Magic Kingdom Fireworks Show Goes Woke

Those aren’t fireworks you’re hearing – that’s the woke alarm going off in Florida. The five-alarm fire was set off after Disney made the decision to remove the phrase "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls" from their renowned “Happily Ever After” nightly fireworks show.

The move aligns with a statement Disney released this spring that discussed their plans to add "Inclusion" as a fifth component to their customer service... A fancy way of alerting the public to their newfound wokeness. In part, the company said: "We want our guests to see their own backgrounds and traditions reflected in the stories, experiences and products they encounter in their interactions with Disney."

When addressing the show, which returned to Orlando's Magic Kingdom on Thursday after having been shutdown for more than a year, a Disney spokesperson told CBS News: "It's part of a broader effort. It's not about one or two things."

Prior to changing Happily Ever After's introduction, park goers were greeted by the phrase: "Good evening, ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, dreamers of all ages." As of Thursday, the new intro says: "Good evening, dreamers of all ages." Oh, the horror these poor families would've had to endure if their virgins ear dared to hear such demeaning terms as "ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls".

Predictably, not everyone is thrilled with Disney's decision:

 

Disney apparently was less concerned with offending the wallets of park goers. The lowest priced ticket for a one-day jaunt through Wokeland costs $109 for anyone over the age of 10. Enjoy those $15 souvenir cup dreamers!