Tennessee Titans Quarterback Room Is Filled With Alpha Males | Nick Adams

The first week of free agency has concluded, and football fans are starting to get a glimpse of what the 2024 NFL season will look like.

• Pro-God, Pro-Trump, and Pro-Touchdown quarterback Kirk Cousins is on his way from Minnesota to Atlanta, Georgia, a key state for President Trump’s re-election prospects.
• Trevor Lawrence (Alpha Male) landed a new, big, burly, high-level center in Jacksonville with the addition of the Second Amendment enthusiast Mitch Morse.
• Derrick Henry is teaming up with Truzz Trump Lamar Jackson in Baltimore.

• Las Vegas has landed its franchise QB in Gardner Minshew.

Who Is Nick Adams Most Impressed With?

A lot of masculine names and alpha males have been on the move this offseason, but perhaps the team I have been most impressed with is the Tennessee Titans and their revamped quarterback room.

One of the key metrics I like to focus my analysis on is what my team of scouts like to call the "ALPHA" stat line.

Where do the athletes stand on God? Are they devout Christians? Are they atheist?

Where do athletes stand on Trump? Are they America First? Are they woke Bernie-bro socialists?

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Do they spend too much time with their Fortnite controller? Or are they digging deep in their playbook and Bible?

Are they out on Friday night eating Spanish Vegan Tapas with their sheila? Or are they at home eating steaks in preparation for a vigorous Foursome with the Boys early Saturday morning?

Anyone can study numbers related to yards and touchdowns, but as an alpha male, I’m more focused on the intangibles and the skills you can’t teach on a football field. When I look at the Tennessee Titans QB room, I am awestruck by the raw talent and pure testosterone jumping off the page. Malik Willis, Mason Rudolph, and Will Levis have already solidified their place in my Top 5 2024 QB rooms with plenty of ability to move up on that list.

History Of Alpha Males In The QB Room

Only two times in my lifetime have I witnessed a similar trio of alpha male quarterbacks assembled on one team, the 1993 Green Bay Packers (Brett Favre, Mark Brunell, Ty Detmer) and the 2016 New England Patriots (Tom Brady, Jimmy G, Jacoby Brissett). I’m not exaggerating when I say the 2024 Tennessee Titans could end up being the best of the bunch.

Let’s break them down: 

• Mason Rudolph isn’t just America First, he’s ULTRA MAGA and not apologizing anytime soon. Combine his unabashed patriotism with a rocket arm and dashing good looks, and MAGA Mason will never let you down (just like President Trump). Rudolph came off the bench last season to lead the Steelers to a playoff spot, behind the equally patriotic Brock Purdy. Now, he joins the most loaded QB room in the league with every intention of winning the starting job.
• Will Levis is a gym rat and working hard on his golf game. I had some scouts watching Levis rip bombs at the LIV Las Vegas Pro-Am and they were very impressed with his physique and build. I was told he looked more jacked than JJ Watt, but what stood out to my team even more was the fluidity of his hips. It’s rare to find a man as chiseled as Will Levis that can move like that. An elite physical specimen.
• Malik Willis should have been the first quarterback off the board in 2022, but the Pittsburgh Steelers ignored my mock draft and instead went with the small-handed Kenny Pickett. Now the failed Pitt QB is off to Philly (backing up a woke QB managed by an all-female team), and Malik Willis is entrenched in a masculine QB battle in Nashville. It appears the Titans were smart to draft the extremely charitable Liberty grad as the heir apparent to the washed-up Ryan Tannehill, who is a liberal Democrat and currently unemployed.

Vegas isn’t talking about this, and the woke sports media is ignoring it; that’s why I’m committed to bringing you the TRUTH. I predicted the San Francisco 49ers would go all the way last year because of their bold commitment to drafting pro-Trump and pro-God alpha males, and I would have been right if not for Taylor Swift.

I’m not ready to say the Titans will be in the Super Bowl this year, but you’d be foolish to doubt Cerberus.

Note: This column is obviously satire, and if you have a problem with it, please consult the nearest alpha male.