When Can Grown Men Cry? OutKick Audience Weighs In
When is it okay for a grown man to cry?
I found myself thinking about this question due to the fact Dan Campbell loves to cry whenever football is brought up.
The man turns into a hose whenever he finds himself talking about tough, gritty football players and leaving it all on the field.
I don't say that as a negative. I'm certainly not making fun of the guy. After all, I'm a huge Lions fan. Dan Campbell is a hell of a leader in my book, but it does beg the question:
When is it 100% acceptable for a grown man to cry.
I posed this question on X, formerly Twitter, and to the surprise of nobody, OutKick's readers showed up and showed out with plenty of varying thoughts. If you missed out, send me your thoughts to David.Hookstead@outkick.com, and we might include in a follow-up piece!
OutKick readers weigh in on men crying.
Now, before we get into this, we all know a kid, sibling or parent dying is super sad and totally acceptable to cry over. Nobody is debating that. I had a ton of responses like that, and obviously, we're all in agreement that life-altering events like a parent or child dying is a legit reason to cry. We're discussing the gray area, and the OutKick fans didn't disappoint.
The ending of "Field of Dreams." I'm going to allow it because I know a person very well who balls every single time they watch the ending, and it has nothing to do with baseball. If you think that's a baseball movie more than a movie about family and relationships, then you completely missed the point.
"Friday Night Lights" is another one I didn't expect, but I definitely see the merit in. Are we sensing a theme? I certainly am. The OutKick audience is moved by sports movies.
Not surprising. I wouldn't expect anything less.
Excuse me, I think I just felt a tear roll down my face reading this one.
Tax day. I didn't even think of this one, but I'm definitely going to allow it. Nothing hurts worse than watching the federal government gobble up your money with glee.
A father's first dance at their daughter's wedding? I can definitely understand people tearing up at that.
Running out of beer. Saw this one a lot, and while I'm not sure I'd cry, I'd certainly be depressed and pissed.
Sports was one I saw a bunch. I'm going to dive into this deeper in the story later, but I saw it was a very common one.
I am going to include this sports one with a thumbs up because while it's about death, it's not about death itself. It's about helping fill a family role.
How about when discussing the Roman Empire? We'll get into something similar soon, but I think we can allow it.
Academy Award speeches? Maybe 50+ years ago, but when was the last time anyone cared about that garbage.
Absolutely not. That's a firm no with no wiggle room.
What are the Hookstead rules for crying?
Now that we've had the audience weigh in, I'll go ahead and lay out how I see it, apart from what we've already mentioned. I think many of you will agree, and if you don't, send me an email to David.Hookstead@outkick.com.
War:
I know I said we shouldn't be too serious, but this isn't about life and death. It's about war, combat and the stories and bonds forged in battle that are worthy of your tears. Let me be crystal clear. I've never gone to war, never been in the military, never shot anyone and have never even drawn a weapon on someone and hope like hell I never do.
However, I have a lot of friends who went to war, and many who killed a lot of people. There's absolutely no shame if you find yourself shedding a few tears while remembering the fallen, but don't just cry such epic men are gone. Definitely also smile that such incredible men ever lived to begin with.
Now, this definitely applies to people who haven't served in the military, but just love war movies or series. Any man who says he can watch "Band of Brothers" without shedding some tears isn't someone you want anywhere near you in a foxhole.
The church scene hits me every single time.
Some other war movie scenes that are gutting are the end of "Black Hawk Down" and "American Sniper."
If you don't know what I'm talking about, you can watch both below.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with shedding some tears in this setting as a man, and I'd argue it's actually a bit weird if you don't. You a communist? Of course not. You're an OutKick reader, and that means crying in honor of America is 100% acceptable.
A dog dying is an automatic green light to shed some tears and cry.
I said we were going to try to keep this light, but far to many people talked about dogs for me to even pretend for a second it doesn't immediately turn me into a puddle. You can tell a lot about people by how they treat and view dogs. I've never met a person I respect who wasn't a huge dog person and didn't have a dog ready to fight at the gates of hell side-by-side. There's a lot of people I absolutely don't respect and, frankly, think are awful people who hate dogs.
Tells you everything you need to know by just finding out their preferences on man's best friend. Bonds with dogs are hard to describe to someone who has never experienced it. A great dog is a protector, companion, hunts to put food on the table and the highlight of a great dog's day is seeing its owner.
Losing a dog is crushing. I don't like most people on this planet. I love OutKick readers, of course, but most people walking the planet aren't impressive to me. I'd take a great dog over the average human any day of the week.
Below is a photo of my favorite dog Jake not long before he died. He died in 2015 after living a life that was that of a true warrior. More than eight years later and I still get misty eyed at times. Never be afraid to cry over a dog.
This was obviously one I got a ton from the readers. Couldn't include them all, but thought the response below summed it up well.
Do I think grown men should cry over sports?
This is a tough one for me, and I've found myself going back and forth. I think the answer is yes, but only in the most isolated of times.
It better be a once-in-a-lifetime moment. Let me give everyone a good example of a time I will happily admit I shed some tears over sports.
It was the 2015 college basketball national title game when the refs robbed Wisconsin against Duke. I'd had a few adult beverages and was crushed because it truly felt like this was the only shot I'd have at a Wisconsin national title while my dad and I are both alive. I called him and told him how crushed I was for the reason I believed we'd never do it together as long as we're alive, and I shed some tears.
Is it acceptable to cry over sports? (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
On the other hand, if your teams win titles all the time, then no, you absolutely shouldn't be crying over sports. One exception is the Miracle on Ice. You're allowed to cry about that whenever you see the real life ending or the movie "Miracle."
I had more than a few people mention that as well on X.
Significant others:
I'll keep this short and simple. No, you shouldn't cry over a break up. That's wild, and a complete waste of energy and time. The world is a big place full of fellow gunfighters looking to mix it up. Nobody gets over a bad day by getting all up in their feelings. They reload and get after it again. Get your friends together, crack open a few beers and by the time the sun comes up the next day, have a plan and be ready to roll.
What did I get right? What did I get wrong? Let me know at David.Hookstead@outkick.com.
P.S.: This is the most serious thing I'll say in this piece, and I'll say it because we're at the end of the road. I have never understood crying over people who live incredibly full and long lives and die after leaving an incredible impact on the world. That's not a tragedy. That's a success story by any metric. My grandfather was born into the kind of poverty that doesn't exist anymore, was a high school dropout and died in his 90s after having built a small land empire. Sad? Yes. Something that I think people should cry over? Not at all. That's something to smile about and celebrate because that's a life that's a massive win no matter how you look at it.