Guy Teaches Golf Pro How To Golf & Why I Never Reveal What I Do For A Living
Picture this: It's summer 2013 in Phoenix, Ariz. I had just finished grad school at ASU and landed a sweet gig as a real-time correspondent for Major League Baseball. My mom is in town from Indiana to visit me.
We go to my favorite little neighborhood tavern and grab a seat at the bar. A slightly drunk guy next to me starts chatting us up. My mother, who is the friendliest and sweetest people-person on this spinning planet, is happy to oblige.
"What are you ladies out doing tonight?" he asks.
"Just grabbing some dinner. This is my daughter. She works here now, so I'm in town visiting," Mom responds.
"Oh yeah? What do you do?" he says to me.
Before I could open my mouth, my very proud mom chimes in, "She's a reporter for MLB!"
Big sigh. Here we go.
The man immediately puts on his "smart sports guy" cap and starts quizzing me about the (short) history of Arizona Diamondbacks, the current state of the NL West, top prospects in the upcoming draft and any other knowledge he had stored in his messy-haired noggin.
Since the beginning of my career and to this day, I do not tell male strangers what I do for a living. It's not because I'm rude or unfriendly. It's because I know the inevitable line of questioning that comes next.
And I already know what you're going to say: "Well, maybe they're just finding common ground and making conversation!" No. Because the conversation goes like this:
"Oh, I like your beanie. You're a Dolphins fan?"
"I am."
"Name five players."
That's usually followed up with a line of "gotcha" questions to show how smart at sports they are. Same goes when they find out I'm a sportswriter. Which is wild to me because I'm certainly not going to Jiffy Lube and quizzing the employees on their knowledge of a vehicle's engine lubrication system. I just assume they know about that sort of thing.
And then there's always my favorite question. And EVERY woman in this industry will tell you she's been asked this 100 times: "So how many players have you dated?"
Imagine meeting someone who works for — I don't know — Fifth-Third Bank, and immediately asking them, "Nice, so how many tellers have you banged?"
Nope. Much easier to lie and tell them I work in ad sales.
Dude Mansplains Golf To Pro Golfer Georgia Ball
Before y'all revolt… I am certainly not saying ALL men are guilty of this sort of behavior. In fact, if you enjoy my columns, I'm fairly confident you would not be a "name five players" kind of guy.
But I tell you all of this because when I saw the viral video of the man trying to teach the pro golf woman how to swing… I felt that in my soul.
I won't rehash the whole thing because my colleague Matt Reigle broke it down perfectly on Thursday. But basically, a man took the liberty of approaching a woman he doesn't know at the driving range in an effort to "fix" her golf swing. Turns out, though, the woman is a PGA pro.
Watch and try not to cringe:
She was so much nicer than I would have been. Regardless, Georgia isn't getting too worked up about the dude's audacity.
"It was an awkward conversation at the time, but I was just concentrating on what I was doing," she said. "I am glad I can look back on it now and see the funny side to it."
Sky News asked her if she considered putting the man in his place. But Georgia said she's too "humble" to call someone out like that.
Kudos to her for handling the situation with grace. But interesting how she chooses to be "humble" while the guy was the complete opposite of humble.
Nut up, ladies.
BIG NEWS: Womansplaining Is Moving To Wednesdays!
Starting next week, we are officially moving this column to Wednesdays. Send your thoughts, comments, questions, reactions, everything to Amber.Harding@outkick.com, and all will be addressed for your lunchtime entertainment on Wednesdays.
Speaking of the mailbag, let's open it.
Rick Has The Last Word On Brittany Mahomes
Amber, love the addition of Womansplaining to OutKick. Been reading this site for years. I don't normally write in but felt compelled to chime in on your comment of not commenting on other women if you are in a relationship.
I've been married to the same lady for 37 years and I have always heeded what my dad told me at a young age. With women as well as life, it is better to be quiet and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt! Hope you have a great week and keep up the good work. We men need all the help we can get!
Amber:
You're wise, Rick, and that's why you've been married for 37 years.
If you missed last week, Rick's referring to my advice that taken men should not offer their unsolicited opinions on other women's bodies. And I meant that wholeheartedly.
Look, I'm not an idiot. As much as I'd love to believe that I'm the only woman in the world my husband finds attractive, I know that's not the case. However, there is absolutely zero reason for him to TELL ME when he finds another woman attractive.
Some thoughts are better off staying in your brain, fellas.
Doug — AKA Zaddy Bear — Has Unlocked The Secret
Kinda late on this, but thanks for your bit on Zaddy and the "naughty" Build-a-Bears. May just have to take my lady there. I went to one of those wine & canvas deals a while back. She had to drag me, but don't tell anyone… It was surprisingly a good time. And as the only man, I got big props from the other women there. Oh he's such a good boyfriend! I wish mine took me on cute dates! Buddies roasted me pretty hard. You know I'm beta/whipped and all, but guess who got laid that night?
Admittedly, my painting was unimpressive. I keep it at work and tell everyone my little niece did it for me. More brownie points from the ladies.
Amber:
Standing ovation, Doug.
I don't have scientific data to back this up, but I'm pretty sure I'm correct here: The men who are "too cool" to do things that make their women happy also tend to be tremendously well acquainted with their own right hand.
Fight me if you want. But I'm not wrong.
Boring Norm Is Back, Baby, And He's Telling All
If you're new here, Boring Norm is the early-2000s Craigslist Dating Champ. A couple of weeks ago, he shared with us the "Minefield" ad that absolutely slayed online before online dating was cool. He also kept a spreadsheet to track his conquests and had multiple different Craigslist ads — all with varying levels of success.
We now have more info on his multiple ads. Please enjoy.
Most first dates were actually drink dates. Maybe split an appetizer with about half offering to split the tab. I’d pay, but if they wanted to be an empowered female, I wasn’t saying no. Fair mix between chains and local dives. Two of those ended in car blowjobs, but neither of those two had a second date. (Thinking to myself, how many times have you done this?)
All shades and ages. I wasn’t saying no to anyone who agreed to an in-person meetup. I was turning 30, and their ages ranged from a 21-year-old Mills College junior (No second date.) to a forty-something single mother (Six plus.) Exciting times.
I had about six different dating ads. The Minefield ad was responsible for about 80% of responses. The other ads were also lost in the HDD crash, but were:
- A generic ad, very basic vanilla… I have a hard time meeting women ad. This was the control. Few responses; mostly undesirables or SPAM responses.
- There was an ad claiming I was giving up and retiring from dating. This was probably a bit unethical, alluding to, "I’ll kill myself if you don’t…" ad. This had a few call outs from people looking to help, but no dating responses.
- There was a "tall, blue-eyed blonde ‘boy toy’ looking for an exotic Asian goddess" ad. I was working a common Bay Area niche, where, while Asian chicks tend to like tall blue-eyed blondes, they don’t tend to shop on Craigslist. Few responses.
- Blatant evil ad, "Need a green card? Willing to trade sex?" This was never serious, and I only received a couple of responses in broken English, to which I never responded. I am proud to report this ad received a lot of hate mail.
- Minefield would have been number five.
- I can’t recall ad number six. It might have been a rotating ad, something written on a whim. So, variable.
This email was much longer than I anticipated.
Amber:
OK, I have a few thoughts.
1. All of us have things in our past we aren't proud of. First-date car blow jobs might be on that list for anyone who's ever engaged in one. And for crystal clarity, I am not one of those people.
Brief tangent: Do y'all remember when Baker Mayfield cheated on his gorgeous wife with a woman from Snapchat who gave him a blowie in the Cheesecake Factory parking lot?
Full stop, cheating is never OK. But the number of men out here cheating on the beautiful mothers of their children with rotten potatoes is puzzling and, quite frankly, embarrassing.
Also, I would never call a woman a rotten potato if she didn't deserve it.
OK, back to Boring Norm.
2. It is 1000% unethical to threaten suicide over a potential first date, and OutKick doesn't recommend this strategy to anyone.
3. As a 90-Day Fiancé super fan, I can tell you with complete confidence, Norm, that you simply placed your "Green Card" ad on the wrong website.
Last week, I talked about the Usher performance at the Super Bowl and his maybe-not-so-platonic hug with Alicia Keys. I asked your opinion. You delivered. Let's dive in…
Anonymous Is Throwing A Penalty Flag On Usher
In response to the Usher hug, I have to admit this. I agree with you. I consider the bear hug from behind reserved for the woman I am seeing/romantically interested in. If that was my woman, it would be quite problematic.
I asked a whole bunch of my male friends live, when it occurred, during the Super Bowl. (The female friends were not asked, because they were enjoying the performance, let’s just say.) Many claimed that Usher and Alicia are performers and saw no issue.
The fact that Usher decided to get married after his performance, I got some red flags over here. I gotta challenge this ruling on the field. Seems like unsportsmanlike conduct to me.
Amber:
I fully respect that Usher and Alicia Keys are both friends and professional performers. But sue me, I still feel like there's a line you shouldn't cross with a married woman.
I, too, have male friends that I've known for decades. None of them would ever cozy up on me like that.
RELATED: Run Clubs Are The New Dating Apps & Did Usher Cross A Line With Alicia Keys?
Brian's Wife Is Now My Best Friend
I read my wife your line, "All I know is my husband wouldn't touch another woman like that unless he had a death wish." You're her favorite writer now.
Amber:
Changing my Twitter tagline now: "Your wife's favorite writer."
John Says Not So Fast
I'm gonna say No to crossing the line... but he was close & knew where it was. Allow me to explain, and let's swap the characters somewhat for context.
Backstory: My wife & I loved the halftime SB show for the sole reason that we were dating when Usher was big in clubs in the early '00s, and the awesome band that played @ our Wedding Reception in Memphis played "YEAH" really, really well in December 2005.... so it was a fun throwback for us as well as our friends (now all in our 40s). No lie (& yes it is cheesy) but I used to 'hum' the melody of Alicia Keys' "If I Ain't Got You" to my now 12-year-old when he was a baby and needed to go down for a nap. More often than not, it worked as he was a really shitty sleeper, so I stuck to what worked well & the little guy remembered the melody when she came out on that stage in the red dress. These two are what Motown was to our parents. Moving on to the debate....
1. The Usher Confessions Album was 1 of the best if not THE BEST wall-to-wall song lists for an entertainer since Michael Jackson's Thriller. The song "My Boo" exploded & back then we actually still watched music videos, where I recall vividly being shown regular "normal" everyday old school camera pics of Usher & Alicia together like any other young couple in the 90s in that video ... so maybe they go back closer to 30* years. I had to crosscheck the "Did they ever date?" & the public answer is no. However, back then, in this song you could really see two people who cared about each other once upon a time (& that's OK for whatever that was — we all have that at some point). They wrote a great male/female duet we don't often see nowadays. The lyrics literally said "another brother's taken over, but it's alright" and I think that carries two decades later. (Obviously, Mr. Alicia Keys was cool with it).
2. Fast forward to this article & the picture of the "hug from behind" used — I still just see two people who legit care about each other and were excited to perform "their song" for the freakin' SUPER BOWL with limitless replays down the road through every platform.... & surely they needed to "play that part again" like Romeo & Juliet for all the cameras.... they care about each other and that is OK .
3. Using the picture of the two of them together in this article with him hugging & slightly lifting her as obviously he's a strong dude ... I just see love and the sheer look on her face is ZERO awkwardness or threat to her.... as hands are not wandering to "forbidden zones" & there is no smooch whatsoever... so I honestly think she loves him back in a PG friendly way .... & they are legit friends... I also think Usher would not want to tarnish his image either.... which is fine.
(Getty Images)
4. Let's turn this to Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton (God rest his soul in 2020) — If those 2 performed "Islands in the Stream" (as has made a recent "marital success litmus test" thanks to David & Victoria Beckham) and Kenny/Dolly did the same hug, there would be Zero discussion as I think they also professionally respected each other back then — even if she did it in a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader uniform* (which we can save for another discussion or debate) — God Bless Dolly Parton every day & always.
5. Let's turn this even sooner & say for 2025 Super Bowl halftime show .... we're gonna have Justin Timberlake & Britney Spears ... holy shit the internet will burn down. Obviously, they won't perform "Cry Me a River" together nor "Toxic," but we could see Janet Jackson with an outfit he couldn't tear off with Velcro. And well maybe... this should open a good discission forward... if Justin hugged Britney from behind while they performed "I'll take you there" amongst a few other songs they did together... where Justin's hands didn't move to the wrong places & no smooching... I think Jessica Biel is gonna nod her head & be OK. She won & Justin became the TOP talented performer a while back. But we'd all like to see Britney come back, too. They could show each other love & friendship just the same, and we would all love to see that happiness just the same that Usher & Alicia showed doing their song.
Amber:
When I posed this question last week, I did not expect a full thesis on the chemistry between male and female musical performers, but friends, OutKick readers never disappoint.
I still disagree with John, though.
Sure, Usher and Alicia Keys never publicly dated. But John seems to imply some things might have happened between them, and I'd put my money on it. We don't know for sure if they were intimate, but they very much care about each other.
To me, that makes it worse. If I KNEW my husband had a sexual history with someone (however brief), him hugging all up on her from behind would not sit well with me. And if there are feelings involved — like he actually LOVES her — even worse.
The Dolly Parton / Kenny Rogers argument doesn't hold up because Dolly has been faithfully married since 1966. Kenny Rogers was also married at the time "Islands In The Stream" came out. That was a musical collaboration (like many, many before and since then), but we never saw any boundaries crossed.
And finally, Jessica Biel might not get mad about Justin being all up on Britney now because 1) that's 100% not going to happen and 2) Britney is a lost soul spinning around on Instagram with mascara running down her face. But if she were still smoking hot superstar Britney, I have a feeling Jessica might not appreciate her husband nuzzling up on his ex-girlfriend.
Also, here's a performer who called someone's girlfriend up on stage recently. At some point, "it's a performance" isn't a valid excuse anymore.
And Here Comes Woody From the Top Rope…
Supposedly, Usher has spread herpes throughout a portion of the music community. (A "gift" from P Diddy, ’tis said. Allegedly, it was Usher who passed the herp to Justin Bieber.) If Usher was having an outbreak during the halftime show, and he got too familiar with Alicia, Swizz will know soon enough.
Amber:
OK, I actually was not going to include this email at first. Mostly because it's not responsible journalism to spread unfounded rumors about a public figure knowingly spreading STDs.
Turns out, though, it's not unfounded. I Googled it. Apparently, multiple women brought lawsuits against Usher for allegedly giving them herpes. I have nothing more to add except …yikes.
Happy Ending
I would rather not end this column on Usher's alleged herpes. So here's a marriage video that made me laugh.
See y'all on WEDNESDAY!
Womansplaining is a weekly column about dating, marriage, sex and relationships that runs on Wednesdays.
Email your thoughts, questions, stories and gripes to Amber.Harding@OutKick.com or tweet her @TheAmberHarding.