Paul Pierce Values Farting In Peace, Thinks Marriage Is Only For Poor And Old People
If you're going to take relationship advice from anyone this week, please make sure it's not Paul Pierce.
During an extended rant on his The Truth After Dark podcast, the former NBA superstar shared his unfiltered thoughts on marriage — calling it a scam for the broke and elderly, and claiming it has "no advantages" for men. All while wearing a knockoff Hugh Hefner bathrobe and with the confidence of a man who’s never done his own laundry.
But I'm an open-minded individual, so I'll hear him out.
Paul Pierce has some unconventional thoughts about marriage.
(Photo by Joe Murphy/NBAE via Getty Images)
First, Paul comes in hot with this wisdom bomb: "Let me say what marriage is and who marriage is for: Marriage is for old people and poor people."
Ah yes. The holy union of matrimony — once a cornerstone of family life, now downgraded to a broke man’s tax strategy. Or just a fallback plan for geriatric playboys who can't pull tail anymore.
Paul believes, in the olden days, marriage used to be a financially strategic move. It was a way for couples to combine incomes and raise a bunch of kids whose labor they could then exploit to help them pay the bills.
"When you broke, our parents, like my moms and all them, they married on a merit of like, ‘okay, we’re gonna put our incomes together, have all these kids… we’ll have five, 10 kids,’" he explained. "Back in the 60s, all them, they got five, 10 kids so they can work and bring income."
Paul apparently thinks everyone in the 1960s lived on a farm, where all the children in America spent their days tending livestock and pushing plows.
But then came the real kicker: Paul believes marriage only benefits women — that there's "no advantage" for a man getting married.
No advantage. None. Zip. Nada. Just a legal ceremony where you give up your God-given right to fart freely under the covers (more on that in a moment).
Paul Pierce and Julie Landrum were married for 13 years and have three children together.
(Photo by Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage)
But before we dissect the logic here, it's important to point out that Paul Pierce was, in fact, married.
He and Julie Landrum tied the knot in 2010 and had three kids together before they split in 2023. So yes — the man preaching about the perils of marriage did the thing, benefited from the thing, and now, post-divorce, wants to rewrite the whole narrative like it never happened.
Paul Pierce: There's ‘No Advantage' For A Man To Get Married
Of course, Paul brings up the oldest, tiredest, Andrew-Tateist argument in the book: "What does it do for a man when things go south? Like, we gonna have to give up half our this, pay child support, pay... It’s only advantageous to a woman. Like, it’s real talk."
OK, a few things here:
- While divorce does happen all too often, couples don't (or at least they shouldn't) enter into a marriage with the expectation that things will eventually go south.
- Is he arguing that men shouldn't have to pay child support? That they shouldn't have to help feed, shelter and clothe the children that share half their DNA?
- What if the man is the one who causes the marriage to go south? Like, say, he's an NBA player who cheats on his wife while he's on the road? Should his wife, who gave birth to and cared for his children, then be left with nothing? Of course, I'm not saying that women are never at fault, but to declare that the man is always the victim of a failed marriage is objectively false.
- Paul Pierce made nearly $200 million from NBA contracts alone — and that doesn't include endorsement deals, appearance fees or other income. Is this dude really complaining about having to shell out some of that money for his children?
But aside from all that nonsense, let's break down the actual advantages that men enjoy from a healthy marriage.
According to research from Harvard Health, married men live longer, and they have lower rates of heart disease, stroke and depression. Married men are also more likely to survive cancer than unmarried men, and they're less likely to die from surgery or serious illness. According to the Institute for Family Studies, married men also earn more on average than their single peers and are 55 percent less likely to be living in poverty.
My own unscientific research shows me married men also enjoy countless other advantages, including someone to remember birthdays, to keep them alive through flu season and to put away the laundry that's been sitting in the dryer for five days.
I'm also guessing Paul benefited at least a little bit from Julie birthing his children and taking care of them while he was away playing basketball.
Paul Pierce Might Get Married Again …When He's 70
Despite his general aversion to marriage, Paul might consider tying the knot again someday.
"I don’t think it’s realistic long term until I turn 70," he said. "Until I turn 70, that’s the only realistic part. It’s because we both old. We ain’t out in the streets, we at home watching TV. You go take me to the hospital, I’m gonna take you to the hospital. That’s it. But right now, I’m too cracking right now."
Ah. So marriage does have value — just not until you need someone to drive you to your prostate exam.
It’s truly something to hear a 47-year-old man say he won’t settle down until he’s 70, as if women are going to be lining up to change his adult diapers and pass him the remote while he reminisces about his heroics in the 2008 NBA Finals.
Actually, I take that back. That exact plan worked for Bill Belichick …kind of.
Jury is still out on whether 73-year-old Bill Belichick is happy with his decision to date someone who could be his granddaughter.
(Photo by Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images)
Overall, Paul just believes women don't bring peace to a man's life.
"There’s no such thing as somebody living with you on a day-to-day basis bringing peace," he said. "It’s always gonna be something. Because you’re gonna have a bad day where I’ll have a good day, and that’s not gonna be peaceful for me. I’m gonna come home like, damn.
"Something’s gonna happen to where you go hijack my emotions, so that’s not peaceful. You feel me? Peace is peace, and peace is me by myself."
Sir. Please. Let’s not pretend men are Zen masters of domestic tranquility.
I’ve dated men who brought a lot of things into my life. One brought credit card debt. One brought emotional instability and anger issues. One brought another woman back to his hotel room. Not one of them brought peace. (Until I met my husband, of course.)
And I'm certainly not here just to dump on men. Peace in a relationship is a two-way street. My husband brings peace to my life. He makes things easier, steadier, better — and I’d like to think he’d say the same about me. That’s just mutual respect, and it doesn’t sound like Paul has much experience with it.
So maybe the issue isn’t marriage. Maybe the issue is Paul Pierce.
And Here's Where His Argument Really Falls Off The Rails
It's the grand finale, if you will. This is where the 10-time NBA All-Star describes a day in his life as a single bachelor.
"I come home, I watch TV, I make my own food, I go to bed, I work out," he began. "I wake up at 5:30, I roll over in the bed, I’m leaned this way, I fart or whatever, I do whatever in my bed. That’s peace. I’m cool. I can live, snore or whatever. I ain’t got nobody complaining about nothing."
OK, Paul. You've lost us completely.
According to Paul Pierce, this is what true peace and happiness looks like.
(Getty Images)
First of all, if a nearly-50-year-old woman made a video bragging about her mundane single life (a la Chelsea Handler), the Internet would call her a miserable cat lady who is just trying to cope with her loneliness. But I digress.
Second, if the only thing keeping you from marriage is the ability to pass gas in peace, I have good news: You’re already living your dream, Paul. No one’s stopping you. Have at it. Air it out.
But if flatulence is the hill you’re choosing to die on — not trust, not compatibility, not shared goals and building a family… just bedtime toots — then maybe sit this one out when we’re talking about healthy adult relationships.
Try Metamucil. Or therapy.
Let's Bring This On Home
Now, despite the flawed logic he used to reach this conclusion, I will give Paul this much: I do believe marriage is not for everyone. Just like having kids is not for everyone. And if you absolutely, enthusiastically don't want to do those things, then you shouldn't do them.
Paul is not wrong that a lot of people — especially celebrities and professional athletes — get married before they’re ready. I’ve worked in that world for a long time. I’ve seen the rushed weddings, the side pieces, the hidden phones, the PR cover-ups. It's gross, and it's an insult to the institution of marriage.
That’s why I actually have mad respect for guys like Derek Jeter. The man was basically the Michael Jordan of bachelorhood. He dated a string of beautiful women during his playing days, handed out parting gift baskets (allegedly), and waited until he was actually ready before settling down to become a husband and father.
And now? Jeet is married, stable, raising kids in peace and not airing out bitterness about his past life decisions on podcasts.
So look, if you’ve been burned by marriage, I get it. But painting the whole thing as a scam because it didn’t work out for you is like swearing off restaurants because you once had a bad Applebee’s riblet.
Plenty of couples are out here building real, peaceful partnerships. If you're not into that, Paul Pierce, that's cool.
Just don’t confuse your fart-filled bachelor pad for enlightenment.
Before We Go: Mother's Day Weekend Has Arrived
That means you only have a few days left, procrastinators!
If you haven't already, check out the 2025 Womansplaining Mother's Day Gift Guide. There are plenty of last-minute ideas there to make sure the mother of your children feels way more appreciated this weekend than the mother of Paul Pierce's children feels after that podcast.
See you next week!
Womansplaining is a weekly column about dating, marriage, sex and relationships that runs on Wednesdays (usually).
Email your thoughts, questions, stories and gripes to Amber.Harding@OutKick.com or tweet her @TheAmberHarding.