Epic 'Florida Man' Parlay Featuring Heat, Panthers And Dolphins
Loyalty in sports is a thing of the past. Unless you're this bettor who backed three squads from Florida to win their respective league titles: Miami Heat, Miami Dolphins, and Florida Panthers.
I can only assume this is a Florida Man even though sports betting isn't street-legal in the Sunshine State. This wager falls under Kevin Malone's gambling rules in The Office, which says +10000 odds is an auto-bet.
We can disagree about each leg of this Florida parlay. But, one thing we can all agree on is the payout is juicy. I mean 487,100-to-1 odds for a 3-team title parlay when one team is in the finals and another is a win away seems like good value.
Florida Parlay Leg #1: Miami Heat (+2800)
Somehow the longest shot of this person's parlay is the Miami Heat, who are one game away from the NBA Finals. Miami is up 3-2 on the Boston Celtics in the 2023 Eastern Conference Finals and hosts Game 6.
Boston was a heavy favorite entering this series. The Heat got up 3-0 before the Celtics destroyed them in the next two games. Heat SF Jimmy Butler guaranteed they would beat the Celtics after losing Game 5.
Heat SF Jimmy Butler is hyped vs. the Boston Celtics in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals at Kaseya Center in Miami, Florida. (Megan Briggs/Getty Images)
I'm listening to Butler. Boston is too 3-point dependent and the Celtics are due for an ice-cold shooting performance in either Games 6 or 7. The Heat have the best player in the series (Butler) and the better coach (Erik Spoelstra).
Miami is -135 at DraftKings to beat Boston in the Eastern Conference Finals. However, if the Heat make the NBA Finals, they will be heavy underdogs vs. the Western Conference champion Denver Nuggets.
Parlay Leg #2: Florida Panthers (+700)
The Florida Panthers swept the Carolina Hurricanes in the Stanley Cup Finals out East. Florida awaits the winner of the Dallas Stars vs. Vegas Golden Knights out West to see who wins the Stanley Cup.
Given that the Panthers are a Wild Card team, the Stars are a 2-seed and the Golden Knights are a 1-seed, Florida figures to be 'dogs in the Stanley Cup Finals.
Florida Panthers teammates pose for a photo with the Prince of Wales trophy after defeating the Carolina Hurricanes in the Eastern Conference Finals of the 2023 Stanley Cup Playoffs. (Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports)
I have to be honest, I cannot even weigh in on this parlay leg. Aside from Panthers forward Matthew Tkachuk, I couldn't another hockey player in Florida, Vegas, or Dallas.
All I can say for the Panthers' leg is I wish this Florida Man well.
Florida Parlay Leg #3: Miami Dolphins (+2000)
The Dolphins are a healthy QB Tua Tagovailoa away from being legit Super Bowl contenders. Tua led the NFL in touchdown rate in 2022 and Miami started 3-0 start before Tua was concussed in Week 4.
Last season, Tua was 2nd behind Patrick Mahomes in expected points added per play and the Dolphins were 4th in passing efficiency, according to Football Outsiders.
Dolphins QB Tua Tagovailoa throws a pass vs. the Pittsburgh Steelers during a game at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida. (Megan Briggs/Getty Images)
Miami WRs Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle make up a top-three WR corp in the NFL. Dolphins' 2nd-year coach Mike McDaniel was an offensive guru in his rookie season and Tua looked like a franchise QB.
The Dolphins hiring Vic Fangio to be their defensive coordinator is another reason why I like this parlay leg. Miami's defense has playmakers on all three levels and Fangio is one of the best defensive minds in the NFL.
It's obvious given the +487100 odds that this Florida sports parlay probably won't cash. But, if we are being real, this isn't the craziest thing a Florida Man will do on Memorial Day weekend.