A Latte More Than They Ordered: Man Pleasures Himself In Front Of Starbucks Patrons

On Friday, customers at a Florida Starbucks had the misfortune of seeing some unwanted beans. As it turns out, their overpriced, caffeinated sugar was coupled with the unexpected sight of a man pleasuring himself, free of charge.

Blake Reign, 27, who apparently won't have to change his name if he ever decides to become an adult film star, was spotted inside a café enjoying himself entirely too much.

Per Local10.com, Alyssa DiMaria, one of the customers who got more than she paid for, took her phone out and recorded Reign, shouting, "What are you f---ing doing? Get the f--- out! It’s disgusting!"

Presumably, she wasn't talking about the coffee or the baristas.










DiMaria's video shows Reign fiddling with his straw in various locations. First, he begins getting to know himself better inside of the café, going to town in front of an American flag. Minutes later, he opts to make himself more comfortable at one of the outside tables.

At one point, Reign appears to direct his efforts towards a couple of female patrons seated at a nearby table, leaving the girls grossed out.

"He's literally just touching himself to us," Madison Doyle, one of the witnesses told Local10.com. "He's making eye contact with us. Everyone in the store sees it."

After what witnesses say was 10 or 15 minutes of Reign enjoying himself, police were on the scene and a foot chase ensued. Reign continually resisted and was eventually shot with a taser gun several times before officers could finally subdue him.

Once taken into custody, Reign was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, disorderly conduct in an establishment, and resisting an officer without violence.

Next time, he should order the decaf.












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Anthony is a former high school basketball intramural champion who played a leading role in creating two offspring. He spends his weekends hoping for an MTV Rock N' Jock revival. Follow him on X (@OhioAF).