Marathon Mom Sets The Record Straight, Bert Kreischer Gets Humbled & Responses To Last Week's Column

When I started this column six months ago, I wanted it to be a fun and lighthearted (yet honest) take on the dynamic between the two sexes. That is still the case.

But every once in a while, there are bigger conversations worth having. My column last week is a good example.

Since last Wednesday, my email inbox has been flooded with responses. I was prepared for some hateful ones, and I got a few. But for the most part, the feedback was positive, thoughtful and productive. Thank you for that.

See, my intention with this column is never to force you to agree with me. But as a woman writing for a primarily male audience, my goal is to offer a perspective that perhaps you hadn't considered before. Maybe you agree, maybe you don't. Either way is OK.

So at the end of this column, I've included several of the emails I received about last week's Womansplaining. Feel free to dive deeper if you're interested. And then next week, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming.

But in the meantime, let's do some fun stuff. We've got a couple of viral videos to discuss, and — for next time — I'm looking for your thoughts on all things vacation! More on that later.

Without further ado, let's roll.

Bert Kreischer Gets Bodied By Tom Papa

About a month ago, comedians Brian Regan and Tom Papa appeared on Something's Burning, a cooking show hosted by Bert Kreischer.

During the episode, Bert whips up some peanut brittle and rum runners (my kind of cooking show!), as the fellas chat about baking bread, stealing jokes and what hobbies they'd pursue if comedy didn't work out for them.

At one point, Bert tells Tom and Brian that — while he loves his wife LeAnn, and he doesn't want to cheat on her — he sometimes wishes he had a 25-year-old woman who would be impressed with him. While LeeAnn gave him a hard time for spending $125K on a tour bus, a younger woman would be in awe of said bus.

That's when Tom hit him with a heaping dose of reality. Watch:

This video has been making the rounds on TikTok, and the comments section is FIERY, to say the least. Women are skewering Bert for the way he "disrespected" his wife in this clip.

‘At 27, I’m probably too old for him, but I can confidently say I've never been impressed by anything Bert Kreischer's done.

I hope his wife finds someone who cherishes her.

She better get that $125K tour bus in the divorce.

‘I love her more than I wish I loved her' is such a wild thing to say out loud.

And if it were my husband saying he wanted some 25-year-old to play with, I'd agree with these comments. Frankly, there would be a war. 

But I've seen enough of The Machine's comedy to know self-deprecation is just part of his schtick. And — love it or leave it — his wife and daughters are regularly the butt of his jokes. So I'm not getting my panties in a twist about Bert Kreischer.

It was hilarious to see Papa positively level him, though.

Speaking Of Cooking Shows…

My husband is really into them — particularly Sam the Cooking Guy and Meat Church BBQ. I can't tell you how many times I've walked in the room to find him watching Sam whip up some uses-a-whole-stick-of-butter pasta dish or the Meat Church guy making zillion-calorie bacon "crack burgers."

I have to avert my eyes! We're both trying to get shreddy for summer, and watching someone make Hong Kong French Toast is pure torture for me when I'm counting calories. Mike, on the other hand, loves it. It's like getting his fix of naughty foods without actually ingesting them.

I guess this is what they mean when they say marriage is hard.

But if he starts acting like Randy Marsh on that "Crème Fraîche" episode of South Park, I'm staging an intervention.

Mom Wins Marathon, Dad Says WTF?

Last week, a woman went viral after she won the Presidente Prudente Half Marathon in Brazil — but not because she came in first place. Luciana Grandi Lourenção went viral for being a selfish, mean mom!

Those are the Internet's words, not mine.

So here's what happened: A video (with more than 16.8 million views on TikTok) shows Luciana running down a hill and triumphantly pumping a fist in the air as she's about to cross the finish line. But before she could break the tape, her husband pushes her two young daughters onto the course. The little girls run toward their mom, but Luciana ignores them and sprints to the finish.

In the background, the husband throws his arms in the air (the universal symbol for "WTF, bro?") while Luciana celebrates her win.

As often happens on the Internet, two teams immediately formed: Team Dad and Team Mom.

Team Dad was appalled at how "selfish" Luciana acted — ignoring her children while she triumphed in the race. Team Mom was angry at the father for almost sabotaging his wife's win by pushing her children onto the course. Luciana should, they said, be able to enjoy this accomplishment without being subjected to "mom guilt."

It will surprise exactly none of you to find out that I was fully on board with Team Mom.

But now, Luciana has chimed in to set the record straight.

The runner explained that she and her husband Pedro decided their daughters would join their mom as she crossed the finish line. What they didn't plan on, though, is that she would be in first place down the home stretch. And — only seconds ahead of another runner — she had to ditch this plan in order to secure her win.

"There was no way he could have known that the second competitor was very close to me," Lourenção wrote on Instagram. "I would like to have made a nicer arrival with them there, but I know that I will have other opportunities to do this."

She went on to praise Pedro, whom she called "an excellent husband" and "an incredible father."

OK fine, Pedro. We forgive you.

Coming Up: Vacation Time!

Summer is here, and that means it's time to hit the beach, the lake, the mountains or whatever you're into. I have a few trips planned, myself.

The problem is, my husband and I vacation very differently. I like to wake up early, make plans and spend the day adventuring. He likes to catch up on sleep, relax and not be on a schedule. 

So I want to hear all about your vacation experience with your significant other. What are the challenges you face, and how do you compromise? Where is the best place you've visited — and the worst? Any funny vacation stories? 

Send it all to Amber.Harding@outkick.com.

OK, Let's Talk About Last Week's Column

Last week, I wrote about how even though women consistently vote at higher rates than men in presidential elections, many women feel that neither political party really represents their best interests. 

And while I certainly acknowledged the problems on the Left, I focused heavily on the Right's messaging toward women — taking aim at some of the red-pill social media man-fluencers who use their platforms to degrade and insult us. I also touched on the infamous Harrison Butker commencement speech, which I didn't love.

THE FULL COLUMN: From 'Boss Babes' To 'Homemakers': Why Both The Left And Right Suck At Talking To Women

Y'all lit up my email inbox. 

So I'm going to share a handful of those emails now — the good, the thoughtful and the heinous.

Keith W:

I will just say that we get mired in the weeds when trying to discuss or react to something like the Butker speech, and everything it relates to in general. However, I try to look at things from 10,000 feet or even 10,000 light years, and from a larger timeline than a few days, or year, or even an era or a generation. This is where it gets hard to explain my thoughts. 

I do think this Butker speech and reaction is bigger than just talk regarding women's progress or feminism or whatever (I do kind of agree with your point that the speech probably didn't have great timing. But I think it's even bigger than that, and I'm not even really talking from a religious point of view.) But just as I, a man, can't truly know or have perspective on a female or feminine concept (even if I kind of think I sort of do). Same goes for you, a child-less person (and I think you have mentioned you won't have kids), can't truly have perspective on a concept that may affect more than yourself in current times (even if you kind of think you might). 

Overall, we're all different with our own perspectives. I think it's great that we all have basically equal opportunity at this point to do what we want in our lives. 'Merica! 

Amber:

'Merica, indeed!

Keith is absolutely correct that it's hard for men to have a perspective on issues that primarily affect women. In fact, that's why Womansplaining was born!

That said, he's also right that I, as a non-parent, cannot speak for parents. And I'll never try. But I do consider myself pretty in-tune with the female experience, and I know that while mothers obviously love their children more than anything, Butker's speech still rubbed a lot of moms the wrong way.

Like this mom, who said (in good humor) that her life didn't begin when she got married and had kids. Rather, it ended.

Now, let's scroll through some of the comments from moms on that particular video:

Girl… that's some truth.

I'm both immensely happy and completely miserable at the same time.

Started dating my husband when I was 19. I'm 44 & I adore him and our kids, but I literally have no idea who I am. Never met her.

I've been mourning myself for the last two years. No wonder I've been the biggest mess. I DIED.

I picked my son up from daycare and said, ‘Hi, I’m Dean's mom.' The lady goes, ‘No, you’re Monica, Dean's mother.' In that moment, I realized how much of myself I'd given up.

Those are all mothers talking — not me. And I don't share this with you to paint a grim picture of motherhood. I know being a mom is a beautiful thing. But it requires a lot of sacrifice, and it's not always the sunshine and rainbows that Butker painted it to be.

That's why many women took issue with the speech. Because they are more than just someone's wife or some kid's mom.

Homebrew Bill:

Your Womansplaining column was great. My daughter will be 15 on July 4, and, of course, we will celebrate all those life milestones you mentioned. I just hope the world hasn't gone to shit by that time. 

You could say my mom was a stay-at-home mom, except for the fact that during my formative years, she and my dad farmed 1000 acres of corn and soybeans in NW Iowa. They did it without the modern technology of today and without hiring outside help. Once I was old enough, I helped too. If it got too late, and I was hungry, well, I learned to cook myself something. Dad has since passed away, but my mom has been living on the farm solo for the past 12 years, still maintaining it as I remembered. She also manages the business side of cash rent, crop share, and when to sell grain. She's smart and tough, and I hope someday my daughter is just the same. 

Well done. Your work is appreciated. 

John D: 

Voted republican in every election blah, blah, blah. Not buying it one bit. You spat so much venom at Republicans it isn't even slightly believable that you ever Voted republican. I especially love how much you hate men, in general. You did exactly what you accuse men of doing, telling us how we should behave and think. Newsflash, I don't give a rats ass whether you're breathing or not let alone what you think.

Amber:

Stop hitting on me, John. I'm married.

MP:

Amber, that was a fantastic column. However, I have one quibble. Why are you so mean to those of us who love cats?

Amber:

This email made me LOL. I have no beef with cats.

I was just repeating the age-old "enjoy dying alone with all your cats" line that angry men love to hurl at unmarried, child-free women. 

But just for you, MP, here's a fun story from my cat-loving colleague, Dan Zaksheske.

Buffalo Bills Kicker Tyler Bass Raises $400K For Kitten Adoption Center

Buffalo Bills kicker Tyler Bass helped raise over $400,000 for a non-profit dedicated to finding homes for cats and kittens.

Anonymous:

I always appreciate your articles and perspective. They are always humorous and informative. You acknowledge your biases but try to see things from many different angles. After I read your most recent column, I spent some time thinking about Harrison’s speech and where I came down on it, specifically the timing. 

My wife is Catholic, so I got her opinion on it as well. We both agreed that the most important part was "did the speech fit the audience." He was specifically asked by a Catholic college to come and speak. I would imagine they knew his beliefs and asked him specifically because his beliefs aligned with the college’s as well as the students. 

My wife’s issue with it is similar to yours, timing. She mentioned that if he had said "embrace your femininity," similar to how he told the men to embrace their masculinity, it would have made more sense. Ultimately, we both agreed that as long as the graduates didn’t have a problem with it, then it really doesn’t matter. What was a targeted speech to a conservative Catholic college was sent out to America and many people took it as the kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs telling people how they should be living their lives.

Amber:

One thing I did not mention in last week's column is that I, too, am Catholic. I'm baptized Catholic, confirmed Catholic and spent 13 years in Catholic schooling (kindergarten all the way through high school). So I do feel qualified to speak on this.

My teachers — both male and female — pushed me to succeed. Not one time were we lectured about being wives and mothers. Rather, my teachers and school administrators encouraged males and females equally to strive for greatness in our careers, our athletic pursuits and our creative hobbies as well. I can tell you with absolute certainty that Butker's speech would not have gone over well at the 2007 Cathedral High School graduation.

Do Catholics value family? Absolutely. But Butker wasn't speaking in a women's group or at a Lamaze class or at a wedding. He was speaking to a group of men and women who equally spent tens of thousands of dollars and worked their asses off to achieve a goal — a goal separate from motherhood and marriage. So to single out the women and tell them everything they just did was part of a "diabolical lie" is a slap in the face.

My husband is the most important person in the world to me. He is my priority over any job I will ever have, and no one is disputing that sentiment. But like Anonymous' wife, I believe a commencement speech is for celebrating commencement — not for Butker to tell women what will actually be their calling. The Benedictine nuns and many of the female graduates thought so, too.

If you don't agree, that's OK. But the Internet turned this into a black and white issue, when, in reality, it's incredibly nuanced. That was the point I wanted to get across.

Maston T:

GREAT GREAT GREAT article. Your article really made me think about what my wife and my nieces are facing out there from both sides of the aisle. This was really well done. Keep the good stuff coming. You’re awesome.

Daniel C:

First off, I do enjoy reading your column as I believe you make an honest effort to present both sides (of the two and only two genders!) of the many different issues involving the TWO sexes.

That said, I feel like you damaged your objectivity a bit, and perhaps it is why you deliberated for so long?

I read it as way more left-leaning, which I can understand because you have chosen in your life many of the things the left supports, while also pointing out the many hypocrisies on both sides. I have interacted with many women, because I KNOW what a woman is, that chose to not have children (or couldn't) and not being aware of their choice. Then unknowingly and unintentionally triggering them by asking a question about children where they defensively childless-splain to me that it is their right to not have children! Yes, I get it because I was not judging you for that!

It's your business if you're mostly left-leaning in your views, but it's also fine if Harrison Butker has opposing views. Feminism, like racism, to quote Bobby Burack, "the demand far exceeds the supply." This is one man's opinion, but there are petitions to have him fired and the regime media calling for him to be removed from what he does for his living!

Amber:

I appreciate Daniel's feedback 1000%, but there are a few things I want to address.

I concede that while I intended to criticize both the Left and the Right when it comes to their messaging toward women, I did go a little harder on the Right. And maybe that's because I'm writing for a mostly conservative audience, so I felt I needed to drive home the point a little further.

But I take issue with Daniel's assertion that I'm "mostly left-leaning in my views." If you've been reading my stuff on OutKick for a while, you know I'm very conservative on most things. I'm Catholic, pro-life and pro-gun (and I own several). I support policies that lower taxes, strengthen border security and go tough on crime. I live in a deep red county in Tennessee, and I've voted Republican my whole adult life. 

So unless Daniel is saying that I "have chosen in my life many of the things the left supports" simply because of my decision not to have children, then I'm not really sure where that's coming from.

As for the child-free women getting triggered… Daniel said he understands it's a woman's right not to have kids and he "was not judging" them for that. But many people do judge them for that (trust me, I hear it all the time), so I think that's why they get defensive.

I stand by my statement that feminism gets an unfair bad rap. Because many people immediately associate it with angry, blue-haired, man-hating nonsense. But that's not how I see it. My particular brand of feminism is that I support women to be able to live however they choose — as long as they aren't hurting anyone. Obviously, there are extremists who give the movement a bad name, and that's unfortunate.

And finally, I addressed the cancelation attempts on Harrison Butker last week, and I said they were silly. While I don't fully agree with his words, I do support his right to say them. I never advocated for him to lose his job.

Ken:

You say towards the end of your article that most conservative men aren't like Matt Walsh & Co. Yet that's exactly how you portrayed us as with your headline and comment stating that the Right believes that women are "strictly baby makers" and should "shut up and have babies." How about just calling those few bad apples out individually instead of making generalized statements? Otherwise, it makes you sound like an uninformed leftist loon, like it did with this last piece you just wrote.

Amber:

Gotta say, Ken. This is definitely the first time I've ever been called an "uninformed leftist loon."

If you read that column as me painting all conservative men to be like Matt Walsh, then I apologize for the misunderstanding. The point I was trying to convey is that most men on the Right are not judgmental assholes who want to keep women down. But just like the man-hating lunatics who give feminism a bad name, many of the loud voices on the right give conservatives a bad name.

The reality is, we have to be mindful of the messaging we're sending out. And when we let red-pill man-fluencers speak for us, it turns women off to the party.

So, conservative men can either continue to complain about women shifting further to the Left, or they can try to understand the reasons for that trend, and they can work to correct it. Only one of those strategies will win elections.

And Bring Us Home, Ben T…

How bout you do us all a favor and fatally choke on a dick. If women didn't vote at all, we'd all be better off.

Amber:

I regret to inform Ben I'm still alive, the 19th Amendment is still intact, and I'll see y'all next week.

Womansplaining is a weekly column about dating, marriage, sex and relationships that runs on Wednesdays at noon ET.

Email your thoughts, questions, stories and gripes to Amber.Harding@OutKick.com or tweet her @TheAmberHarding.