Here Are The Hobbies Women Actually Find Attractive (And Why They Usually Hate Video Games)

What do you like to do in your free time?

Think carefully before you answer that question, fellas, because you're being judged. Your weekend activity of choice could determine whether a woman finds you sexy and irresistible …or nerdy and icky.

By now, you might have seen the viral poll detailing which hobbies women find "least attractive" for men. And, well, it's bad news for you action figure enthusiasts.

Clay has had a lot of fun with this poll on X over the past couple of days, and OutKick's Mike Gunzelman dug into the results yesterday. But, as your Womansplainer, it's my duty to give you the female point of view.

When I saw this list, I immediately had a few theories floating around in my noggin. So I put on my investigator cap, and I went to work to test those theories. I did a lot of reading, and I talked to a lot of women. And I've narrowed it down to five things we look for when it comes to a potential partner's hobbies.

First, let's dive into what ladies find just so repulsive about model trains, comic books, magic tricks and — the worst offender — video games.

Wait, What's Wrong With Video Games?

On their own, nothing. But that's not really the point.

Like most millennial women, my video game prowess extends only as far as Mario Kart on Nintendo 64. (Although, as a very young child, I did love Duck Hunt on the original Nintendo.)

My husband's not a gamer, either. Every once in a blue moon, he plays this game on his PC called Escape from Tarkov, during which — as far as I've gathered — the goal is to hoard supplies and shoot Russians. But I've never once seen him plop down in front of a gaming console and pretend to play for a sports team or steal cars (or whatever else happens on those games).

So since my frame of reference is limited here, I surveyed a bunch of women of various ages to get their thoughts on whether video games are the actually the "least attractive" hobby for men.

Here's what they said:

Lauren W: Playing video games constantly is an ick for me… I can just see more positive things to do besides video games, maybe it’s 'cause I grew up with a brother always yelling into a mic on video games.

Anna W: Video games is definitely an ick. But there are levels. Luckily, mine only plays one player games and doesn't stay up all night on a headset with his buddies like a lot of guys do. That level is the ickiest, but it's harmless. Still hate them, though.

Jacqueline O: If a guy is a gamer, then he shouldn’t date a girl that hates dudes who play video games. My bf only plays video games casually and occasionally, but when we were long distance for a few months, we’d play HOURS of "Fortnite" together as a way to spend time with each other while apart.

Meredith E: The hate for men who play video games is weird to me. Obviously, there are lots of men who do it excessively, and that’s not what I’m talking about. But doing it a normal amount is no different than watching TV, movies or reading, in my opinion. One of my favorite things to do with my husband is play games.

Rhiannon C: I think lots of women really do hate the idea of video games for a lot of reasons, and they mostly stem from bad experiences in the past. Obsessive guys, the ones who get loud or upset, spending lots of money on it... I had a bad view of gamers myself, but my opinion has matured — like a lot of the fellas probably also have.

Cole S: Video games are quite the turnoff for me. It’s not the video games themselves, but it’s just that most men that I’ve come across that are super into video games are not very physically active. They seem to be more "couch potato" types. As someone who lives an active/outdoor lifestyle, I need someone who can physically keep up with me! It’s not to be discriminatory against more sedentary types of people, but that kind of lifestyle just isn’t attractive to me or what I seek in a partner.

Hannah L: I'm a gamer myself and gaming is actually how I met my boyfriend... so the video games don't bother me. But from talking to some of my friends, the thing that bothered them was when video games seemed to take priority over them.

Chelsea W: Video games aren't a turn-off for me unless it's excessive and interfering with day-to-day life or how someone acts. For example, are you playing "2K" instead of helping me run errands, clean or cook? Is "COD" making you act like a raging a-hole? Then yes — problematic. But otherwise, I have no issue.

So — as I suspected — it's not the video games themselves. It's the behavior that women associate with "gamers" that gives them pause. More on that in just a second.

So What Hobbies Do Women Find Attractive?

It's worth noting that there's no source cited on that Twitter / X poll. So it could be complete and total bullsh*t that some Internet troll made up to go viral. (Given, it would be a remarkably self-aware Internet troll, since one of the unattractive hobbies listed is, in fact, "online trolling.")

Now, let's compare those findings to some actual, sourceable data.

In 2019, dating website eHarmony analyzed millions of communications among its members to determine which hobbies and interests were most attractive for both men and women. 

Spoiler alert: Video games didn't make the list

(Source: eHarmony.com)

In fact, not one of the hobbies listed on the viral poll of "unattractive hobbies" is on this list of "attractive hobbies." Which leads me to believe that Internet troll might not be too far off.

Still, because I am a thorough Womansplainer who does her research, I wanted to further test my own theories. So I surveyed a Facebook group consisting of 27,000 women, and I asked them what hobbies they find attractive in a man.

Here are the most popular answers, in no particular order:

• Outdoor Activities — Fishing, hiking, rock climbing and camping were all mentioned.
• Cooking
• Fitness — including lifting weights, playing sports, running, etc.
• Traveling
• Volunteering / Philanthropy
• DIY — like woodworking, building or home improvement projects

I think we're seeing a pattern here.

My Take: There Are 5 Things Women Look For In Men's Hobbies

Surprise, surprise — I was right again. My theories were confirmed.

I saw a lot of Twitter philosophers trying to dissect this poll in terms of "productive hobbies" versus "consumptive hobbies." They were twisting themselves into knots trying to come up with some sort of scientific or psychological explanation as to why women are attracted to men who hike and fish vs. men who play with toy trains.

But guys, it's not that complicated. All of this data we collected here can be explained by five simple truths.

1. Women don't want to date a lazy bum.

Just as most men are attracted to fit, healthy women, most women are attracted to fit, healthy men. It's not rocket science. So they look for men who dedicate their free time to bettering themselves physically.

Bad news for fans of "couch potato" hobbies.

2. Women are attracted to masculine men.

An example from my own experience: Like I said, my husband isn't a gamer. His hobbies pretty much all take place out in the woods. He and his buddies (many of them law enforcement and former military) get together at the shooting range each weekend. And once a month, they have what they call a "Proficiency Party," where they learn useful survival skills like land navigation and medical.

Are those "attractive hobbies" to me? Hell yes they are. Because if the sh*t ever hits the fan, I know I'm in good hands. I see my husband as someone who is strong and capable. A problem solver.

Modern civilization has made leaps and bounds over the past century when it comes to gender equality, but some of our most basic instincts will always hold true. Generally speaking, she doesn't care if you're good at building anytime-touchdown-scorer parlays or if you have memorized every intricacy of the Marvel Universe. She cares if you can protect your family and fix things around the house.

That TikTok was inappropriate. My apologies.

And yes, of course you can still be a masculine dude who plays video games. But just understand she's probably not dropping her panties over your imaginary college football championship.

3. Women aren't attracted to men who remind them of children.

This one sounds harsh, and I'm sorry for that, but they pay me to tell you the truth. My very first thought when I saw the viral list of "unattractive hobbies" was that almost all of them — video games, collecting figurines, magic tricks, model trains, comic books — are activities we associate with children.

And taxidermy is something we associate with Jeffrey Dahmer as a child, so that's a whole different problem. On the other hand, if by "taxidermy" you mean hunting and field dressing your own food, then I guess that's pretty cool.

4. Women want to date men with similar interests to our own.

In addition to being activities we associate with children, the above "unattractive" list is also full of things typically not enjoyed by women. 

Of course, there are lady gamers and action figure collectors out there, too, and that's great. But generally speaking, women aren't really into those things. And you want to date someone with common interests — someone who likes to do the things that you like to do. 

5. Women want you to pay attention to them.

Listen, we women are needy creatures. And this one, quite honestly, might be the most important factor of them all when it comes to judging your hobbies.

Back in my very first Womansplaining column, I talked about the "Naked Video Game Challenge." (Don't Google that on a work computer.) It was an old social media trend that happened during the pandemic: Women with gamer husbands and boyfriends would walk into the room naked to see if they could distract their men from his video games.

A lot of men understood the assignment. But it was ASTOUNDING how many guys couldn't look away from their screens long enough to even notice their lady was standing there with no clothes on. Or worse — they noticed and didn't care.

Guys, the primary complaint I've heard from women with gamer boyfriends and husbands is that they let the video games consume them — to the point where they not only neglect their women emotionally and sexually, but they also don't help out around the house or with the kids.

And I'll be fair here: We can't JUST demonize video games. Because this could happen with any activity. For example, golf is a perfectly fine hobby. But if you're ignoring your wife and skipping all your kid's sporting events so that you can drink beer and flirt with cart girls every single Saturday and Sunday, then that's likely going to be a problem.

So it's not your harmless hobbies, fellas — it's how your harmless hobbies affect US. And any man who wants to be in a long-term relationship with a woman (and keep her happy) has to eventually come to terms with this.

Or… just stay single and read your comic books in peace.

Your Thoughts?

Alright, now that I've poked fun at everything guys like, it's your turn to tee off on us ladies and our hobbies. Send me the MOST and LEAST attractive hobbies for women to have, and I'll do my best to defend my fellow females. Or we'll all just laugh about it together. 

Also… has someone ever ended things with you because of how you choose to spend your free time (or vice versa)? And what's so wrong with bird watching? Email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com!

One More Thing

If there's anything more damning to a dating profile than being a dude who likes comic books and taxidermy, it's being a dude who likes gardening, cafe-hopping and thinks he might be a socialist.

The jury's still out on that one, though.

Womansplaining is a weekly column about dating, marriage, sex and relationships that runs on Wednesdays.

Email your thoughts, questions, stories and gripes to Amber.Harding@OutKick.com or tweet her @TheAmberHarding.