE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT THIS

In a statement to CBS News, Alpha Genesis CEO Greg Westergaard explained the situation as the monkeys just having fun. 

"They're just being goofy monkeys jumping back and forth playing with each other. It's kind of like a playground situation here," Westergaard began.

"They're jumping down and taking the food and then jumping back up on the fence and the tree line," he continued. "They're watching us the same way we're watching them."

Never have I ever needed a Friday happy hour as much as I do right now.