Americans Ranked Five Thanksgiving Side Dishes, But Did They Get It Right?
Everybody knows that on Thanksgiving, the sides are the true stars of the show.
In fact, the turkey is really only there as a formality — this holiday staple we all eat simply because some novelist in the mid-19th-century decided we should. (Seriously, look it up.) But nobody gets excited about the main course on Thanksgiving… or anytime, really. How often do you hear someone say, "Damn, I could really go for a fat juicy slice of turkey right about now!"
Never. We're here for the sides.
Earlier this month, Campbell's released its "State of The Sides." The annual report analyzes holiday side dishes and recipe trends and ranks the sides based on a nationwide survey.
So let's get into it. America's favorite side dishes, ranked from worst to first:
5. Mac & Cheese
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At first, I was personally offended that macaroni & cheese came in last — mainly because it is my favorite food of all time. Seriously. If a magical genie approached me with three wishes, one of those wishes would be for mac & cheese to have zero calories so that I could eat it whenever I wanted.
But then I snapped out of my selfish rage, and I looked at it from another perspective: mac & cheese isn't really a Thanksgiving side. I mean, don't get me wrong, if someone slapped a scoop of Velveeta shells on the plate next to my turkey, I'd eat the crap out of it without asking questions. But it's not a traditional part of the Thanksgiving feast.
CONSIDER: Is Macaroni And Cheese A Proper Thanksgiving Side? No, But Let’s Talk About It
And as we established with that whole turkey thing, tradition is very important for this holiday. So I'll allow it.
4. Green Bean Casserole
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Perhaps an unpopular opinion here, but green bean casserole might actually be my No. 1.
I'm a noted carb enthusiast, but there's just something about those crunchy onions on top of those creamy (my husband hates that word) green beans that gets my taste buds grooving. Combine that with the "special" factor (after all, we ONLY ever eat green bean casserole on Thanksgiving), and I think this No. 4 ranking is slightly disrespectful.
3. Sweet Potatoes
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I'm sorry if this ruffles your turkey feathers, but sweet potatoes are such a "meh" food. Sometimes I buy them thinking it'll be a nice change of pace to my meal prep, and then I always regret that decision. White potatoes are just infinitely better.
Covering sweet potatoes (or yams, I still haven't figured out the difference) in marshmallows and brown sugar helps, but — for those astronomical calories — I'd rather eat a slice of pie. Or more mashed potatoes.
Speaking of…
2. Mashed Potatoes
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America really fumbled this one. Despite my love for green bean casserole, I fully expected mashed potatoes to be the No. 1 pick here.
Not only would I happily motorboat a bowl of creamy (agh, that word again!) mashed potatoes all by themselves, but add a little gravy and a bite of that boring ol' turkey and BOOM… magic in your mouth hole. Potatoes really are nature's perfect food.
So if mashed potatoes are No 2, then No. 1 has to be REALLY good, right? Right??
Wrong.
1. Stuffing OR Dressing
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I call it stuffing, but I'm trying to be inclusive here.
This was America's favorite, and it wasn't even close. A whopping 45 of the 50 states voted stuffing as the BEST Thanksgiving side dish in the Campbell's survey.
And, guys, I mean no disrespect to stuffing. I happily gobble that sh*t down, whether it's homemade or from a Stove Top box. A core memory from my childhood is of my mom leaving white bread sitting all over the kitchen for a few days before Thanksgiving so that it would get stale enough to crumble up for the stuffing.
But that's really what it is when you think about it: stale, goopy bread sprinkled with celery and onions. (And — if you're my brother — canned oysters. Which is repulsive.)
As Family Guy eloquently puts it, stuffing is essentially "butthole bread."
But I firmly believe stuffing/dressing earned the No. 1 ranking only because we immediately associate this particular side dish with Thanksgiving.
Because it really begs the question: If stuffing is REALLY that delicious, why do we only eat it one day a year?
Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!
Agree? Disagree? Mad at me over my turkey slander and want to set me straight? Email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com and hit me with all your Thanksgiving hot takes.
Whatever's on your menu this year, though, I think we can all agree on one thing: This meal costs a whole lot more than $58.
MORE FROM AMBER: A Man's Guide To Winning Thanksgiving Dinner