Womansplaining Mailbag: Dining & Dashing On A First Date, Cringey Women On TikTok, New Baby Protocol & More
My inbox runneth over.
We're officially eight months into Womansplaining, and we've covered everything from online dating to stupid TikTok trends, weddings, feminism, celebrity break-ups, lingerie, gift guides and even the elusive female orgasm.
I always ask for your input, and week after week, y'all never disappoint. I'm grateful for all the feedback I've gotten from readers — both via email and tagging me on social media. So today, I think it's time for a massive mailbag dump.
Buckle up: We're going to watch a woman go berserk on her boyfriend in the airport, and we'll hear from a guy who dined and dashed on a Hinge date. Plus, I'll try to defend a group of female office workers who are getting ripped to shreds on the Internet for dancing and chanting at work.
What do you want to see in Womansplaining? Send your thoughts, complaints, questions, stories and viral videos to me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com.
Without further ado, let's open the mailbag.
Woman Loses It On Her Boyfriend In Airport
A woman (who looks a lot like Billie Eilish but is not actually Billie Eilish) went viral over the weekend after she was caught on video screaming in her boyfriend's face at the Fort Lauderdale airport.
In an expletive-ridden tirade, she tells the guy he's a "dumbf*ck," a "loser" and that she hates him. Meanwhile, the guy keeps his cool — staring at the floor with his hoodie pulled over his head — presumably out of sheer embarrassment.
Watch:
Ryan in Illinois Writes: What do you think this guy did?
Judging just by her reaction, I can only assume he murdered her entire family.
But in all seriousness, how does someone get away with acting like this in an airport? They'll yank you out of that TSA line for having too much shampoo, but somehow going scorched earth in the waiting area isn't seen as a security threat?
Or maybe she was just hoping to become an Internet star like Tiffany Gomas! She just forgot the part where you have to be hot and funny to pull that off.
Regardless — I don't care where that plane is going — if I'm that guy, I'm picking up my bag, and I'm walking out of the airport.
Speaking of…
Man Dines & Dashes On A Hinge Date
Generally speaking, I'd say it's NOT OK to sneak out in the middle of a date and stick the other person with the bill. But in this guy's case, I'll make an exception.
A TikToker who goes by Johnny America (I'm guessing that's not his real name, but it'd be cooler if it was) posted a video detailing a miserable first date he experienced with someone he met on Hinge.
Johnny claimed he reached out to the woman about meeting up for lunch, thinking it would be "something casual." She wanted hibachi, and he agreed. Then, she showed up to the date with a friend. The two women ordered a bunch of drinks and surf & turf, expecting Johnny to pick up the tab for both of them.
So after the meal, he got up and told the ladies he was going to the bathroom. Instead, he walked right out the front door.
Excellent execution. No notes.
The more I think about it, actually, there are some circumstances when it's OK to dip in the middle of a date.
Several years ago, I went on a first date with a guy at a beer garden. And we just did not jive. It was awkward from the moment we arrived, we had nothing to talk about, and it was clear the date was going nowhere. At one point, I got up to go to the restroom. When I came back, he was gone. We never spoke again.
He DID pay for the beers, though.
When I told my friends about it, they tried to console me — thinking I'd be sad or embarrassed over it. I was not. Y'all, I was RELIEVED. By simply ending the terrible date, that guy saved us both so much awkwardness.
Have you ever left in the middle of a first date? Or have you been ditched by a date? I want to hear the story! Email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com.
Let's Talk About The ‘Gen Z Boss & A Mini’ Video
When I saw this clip making its rounds on Twitter / X, I knew it was only a matter of time before someone sent it to me. And here we are.
AJ Writes: Amber… explain yourself. And by you, I mean women.
OK, AJ. I will try. In the video, a bunch of 20-something female office workers take turns chanting about their appearance:
Gen Z boss and a mini! Itty bitty t*tties and a bob! Five-foot-3 and an attitude! Secret pouch and a trench! New Frank Green and a sneaky link! Fake tan hands and a hoop!
I don't like to throw the word "cringe" around all willy-nilly because I think it's overused, but this… this is worthy of that descriptor.
In their defense, though, these women didn't start this trend. The chant was inspired by another video that went viral on TikTok in late June. The original shows three women dancing on the sidewalk and chanting while describing their outfits.
And I'm not gonna lie, "boots and a slicked back bun" kinda goes hard. I even caught myself singing it while I was getting ready the other day. (Sue me, OK?)
Even some celebrities have joined in. Amy Poehler posted an outfit-chanting video of her own — featuring Rashida Jones and Rachel Dratch — that has racked up more than 45 million views on TikTok.
I watched that video a few times before I noticed that was Seth Meyers creeping around in the background.
Anyway, back to the office girls. Clearly, that particular video reached far beyond its intended audience, and the Internet ripped them to shreds.
Like Sherrie here, who is probably really fun at parties.
And then came the comments from the peanut gallery (aka the red-pill manosphere): Fire them all! Bring back the gender pay gap! I feel sorry for the men who are actually working in this office!
So in an incredibly self-aware move, the women made another video. But this time, they danced and chanted to some of the hateful comments.
Moving forward, I've decided this is how I'm going to handle mean emails that you guys send me.
Y'all Are On The Same Page With The Lingerie Ads
Last week, I wrote about a partnership between Bluebella — a UK-based lingerie company — and three Olympic women's rugby players. Their "Strong Is Beautiful" campaign sparked outrage from some who argued the ads were regressive and insulting to women. I argued the opposite.
READ: Haters Say This Ad Campaign Is 'Regressive,' But I Say Let The Olympians Wear Lingerie
Anonymous Writes: Amber, you are right as always. I guess it's selective criticism as expected since there were crickets when Skims had WNBA players pose in underwear. Where's the "regressive" outrage there?
Daniel C. Writes: Not sure where all the fear & alarm is here? I don't really pay much attention to the perpetually outraged. If you have a life, or are just miserable, how does something like that even gain steam? They have every right to do what they want. And anyone expressing their moral outrage… Wait until the trans athlete playing women's sports get his/her/pronoun lingerie ad!
Tom B. Writes: Regarding your lingerie column (and I agree with you completely… chuckled at the JC Penney catalog joke), Martina Navratilova might be the most contradictory "celebrity" out there right now. She's against men playing women's sports, but she defends every other stupid liberal policy. She's even been celebrating the Trump assassination attempt on Twitter and making fun of him for wearing a bandaid on his ear!
So it didn't completely surprise me that she "got her panties in a twist" (your words) about that Bluebella Olympic campaign. But lady… do you support women or not?
Amber:
As I said in the column and y'all reiterated here: The Bluebella campaign is absolutely no different than SKIMS partnering with the WNBA and NBA. Or male athletes appearing nearly naked in Calvin Klein ads. Or Sports Illustrated Swimsuit or even the old ESPN The Body Issue, for that matter. I truly can't understand why those rugby players took so much heat for doing what hundreds of athletes have done before them.
And Tom, you're spot on about Martina Navratilova. She confuses me, too.
Of course, you can be a Democrat or a Republican without falling completely along party lines on every single issue. But I don't understand how she can be such a strong supporter of fairness in women's sports but also advocate so hard for the politicians who are trying to erase them. Make it make sense.
Everyone Loves Grandma Babs
In honor of the Fourth of July, I shared some grilling hacks from a TikTok personality named Babs. And turns out, these tips were really helpful for you grillmasters out there.
READ: Grilling Isn't Just For The Guys: More Women Are Embracing Their Inner Grillmaster …But Why?
Drew: Kinda mad my grandma never taught me that.
John W. writes: Been grilling a long time and never heard the onion thing. Now I can throw away this nasty old grill brush my wife always complains about.
Tony C.: Maybe I'm just late to the party, but the propane trick was a game changer. Usually my method is to hope I have enough and then run out of propane at the most inopportune time possible.
Homebrew Bill Needs To Know New Baby Protocol
My niece lives a little over an hour away from us, and she and her husband had their first child in May. About the time he was born, I was having health issues, and we haven't seen him in person yet. We did send a gift of a Target gift card shortly after he was born.
While talking with my mom earlier today, I was basically told that I'm a bad uncle/great uncle because we haven't seen him yet. My argument was we were waiting for an invitation when it's convenient for the parents and didn't want to invite ourselves up there to create more work for them. My wife and niece have texted occasionally since his birth and nothing about a visit has been mentioned.
You're better versed in this than me. Am I the a$$hole for not visiting?
Amber:
Funny you should ask, Bill. Not to brag, but I am somewhat of an expert at handling the births of nieces and nephews. Counting my great nieces and nephews, I have 26 total. (Seriously, they can't stop popping them out.) And none of them live in the same state as I do.
Logistically, it is simply not possible for me to be present at every birth, every birthday, every dance recital, every little league game, whatever. But I can buy a gift from an Amazon wishlist like a champ!
So Bill, you did the right thing by sending a congratulatory gift. And you are 100000% correct not to invite yourself to visit brand new parents who are probably already overwhelmed. In fact, many new moms prefer not to have visitors for a while after giving birth because they need that time to bond and acclimate without having to worry about "hosting" or accommodating guests. (Plus, that post-partum time period is a real b*tch.)
Watch:
That said, given that you're only an hour-ish away, you can still offer to visit.
Shoot her a text: "Can't wait to meet [insert baby name]. I know you have a lot on your plate, so just let us know when you're ready for visitors, and we're there!"
Boom. Now you're not an asshole or an inconvenience.
Daniel C. Has Thoughts On Couples Getting Too Comfortable
READ: Are You Way Too Comfortable In Your Relationship? Here Are The Tell-Tale Signs
I feel like this topic is important and, hopefully, could go on for some time...are you ready to be the next "Dear Abby?"
You stop caring about your physical appearance: I'm going against society on this one! The bar is so low that the Walmart shopper is acceptable attire everywhere!
You act more like roommates or co-workers than lovers: This doesn't usually end well. One leaves a relationship emotionally before physically leaving, and to get here, it's probably more apathy than complacency. There are certainly enough songs lamenting it!
"She thinks, we look at each other, wondering what the other is thinking, but we never say a word and these crimes between us grow deeper" — Dave Matthews Band
"When you see through love's illusion, there lies the danger..." — Jackson Browne
You take each other for granted: You can become a victim of your own standards (latte dude or mothers on Mother's Day). The first day you don't do something you own it can lead to hurt feelings.
You're a little too open with your bodily functions: Can we include friends (mixed company) drinking beers on the deck and urinating on a bush instead of taking 5 extra steps to go in the actual bathroom?
You stop dating each other: When did this start? How many dates are required, 1/week, 5/month?
No rule that you can't be romantic, kind, loving and physically attracted and convey that often! There are special days for that: 1st date, anniversary, birthdays, even the most romantic holiday of the year — VD (pun intended).
![](http://images.outkick.com/static.outkick.com/www.outkick.com/content/uploads/2024/07/668/376/GettyImages-1152723413.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)
Bring her flowers. Just trust me.
(Getty Images)
Amber:
I think a lot of people misinterpret the "Never stop dating your spouse" thing. That doesn't mean, literally, take her on dates all the time. (Although you should do that sometimes, too.) It just means continuing to do the things that made that person fall in love in the first place. It means putting forth effort even though you've already secured the prize. And it means surprising her with flowers sometimes — not just on her birthday or your anniversary. (And, of course, women should be making an effort, too. It's not all on you guys.)
Plus, dates don't always have to be these big, grand outings. When's the last time you brought home a bottle of wine, lit some candles, put your phones away and turned on her favorite movie?
Not trying to get sappy on you here, but couples who stop doing these things — the couples who take each other for granted — are the ones who end up in that dreaded "roommate phase" and complain that there's no passion and they never have sex anymore.
Don't let that happen! Date your wife.
Mark S. On Vacationing As A Couple
READ: Vacation Planning: What To Do? How Much To Pack? Sometimes Men And Women Just Do It Differently
I like to get up early and my wife likes to sleep in. Not only that, but she spends much more time "getting ready" once she's up. I used to go stir-crazy waiting around our room until it was time to go do things, but we have what I think is a great solution: We bring our dog!
When I get up, I take Cooper for a walk while she sleeps in. Since we are on vacation, we are by definition in "cool places," so the walks are always enjoyable and sometimes even memorable.
That allows my wife time for her preferred approach to the day, and after we get back from dinner, it's nice to have the dog around. He likes the travel, too.
Amber:
Perfect solution. Dogs make everything better.
I'm in the same boat as you, Mark. My husband loves to sleep in on vacation, and he takes his time getting going in the morning. Meanwhile, I'm up at the crack of down and ready to rock & roll. (I don't blame him for it — it's his vacation, too.)
So when I get up, it's just me and the doggo for a while. We never fly when we go on vacation. We always drive so that we can bring her. She loves to travel, and, since she's 15 years old, I like to soak up every second I can get with her.
Speaking of dogs…
Next Week: Is Your Pet Keeping You Single?
Pets are not only a part of our family, but they also sometimes play a role in our relationships. So I want to hear your stories!
Have you ever not dated someone because of their pet? Do you and your significant other disagree on rules for the pet? (For example: dogs sleeping in the bed!) Would you turn away a potential partner just because your dog or cat didn't like them?
Email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com!
One More Thing
When women say "sexting," this is what we mean…
Womansplaining is a weekly column about dating, marriage, sex and relationships that runs on Wednesdays at noon ET.
Email your thoughts, questions, stories and gripes to Amber.Harding@OutKick.com or tweet her @TheAmberHarding.