Former Oregon Coach Chip Kelly Wins Again

The news is officially out concerning the 27 month, 27 month!, NCAA investigation into Oregon's improper relationship with a recruiting service. 

And, no surprise, the practical impact on the Oregon football team is negligible, no bowl ban, no significant scholarship reductions, just a slap on the wrist. 

The biggest punishment is for Chip Kelly, who received an 18 month show cause penalty. 

Except, you guessed it, Chip Kelly already skipped town, signing a $32.5 million dollar contract to coach in the NFL. That contract doubled Kelly's Oregon salary. The result? Kelly will make a cool $9.75 million while serving out that 18 month show cause penalty.

How will he ever survive the cold Philly winter making only $540,000 a month while on NCAA probation?

i'm praying for you, Chip. 

If Kelly is a tremendous success in the NFL he'll never return to college, but if he pulls a Steve Spurrier and his style doesn't transition to the pros, well, he can return to coaching in college after just two years in the NFL. 

Yep, he'd pocket $13 million and be a college coaching free agent, with no penalties still remaining.

Kelly's show cause expires on December 25th, 2014.

Merry Christmas, indeed. 

Do you think a team that needs a great coach is going to care a bit about the show cause which will already have expired?

Hell no.

Do you think fans will care?

Hell no. 

If he elects to return to college coaching after failing in the NFL, Chip Kelly will be in line for at least a five million dollar payday. 

And no NCAA penalty at all.

Yep, Kelly played the NCAA like a fat kid plays the ice cream truck driver who turns his back to take a phone call.

He flat out stole from them.  

If the NCAA wanted its show cause to have some teeth it would have pegged Kelly's show cause to only commence running when he tried to return to college coaching. Sure, it's an inventive penalty with an unclear duration, but at least it's a penalty.

Kelly wouldn't actually be able to turn a golden Eagles parachute back into another golden (insert college mascot here) parachute. 

As is, the message hasn't changed very much, if you're a successful coach jump to the pros just before the penalty comes down and you avoid all punishment. This has happened twice in the Pac 12 now, where a coach has jumped to the NFL just before his program took a major hit. Pete Carroll's landing spot was the Seattle Seahawks and now Kelly's leapt to the Philadelphia Eagles, two bird mascots have spirited away the two most successful coaches of the past 15 years in the Pac 12.  

Either Chip Kelly has the greatest timing in the history of coaching or he knew what was coming down the NCAA pike, that he was likely to be banned from coaching for two seasons.

Who knows, maybe Nike has their own NSA mole, constantly reviewing the NCAA's investigation record? How else to explain Kelly's perfect timing?  

Instead of serving any penalty at all, Kelly jumped at the exact right time, doubled his salary, and now he's left a college coaching free agent without restrictions in two years.

It's just the latest scatter-brained non-penalty, penalty attempted by the NCAA, the most corrupt, abusive, and illogical organization in America today. The lesson here, as always, is cheating pays off. 

The NCAA is the worst traffic cop any of us have ever seen, only once it pulls you over for failing to properly stop at a stop sign it lacks the authority to even write you a ticket. 

Unless, that is, you lie about throwing a BBQ. 

Thank God Kelly didn't lie about throwing a BBQ like Bruce Pearl, the most overpenalized man in NCAA history.

Whatever you do, don't throw a BBQ. Just pay shady managers for their top players instead. 

Then bounce for the NFL. 

Thanks to the NCAA, the Chip Kelly college coaching sweepstakes is officially open, free and clear. 

If he fails in the NFL, a program somewhere is going to have a very, very happy New Year in 2015.