Top 10 Comedies: #1 Seinfeld
We've come to the end of the comedy countdown, which has produced plenty of agreement, and, plenty of disagreement. I would suggest that everyone who has been reading these articles believes the top of this list to be one of two programs. That creates a conundrum, because some folks are going to be disappointed. I wish I could have named them both, but the ranking is the ranking. The show not mentioned here is number eleven, and before I get to the top of the mountain and talk about the show that changed my life, let's discuss the one that barely missed the cut. Cue the hate mail.
Had Arrested Development not come back for a fourth season, there's no question it makes this countdown. I love the show to death and the first season was an absolute revelation. The problem is, there had to be a Season 4, and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I tried my best to watch the revived version of the comedy when Netflix released it, but I simply couldn't get into it. I understand that because the cast were all involved in individual projects, it made shooting difficult and required these character-specific episodes, but I just didn't enjoy it all that much. That may be illogical. I should just rate the first three seasons. Well, for whatever reason, I can't get past the Season 4 disappointment. Maybe my expectations were too high, but I came away very down on the show after watching it. It's really that simple. There were pieces of the third season that I didn't love, but that's true for nearly every series. It was Season 4 being such a flop as a viewing experience that Arrested finds its way to number eleven. That said, I would like to write about AD later on in a feature article. I have a lot of love for it.
The other question I received was whether The Simpsons would make the list. No. I think Matt Groening's creation deserves its own wing of any television countdown. It's an institution. Even though its best years were its first decade, The Simpsons makes any reputable television list. Futurama is in the discussion as well. So, if you'd like to place it on the "Lifetime Achievement Award" podium, feel free.
But there's one show left to get to, and it's the show that led me to a place I am today. It's the show that made me want to write words about television. It's the program that turned comedy on its head, forever.
It's the show about nothing...that changed everything.
NUMBER ONE: SEINFELD (1989-1998)
Jerry Seinfeld was known as the comedian the kids would enjoy along with, not in spite of, their parents. He was relatively clean and was a master of observational humor. His jokes didn't require long set-ups and he had a way of stringing several punch lines together within one sequence. The 1980s and 1990s were decades where most great comedies came from stand-up comedians who adapted their act and extended jokes into full episodes. Tim Allen took "Men Are Pigs" and Home Improvement was born. Roseanne Barr took her crass brand of laughs and created an ABC comedy hit. Brett Butler led to Grace Under Fire, Paul Reiser's books and comedy became Mad About You, and of course, the king, he who must in 2015 not be named, William H. Cosby Jr,, created The Cosby Show. His legendary "Bill Cosby: Himself" special ranks among the all-time greats and basically led to the plot for much of the first season of his NBC mega-hit.
Jerry was a stand-up, as was Larry David, but Seinfeld was no mere adaptation. Very early in its nine-season run, it was clear this was a show America, and the world, had never seen before. The cast was small; it had nothing to do with family and was even less concerned with kids. It was a show where anything could happen, where events could be forgotten or sometimes lead to something, but no road map would tell the audience what was important and what was total nonsense. It was clever and its genius was in taking extremely tiny things and blowing them up into national conversations. Seinfeld could easily have been renamed "The Mountain and the Mole Hill," because it relied upon misunderstandings, paranoia, difficult relationships, sexual eccentricities, and the fear of failure as an adult. But, those traits were all in service of the greater good. In the final evaluation, Seinfeld really was about nothing.
Jerry Seinfeld was a Jewish New York comedian and had a few regular acquaintances and friends outside of his professional life. He spent time with his high school and college friend, the "short, stocky, bald" George Costanza (Jason Alexander), his friend and on-again off-again fling, Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), and his kooky, ridiculous neighbor Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards). No one was related, no one lived together, and no one had to have the others to survive. These were four people who did get along, who were selfish, mean, shallow, and each approached a clinical level of insanity.
George Costanza, before I met Ron Swanson, was arguably the greatest character in comedy history, along with Ralph Kramden and Archie Bunker. He's on any accurate Mount Rushmore, and, just as was the case with those other unforgettable roles, no one but Alexander could have played him. He was neurotic; he was terrified of ending up like his parents, who he simultaneously loved and despised, and he was the single most self-centered, petty, foot-in-mouth man ever depicted on the small screen. Well, with the exception of Larry David's character in Curb Your Enthusiasm, which would make my top 15 or 20. It's outside the top ten because it never evolved. It's always the same joke, just placed in a different scenario. A great joke that I love, but not a top ten joke. The improvised dialogue is incredibly impressive. But George, he's pure gold.
I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think "That's why I'm not a heterosexual." (George, S4E18)
Not coincidentally, Seinfeld co-creator David based Costanza on himself, and then based Curb's main character on himself. The volume was turned up, but George said the wrong thing on a pretty consistent basis and would overthink every decision, then immediately regret it. He was the one caught in situations that the audience understood, because we saw what preceded the uncomfortable moment, but the on-screen characters would never believe. Seinfeld had a way of telling us why something happened but ensuring we understood why no one who heard the story on the show would buy the excuse. Jerry and George weren't gay, but why would the reporter who overheard their unfortunate conversation have any reason to believe them? George had squirted juice into his eye, but why would Yankees executive Wilhelm believe Costanza wasn't executing a sly wink to get an underhanded point across? That's what Seinfeld was about. None of these things were big, but they became behemoths.
Elaine Benes worked for a publishing house, a rich, domineering nut job, and a fashion catalog magnate. She was good, but never great, at any of these jobs. Seinfeld showed misunderstandings at Pendant Publishing but none were ever a singular focus. That was the story at J. Peterman and his catalog as well. That stuff mattered and provided great entertainment, but almost never did Seinfeld avoid having each of its main four characters doing...something, even though so little of it actually amounted to anything. Elaine loved muffin tops but hated "the stumps" and came up with an idea to open a store that only sold the tops. Landfills refused the stumps, the homeless refused the stumps, and no one would take them. When the Today Sponge was taken off the market, Elaine bought every case she could find and stockpiled them in her apartment. The "show about nothing" moniker was true, but not in the way it was presented. This show was actually about everything, and illustrated how people can overreact to perception or rejection.
Elaine: Brett is so generous, and sensitive. Last night he was moved just listening to a song.
Jerry: What song?
Elaine: Desparado.
Jerry: Desperado? I'll tell you who sounds desperado. (S8E7)
Kramer, whose mother would eventually appear and reveal his first name, Cosmo, never had a real job in the entirety of Seinfeld. He moved from scheme to scheme and somehow just had enough money or enough moxy to survive. Whether it was attempting to profit off glass bottle recycling in Michigan using a mail truck or selling his daily life stories to J. Peterman, who discovered his own life was incredibly boring, Kramer was just there. He hosted Japanese businessmen, he started making dinner in his own shower, and virtually never did anything that made any sense at all. This was a man who enjoyed the feeling of fresh-out-of-the-dryer clothing and decided to start putting them in large ovens. He found the original Merv Griffin Show set and turned his apartment into a talk show. He spilled coffee on himself and hired the show's version of Johnnie Cochran, the great "Jackie Chiles." Michael Richards has certainly had his share of problems post-Seinfeld, but Kramer is another character on anyone's short list.
Make no mistake; Seinfeld was about a whole bunch of little tidbits that altered the existence of every one of these characters and those they encountered in their lives. All of this specific "nothing" combined to form one enormous "something." Elaine finds out her boyfriend is in the hospital just before she walks into a movie, but before hopping a cab, she purchases a box of Jujyfruits. She loses the relationship as a result of what's deemed callous behavior. Jerry starts sleeping with his blonde maid, who he realizes isn't a particularly good housekeeper, but keeps paying her. His friends then tell him he might be soliciting prostitution. The maid's boss is written to replicate a pimp. A suicidal man plunges to his death out of a hospital window and dies, landing on George's car. George presents the hospital administrator with a repair estimate and is called a monster.
All three of the above scenarios showcase Seinfeld's unique way of actively leading the audience to question themselves. Would I run screaming out of a movie theater, or, knowing I had a fairly lengthy commute to the hospital, would I walk two steps to the counter and pick up a snack? If I really dug my maid in the sack but she sucked as a cleaner, how long before I tried to just date her, but would I stop hiring her and thus risk not seeing her again? If a jumper decimated my car on hospital property, how would I get my car fixed if I didn't have much money? These situations and these afterbirth questions in our living rooms are why Seinfeld is untouchable. Some were funnier than others, but very rarely did any of them fail in their goal of entertainment.
Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away. (Jerry, S5E16)
Then, there were the Seinfeld trends. From Justin Pitt eating a Snickers bar with a fork, leading to a New York fad, to a masturbation contest that none of us will ever forget, to whether or not giving up sex makes men smarter and women ignorant, nothing was left out. The trends would be the most bizarre things imaginable and would pop up in different scenes, with different characters, as if we should all accept them. Think of the "close talker" or the "low talker" or the "high talker," which would be descriptions of various conversation styles that we understood and laughed at but honestly, we all knew people who talked like these individuals. The Seinfeld universe was a Larry David sandbox. He could turn anything into a normal occurrence and, consequently, make anything we accept in our actual lives appear completely outlandish.
At times in our lives, we think we might be suckers. Are we being played? Is someone taking advantage of our generosity, of our imbecility, of our lack of expertise? We also all think we're smarter than everybody else and can get over on people. It isn't a constant, but it happens, with all of us. From time to time, we're all George Costanza. We might not put together a candy bar lineup after a perceived theft at a car dealership, but we all think we're constantly smooth when we aren't. We're flawed but expect a flawless mate. We want the best for ourselves, even at other people's expense. When we see a suit we like but know a sale is coming up, we hide it or tell someone else the wrong date for the sale. We want that suit. Not always, but we've all got a little George in us.
On occasion, we're fairly normal, but still incredibly superficial and we make decisions that backfire, like cashing old checks sent to us from a relative, not realizing it might overdraft them. We also nitpick the potential significant other demographic, maybe she wears the same outfit every day or maybe he'd look better bald or might be a Communist. We move from job to job or paycheck-to-paycheck, maybe we have a small window of fame where people watch (or read) our performances. We date a lot but always think we could do better, knowing the date thinks the same thing. We all think we're the center of our circle's universe, when we aren't. Not always, but we've all got flashes of Elaine and Jerry in us, just in a realistic construct.
As for Kramer, maybe we all wish we could be a little like him. In the words of George Costanza:
Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating. That's a fantasy camp. (S4E15)
Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld tapped into a show that seemed so normal but was, in reality, one of the most ludicrous nine-season stories conceivable by a pair of human minds. Thank the good lord this isn't our world, right?
But, it kind of is our world, with the volume turned up. The reality-fantasy juxtaposition of Seinfeld is why it resonated so well. We wish we could be these people a little more often or say some of the things they do without reprisal. We also are thankful we aren't these people. Seinfeld struck a chord unlike any other in our lifetime. Numerous publications, from TV Guide to Entertainment Weekly, have Seinfeld in their top five. It won the Emmy for Outstanding Comedy Series in 1993. It was nominated for Outstanding Comedy every year from 1992 to 1998. TV Guide, in 2002 and again in 2013, called it the greatest television program of all-time. In 2013, the Writers Guild of America named it the second best written show in history, behind only The Sopranos, which I wrote about in our drama countdown last year. When a television comedy discussion begins, Seinfeld is generally the first sitcom that gets mentioned.
As for ratings, the first three seasons struggled a bit, and the fourth finished its campaign ranked 25. Seasons five through nine were all in the top three in Nielsen ratings, with six and nine finishing in the top spot. DVD sales were and remain incredibly strong and the show has thrived in syndication for well over a decade. It probably will still be there in 2025. What would you possibly rather have in your time slot than syndicated episodes of Seinfeld? It's the cock of the walk. It's Little Jerry Seinfeld!
Kramer: I bought a chicken.
George: Allow me. Why?
Kramer: Cage-free, farm fresh eggs.
Jerry: Allow me. What are you, an idiot? (S8E11)
Finally, the show was littered with iconic recurring guest stars. Kenny Bania, a fellow comic and opportunistic friend of Jerry's who always wants a meal for a favor. There's Newman, Jerry's arch-enemy, Kramer's friend, the mild-mannered mail carrier and scofflaw. We have George Steinbrenner, with the voice of Larry David, George's boss at the Yankees who loves a good eggplant calzone. Susan Ross, NBC executive, George's girlfriend, then dumped part-time lesbian, then fiancé, who dies from toxic glue on cheap wedding invitations. Mr. Kruger of Kruger's Industrial Smoothing, who George works for and who he desperately wants to nickname him "T-Bone." Jack Klompus, who lives at Del Boca Vista in Florida with Jerry's parents, who loves special pens and who drives a Caddy into a lake. Jerry's Uncle Leo, who you'd better say "hello" to and who doesn't understand those who blow off small talk. David Putty, Elaine's beau, who's a face painter, loves Arby's, and "supports the team." John O'Hurley took a life in drama and stage and became one of the great secondary characters we've ever seen or we will ever see in J. Peterman.
And, in their own category, we can't do this without mentioning the parents. Frank and Estelle Costanza (Jerry Stiller and Estelle Harris) could have starred in a show about their own lives. Stiller could crack the audience up without saying anything funny, just by how he delivered a line. Ask Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who had an extremely difficult time in finishing scenes with him without breaking up. He would scream or take inordinate pauses or fire a look and it would just be over. Estelle was a typical overdramatic mother but she was just ridiculous enough that there's no way these two people ever should have been married or even in the same room. They were so unbelievably annoying. In short, they were perfect.
Estelle: Georgie, would you like some Jell-O?
Frank: Why do you put the bananas in there?
Estelle: George likes the bananas!
Frank: SO LET HIM HAVE BANANAS ON THE SIDE! (S5E2)
While not quite as memorable, Morty and Helen Seinfeld were excellent characters as well. Morty (Barney Martin) used to sell the hell out of some raincoats. His wife, Helen (Liz Sheridan), was much less obnoxious than Estelle, and the two families didn't really care for one another. Morty and Helen lived in Florida, leading to a few uproarious trips to their retirement community, one that led to a Nixon-esque moment. They had strange friends as well, including Klompus and Izzy Mandelbaum (Lloyd Bridges), both of which are unforgettable. It wasn't about family, but, sometimes, it was sort of about family.
I started this post by saying Seinfeld changed me, forever. It sounds implausible. Let me briefly explain. This is the tribute Seinfeld deserves and why it just can't be beaten in my book. Seinfeld helped save my life. While I watched the show along with my high school classmates in the mid-90s and, along with many, didn't watch the early years live, unsure of time slot future. I missed a lot of great episodes. When I attended college for the first time in 1997, at NC State in Raleigh, I ran into something I hadn't experienced before.
Completely unrestrained, I was placed in a living situation amongst some very ugly people, who didn't treat me well at all. At the same time, I allowed it to continue, not strong enough to fight it off or maybe happy in my victim-status. I lost all my self-respect and slowly began to question whether life itself was worth my misery. Somehow, I got through it, and came back that fall. It was a new dorm, new people, and a different reality. In the room across from me, two high school friends had a room together. I befriended them and found they had one true obsession, Seinfeld. They had every episode on videotape, having recorded them live and in syndication, and lent them to me whenever I wanted them. My mind wasn't right from the year before and it would take medication to get past the issues of spring 1998. But, with my sleep schedule in depression mode, Seinfeld was there. I watched the episodes over and over, until 7 or 8 in the morning when I could finally fall asleep. I didn't realize at the time how dangerous my life had become and how self-destructive my mind had become. I had mentally flat lined. My only solace at NC State was this little show about nothing. I looked forward to each tape and each episode. I repeated the lines or said them aloud with the characters. I read every word I could find on Seinfeld. I let that love overrun my negativity and push it out of the way. The laughs helped me find myself again.
When I look back in 2015 at the life I have and the ambition that comes along with it, I look back and wonder whether that idiot kid, that damaged, weak kid, makes it here without the one comedy that never let me down. As a result of Seinfeld, I delved further into television and film, started taking it seriously, started watching with a different eye, and later thought maybe it would be fun and enriching to write about it from time to time.
Seinfeld was number one on my list without that story, but it will forever hold THE special place in my heart because when nothing else seemed to even make me smile, Seinfeld made me laugh out loud. I could write an article on every episode and fill the space. Every story had its own quirks and own creativity that made it work. Kramer writes a coffee table book about coffee tables, he has an idea for a fragrance that smells like the beach and another for a do-it-yourself pizza parlor. I have to stop soon or I'll write all of them...George and Breakfast at Tiffany's, "I was in the pool," the Pig Man, the Van Buren Boys, the slicer, the pee sofa, JFK's golf clubs, Poppy, the electronic organizer, the Jerk Store called, Serenity Now, the Alex Theater and Lloyd Braun, Elaine's nipple, Kramer's kidney stone, the virgin, H.E. Pennypacker, Jerry and the black and white cookie, George's Gore-Tex jacket, bringing Pepsi to a dinner party, Kramer's battle with the cable company, Tolstoy's classic War: What is it Good For, the Maestro, "Rochelle, Rochelle" and an ill-fated trip to the cinema, "master of my domain", PBS tote bags, George and the trashcan, the Chinese restaurant, Hop Sing's, "Jerry" and the case of the missing raisins, Marisa Tomei, the air conditioner and the parking spot, the Manzziere, or is it the Bro, George trying "The Opposite," Bookman, toilet books leading to brain punches, and a PEZ dispenser. And the damn puffy shirt in the SAME EPISODE where George is a hand model, replacing a legend who fell in love with the touch of his own hands.
Oh...and then there's the yogurt that's so fucking good and the deaf U.S. Open lineswoman and George as a movie bootlegger and holy crap, how could I forget Medium Crab Bisque and the Soup Nazi...he was in one episode and became a cultural icon. And George faking jobs from first Art Vandelay, the architect, to probably my favorite episode, where he attempts to convince a woman he's a marine biologist. "The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli" is one of the all timers.
I try to end these with something cute or something poetic or something that encompasses Seinfeld but really, just listing a bunch of moments or plot points or characters is what that show is and what it will always be. It's a touchstone to the close of last century. It means different things to different people, because so many episodes could be called great.
It truly is the show about nothing - that changed everything.
But, most importantly, Seinfeld was a show about nothing that somehow helped me become something.
I really have to stop now. Seinfeld's number one. There's no argument. If you disagree, you're entitled, but if you want bread, YOU COME BACK -- ONE YEAR!
I'm @GuyNamedJason. Who? Who does not want to wear the ribbon? Oh, and they're real -- and they're spectacular.
(Dedicated to the memory of Daniel von Bargen, who passed away on Wednesday at age 64. His career was vast, but his role as Seinfeld's Mr. Kruger will stand the test of time. He wasn't in many episodes, all in the final season, but we remember him like he was there far longer. The character was huge. He also found success as Commandant Edwin Spangler on Malcolm in the Middle. These are just two of the incredible characters he leaves us with. Thoughts with his family.)