Women Reveal Their Biggest Dating App Red Flags & I Did The Dumbest Thing Ever

I pulled the dumbest woman move of all time. Here's how it went down.

As I was preparing to head out to the gym this morning, I hit the remote start to warm up my car. I stuck my head out the door, pushed the button ...but nothing happened.

That's weird.

So I bundled up, grabbed my shoes, my headphones and my purple drink and I trekked out to my freezing car. I got inside. It won't start.

Oh, no. Oh, God...

See, my car is very quiet (shout out to GMC for the fine engineering), and it has a push button start. On occasion, I will run into — say — the grocery store and forget to push the button to turn it off. I've actually done that more times than I care to admit.

But never have I ever (until last night) forgotten to turn off the car in my driveway.

Yeah... That Terrain sat outside running all night until it ran out of gas and the battery died.

So there I sat at 7 a.m. in my icy cold, dead vehicle — mentally preparing myself to break the news to my husband that he married an idiot.

In My Defense... I Have No Defense.

Mike was equal parts amused and utterly flabbergasted.

"How?" he asked me no less than 20 times.

And the best explanation I can give is that I was really, really excited to get home last night. I had flowers, I had champagne, and I had plans to pull a lacy little outfit out of my sexy drawer. Because yesterday was the anniversary of our first date.

We females love that sort of thing.

But that brings me to our Womansplaining topic of the week: online dating.

I met my husband on a dating app — Hinge, to be exact. I had profiles on the apps for a long time, but I hardly ever used them. Usually, I'd only log on if I were drunk or exceptionally bored.

One night in January 2020, I was both. I matched with a guy named Mike, he took me out to dinner, and — next thing he knows — he's standing out in the snow refueling and jumping the car I left on overnight.

Life comes at you fast.

I know I'm one of the lucky ones.

For every online dating success story, there are 1,000 Tinder nightmares. I hear stories from my friends on dating apps, and I do not envy them. Not even a little bit.

But then I thought, What can I do to help my readers navigate the online dating jungle?

So gather 'round, single fellas. I'm here to help you put your best foot forward.

Women Share Their Dating App Red Flags

I asked a Facebook group of 58,000 women to tell me their biggest dating app red flags.

What is one thing on a man's dating profile that will instantly make you swipe left or un-match?

I got hundreds of responses, but they all boiled down to the same seven answers.

And — perhaps surprisingly — none of them had anything to do with looks, height or holding a fish.

So let's get to it.

7. Kids In Photos

This doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to date a man who has children. They just feel it's irresponsible to put your child's face on a dating app.

"I understand loving your children and making it very clear that they are a part of your life," one woman wrote. "But also, it's an app where hundreds of people can just access your stuff and keep on keeping on. Like I've seen what people do to grown women's posts on the Internet. I would never put a picture of my child on Tinder or any other app."

6. Photos With Women

Other than maybe your mom.

One time, a guy told me he includes photos of himself with hot girls on his dating profile because it sends a subliminal message that he's a catch "since he can get hot women."

And if that's not the dumbest thing I've ever heard, it's in the top 10.

Just like your wife or girlfriend doesn't want to look at pictures of you with your ex, potential matches don't want to feel like it's a competition before they've even gone on a first date.

5. Can't Hold A Conversation

I think one of the reasons dating apps could not keep my interest is because many of the men simply could not hold a stimulating conversation.

Just an endless stream of, Hey, wyd? Sup? How was your day? over and over again until we both lose interest and quit talking to each other.

I'd say about 99 percent of dating app matches never make it out of the chat.

4. "Not Into Drama"

This was a new one for me, but A LOT of women said it. So clearly, it's a common line on men's dating profiles.

"If he has 'not into drama' in his bio, it means he IS the drama," one woman wrote.

Apparently a lot of men also don't like women who "take themselves seriously."

3. They Want To Talk On Snapchat

"What's your snap?"

Three words that will make any woman's eyes roll to the back of her head — and not in a fun way.

If a grown man only wants to communicate on Snapchat, he is in a relationship or married. Every single time. You might as well write "I'm a cheater" on your forehead and call it a day.

2. Shirtless Photos

This one was my answer, and I'm glad to see I'm not alone. Because this got the second-most mentions out of all the red flags.

A fundamental difference between men and women: If a very hot woman posts a half naked selfie on a dating app, every single man is swiping right. If a very hot man posts a shirtless mirror selfie on a dating app, women are repulsed.

The shirtless mirror selfie (or maybe worse, the pulling-up-my-shirt-to-show-my-abs selfie) is the dead giveaway of douchery. I don't care if the guy is built like a renaissance statue — I want nothing to do with the level of narcissism he brings to the table.

And — drum roll — the No. 1 answer from the Facebook group. The BIGGEST red flag...

1. Getting Sexual Too Quickly

The ladies have spoken.

If a man immediately starts talking about sex or — God forbid — sends an unsolicited dick pic, it's game over.

"Not only is it annoying if a guy goes immediately to sex, but it also tells me he's talking like that to any woman who will entertain it," one woman wrote.

Just so the men know: If a woman has ever played along with your sexting, then she really likes you. Because that does nothing for us. Dudes get so worked up and horny when they're sexting. Meanwhile, she's in the kitchen microwaving noodles in her baggy flannel jammies.

So there you have it, fellas. Cleanse your dating profiles of these seven things and you'll be a certifiable online chick magnet!

Curious to hear your thoughts on these — and your red flags for women. Email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com.

Rapid Fire Of Internet Stuff I Liked:

Guys, stop believing the women you see on Instagram actually look like that.

Oh no, you're onto us.

Yes. No notes.

I need to see his reaction when he meets the catfish.

Mixed signals.

I don't think this is unique to men because I simply cannot walk behind my husband without doing this very thing.

Happy Ending

In 2018, a man posted a YouTube video titled simply "Being ugly." He talks about the pressures of social media and says he feels depressed because of his appearance.

A girl named Juli commented on the video: "I actually think you’re kinda cute tbh. I mean it."

She reached out to him on Discord.

They dated long distance for a while, then she flew out to Sweden to meet him for the first time. Two weeks turned into three months and then a year...

And BOOM. They're married now.

Maybe online dating isn't so miserable after all.

Womansplaining is a weekly column about dating, marriage, sex and relationships that runs on Fridays.

Email your thoughts, questions, stories and gripes to Amber.Harding@OutKick.com or tweet her @TheAmberHarding.