The Trouble With Modern Feminism & Meet TikTok's Newest Villain: 'I'm Not Your Husband' Guy

Earlier this week, for a Women's History Month feature, a producer asked me for my opinion on feminism — namely, where it stands right now in 2024.

And boy, do I have an opinion.

You're probably already rolling your eyes: A column about feminism. C'mon, Amber, read the room. 

But if you'll indulge me for a moment, that's kind of my point.

(Getty Images)

Feminism has become almost a dirty word, particularly in conservative circles, and I think that’s a shame. Because — at its roots — feminism is a wonderful thing. 

Without feminists, over the past 100 years, fighting for our rights to vote, be financially independent or otherwise just participate in society without the express written consent of our husbands and fathers, I wouldn't be writing this right now. It's because of feminism, you can look your daughter in the eyes and tell her she can take on the world — because she has the same freedom and opportunities as any boy.

In that way, the feminist movement was pretty cool.

But somewhere along the way, the wheels started to fall off.

What started as a noble fight for equality evolved into the caricature of a blue-haired woman, free bleeding, screaming "f-ck the patriarchy."

((Photo by ANDY BUCHANAN/AFP via Getty Images))

These new-wave feminists are unable to separate a celebration of femininity from a degradation of masculinity. As if the two can’t coexist peacefully.

Feminists fought so hard for so long to be the same as men that they can no longer celebrate what makes us different. And now we have lawmakers and Supreme Court justices who can’t even define what a woman is.

If there is no gender, there is no womanhood. And they’ve completely lost the plot.

RELATED: The Myth Of Toxic Masculinity, Embracing Femininity & Guys Share Thoughts On Birthdays

So if you hate the idea of modern feminism, I get it. But instead of looking at "feminism" as a dirty word, let's simply take back the movement.

Of course, we do that by standing up for safety, fairness and common sense. And men, specifically, can do that by becoming exemplary husbands and fathers — by demonstrating what true masculinity is as opposed to the evil that some loony activists have painted it to be.

Remember: Every time you don't stand up for women, a blue-haired screeching lunatic gets its wings.

Meet TikTok's Newest Villain Boyfriend

OK, now that we got that serious stuff out of the way, let's talk about TikTok's newest villain — Kenzie Greene's boyfriend.

No, I didn't bother to learn his actual name.

Here's what happened: Kenzie and dumbass have been dating for three years. Just for fun, she decided to record a video where she called him her husband — not her boyfriend — just to see his reaction.

With the swiftness of a runaway train and before she could even finish the sentence, this man shut her down: "I'm not your husband."

Both men and women in the comments immediately threw up the red flag, and people slammed Kenzie's boyfriend so hard that she ultimately deleted the video. But not before hundreds of other TikTokers snatched it up to react.

Here's one:

I second everything the TikToker said above. That guy has no intention of marrying this woman. I don't think he even likes her.

Kenzie has made several follow-up videos trying to defend him, but she is living in delulu-land.

Let's take a look at how some other guys fared with the same experiment:

This is, of course, another example of one of those stupid relationship tests that make their rounds on the Chinese Spy App from time to time. And I'll concede that maybe it's jarring to hear her say "husband" if he is not, in fact, her husband.

RELATED: Ending Dates Early, Catfishing, Naked Gaming Distractions & Can You Pass The Beckham Test?

But that man's reaction was quick and definitive. Girl, you are wasting your time.

He's Couch Guy 2.0

Kenzie's boyfriend reminded OG TikTokers of a villain boyfriend who went viral in 2021 — "Couch Guy."

Here's how it went down: Lauren Zarras uploaded a video of herself surprising her boyfriend, Robbie McCoy, at the University of Virginia. He was hanging out in an apartment with friends and had no idea she was coming to visit.

Thousands of comments rolled in saying something was fishy about the way this guy reacted to his girlfriend's surprise arrival.

The original video amassed more than 60 million views before Lauren deleted it because of all the people hating on her boyfriend. But some kind soul saved it for us and put it on YouTube.

Let's watch:

This one's not as cut-and-dry as Kenzie's boyfriend. A lot of people questioned why he was sitting next to those girls or why he appeared to hide his phone. And why didn't he act more excited?

But I'm going to defend this guy.

Contrary to popular belief, I have scientific evidence to prove that you can, in fact, sit next to someone without having sex with them. And what's wrong with him putting his phone away? Is he supposed to sit there and continue scrolling Twitter when his long-distance girlfriend walks in to surprise him?

Sure, he didn't jump up and down and cheer when she walked in, but I think his reaction is one of genuine surprise, and I don't know that I would assume anything nefarious.

But maybe I'm missing something?

I'm curious to hear what y'all think: Email me your thoughts on Kenzie's boyfriend and Couch Guy. I'm ready to debate!

I Extend My Sincerest Apologies To Art's Dog

Last week, I shared another trend from the wild and wacky world of TikTok where women are comparing their boyfriends and husbands to breeds of dogs. I argued that it probably wouldn't go over as well if men were like, "Oh, my wife is being such a Chihuahua. She's tiny and never shuts the hell up."

Art writes:

Hi — First, always enjoy your columns! Great job identifying the douchebaggery taking over most of the larger city nightspots. 

However, my protector and sidekick would like to understand why you always present the Chihuahua as yapping and ankle biting...tiny but mighty!

Amber:

I'm admittedly more of a big-dog person. But I have been thoroughly shamed by these big puppy dog eyes.

I am sorry for stereotyping you, Petey. Please forgive me.

John Stands By His Defense Of Usher & Alicia Keys

John tried to argue that Usher's hug-from-behind with married Alicia Keys was appropriate because no one would have batted an eye if it were Dolly Parton/Kenny Roger or Justin Timberlake/Britney Spears.

I refuted this argument. John responds:

Overall, you had me.... I failed to close my THESIS out properly as I should have written #6 in my line of thoughts as the best example of 'crossing the line' — with Robin Thicke dressed as Beetlejuice & Miley Cyrus as Madonna on X & twerking on him like a stripper pole at the 2013 VMAs to "Blurred Lines." Oh well... I'll cede this one to you as we'll have to wait for some Audio-Bio down the road where they explain some awkward connection between Usher & Alicia where "it got weird" (like Dr. Evil & Frau). Moving on... I stand by my Justin Timberlake Super Bowl halftime show prediction for 2025*… without the others*

I met him once as he got big with *NSYNC circa 1999 working as a valet @ the CMAs (duet with Alabama... weird I know) & driving a golf cart to & from the trailers that year while in college. Fast Forward to my 2nd child born in 2013 & my PUSH present to my wife & her BFF was to go see JT @ Bridgestone that Fall when "Mirrors" was big..... they both still talk about that concert. A few years later circa 2016, I had a work trip in Vegas staying at the Flamingo and took some of my proteges a few blocks over to Planet Hollywood to see BRITNEY. 

Fun story here: Our tix were standing room only by the stage and the usher on the way out told us that in 100+/- shows (can't recall exact), Britney had only reached down to the crowd less than 3 times, and we were lucky as she grabbed my protege's hand. He lost it for hours and could barely keep his composure afterwards @ Gordon Ramsay's restaurant. But you're right... we're not gonna see Britney perform live again. 

Amber:

John is still of the belief that Justin Timberlake will be the 2025 Super Bowl Halftime performer — 21 years after the infamous "wardrobe malfunction" (which was 100% planned, and you'll never convince me otherwise).

I TOTALLY forgot that J-Tim headlined Super Bowl LII in 2018. And as such, I can't see them bringing him back, yet again, just seven years later. So I hate to tell you this John… but I think you're going to be wrong again.

But here's a funny video I saw today of Justin doing a blind karaoke challenge.

Boring Norm: The Memoirs

Boring Norm (The Craigslist Dating Champ) has blessed us with his dating chronicles. Now, he's blessing future generations.

About 10 years ago, I put together a spreadsheet, one column per month, starting in Middle School. Circa 1986. The rows include timeline events like, the address at which I lived, the bike/car I had, school attended, job worked, military service location, special and major events like concerts, movies, accidents, vacation trips, etc. And who I was dating and for how long. I figured I'd better log the history before I started forgetting.

In early Jan. 2018, I got sick. I was bedridden with a low-grade fever for a couple nights with weird lucid dreams. I'd never been sick like that — I typically have the constitution of an '80s cigarette vending machine. During these waking dreams, I decided to start writing my memoirs.

Six years later, "For The Kids..." has 690k+ words on 1,250+ pages, not including embedded pictures, links and documents. It consists of short stories and anecdotes from past experiences to current events. My views, perspectives, opinions, rationalizations. Hey, I have to do something at work.

A couple years in, I found myself self-filtering, so I started another memoir, "Not For The Kids!" This one details my dating history and the experiences that defined me up to meeting their mother. 125k+ words on 340 pages. It's been a great life.

I never knew my father, and there is a lot of conflicting family history. My kids will have an overwhelming amount of information on my life after I die. That could be very good or very bad.

Amber:

Not to get too heavy, but one time my mom told me that one of her few regrets in life is not recording her mom's "memoirs," if you will, before she passed away. She said if she could do it all over again, she'd sit down with her mom, start recording and have my grandma tell stories from her childhood, the war, her coming-of-age, all that. Just so she and everyone else who loved Grandma could have that forever. 

This is something I absolutely plan to do with my mom and dad.

So I actually love the idea of writing memoirs for your kids and grandkids to learn more about your life before them …and very considerate of you to keep the TMI stuff separate.

No, Will. I Do Not Have An ‘Alpha Male’ Alter Ego.

Amber, I read the great article from Nick Adams on Alpha Males. Did you write the article for him?

Amber:

Remember earlier when I said men can combat deranged modern feminism by demonstrating true masculinity? By that, I don't mean boobies, beers and bros. I mean acting as providers, protectors, loyal husbands who treat their wives with respect, and strong fathers who pass those values on to their children.

You know — real alpha man stuff.

Coming Up…

I recently chatted with Dr. Sarah Hill, an award-winning research psychologist and professor on sex and dating, about an Ipsos study on age-gap relationships.

If you and your significant other (or ex-significant other) have an age gap of 10+ years, send me an email! Specifically, if you want to share your story about bridging the generation gap. What sorts of things — sexually, emotionally or culturally — were tough to overcome? What parts of your relationship clicked automatically? Would you recommend dating older or younger?

I'll share in next Wednesday's Womansplaining.

A Couple LOLs…

Congrats to this guy, who invented — checks notes — talking to his girlfriend and drinking?

He'll totally take care of that tomorrow ...right?

Stay tuned for Collin's newest wild invention: "Bottle & Put Away Laundry Night."

Womansplaining is a weekly column about dating, marriage, sex and relationships that runs on Wednesdays at noon ET.

Email your thoughts, questions, stories and gripes to Amber.Harding@OutKick.com or tweet her @TheAmberHarding.